I don't love him, this is quite clear tonight.
I tried. I really did. But he's not very bright.

He's not very fast. He can't match my wit.
He's what started me smoking, and why I can't quit.

He was supposed to make me forget about you.
But that's just one more thing he's unable to do.

He's boring, and uptight. Rigid and tense.
He can't climb a tree. He can't hop a fence.

And you're down there, again. Smoking, no doubt.
Probably smirking, you cocky old lout.

Stop bothering me! Stop haunting my nights.
You're what I can't have. Stay out of my sight!

I look at you knowing you'd never do this.
You'd never misfire. You'd never miss.

And he's still asleep. Like an idiot ape.
So big and so clunky, like an eight track tape.

You, so sleek, just rode away on your bike.
So sexy. Forbidden. Just what I like.

I'm trapped here alone. Essentially stuck.
My friends all just love him. I'm one lucky duck.

And I'd give it all for just One. Good. Fuck.