:: Buffy/Willow Violence ::
Written By
ShadowKat
Buffy's big mistake = not sex
but violence? My apologies for length and taking up Board Space. Thanks to the
Board Mama for allowing it. And thanks to those who read it.
Everyone has been saying that Buffy's big mistake is sleeping with Spike. I
think that is misleading. It has been suggested that Buffy/Willow's stories
parallel each other this year. Willow's addiction to magic and Buffy's to Spike.
But is that a true parallel? Not really. Willow's been using magic to cope and
solve problems. She's been doing it since Season 2, possibly even Season 1.
Buffy has not been sleeping with Spike that long and I don't think that's the
mistake they're emphasizing. Buffy is not using Spike to handle problems, escape
maybe, but not handle. And before you start flaming or posting arguments hear me
out. This is not a pro B/S or anti B/S post I promise.
I think the writers have done an amazing job of misleading us, we keep thinking
Buffy and Willow are acting like addicts, using magic/spike to escape. Buffy &
Willow believe the same thing - we are entirely in their point of view, we are
thinking like the characters and like the characters we are missing the point.
Linda Delurker already did an amazing job of analyzing Willow's mistakes -
pointing out how they arise from Willow's increasing dependence on magic to
solve her own and everyone else's problems. Her dependence on magic is not so
much an addiction as a coping mechanism. The writers are misleading us here.
They've been doing that a lot, which is actually why I like the show, it's one
of the few that doesn't tell me what to think. The characters mistakes are not
isolated acts or means of escaping their problems- they are short cuts that
they've been using all along -coping devices, which Buffy/Willow have been using
to deal with their problems since the show began. And these short cuts or
devices, used minimally, worked when they were still in high school but now that
they've reached adulthood, their dependence on them is causing major problems.
As has been pointed out time and again about Willow - it's not the use of magic
that's the problem, it's the reasons she uses it and her increased dependence on
it that is.
But enough about Willow - let's move onto Buffy. How does Buffy cope? How has
Buffy dealt with her problems since the show began? By fighting. Remember what
everyone accuses her of in Welcome to The Hellmouth? "You got into fights at the
old school." "You got into trouble for fighting." But Buffy, the SG and even the
audience shrug this off as necessary, she is the slayer, she is the hands, she
has to slay the vamps and demons. Violence is the only course. But not in ALL
situations. Some situations call for intellect, gut instinct or heart, and some
spirit - or magic. We need balance. Yes - violence can be a short cut. I get
angry at you, I hit you, you go away, I feel better. But you're in the hospital
and I'm facing assault charges. Is Buffy using violence to solve all her
problems like Willow is using magic? Let's see.
As early as season 2 - in Inca Mummy Girl - there's a scene where Buffy, Xander,
and Willow see a guy trying to steal something from the museum. Buffy says
she'll take care of it and Willow stops her. "Uh - let me talk to him. We don't
need to get violent." (Not exact but close.) Buffy : "I don't use violence for
everything." Willow ignores her and goes to talk to the guy. Xander rolls his
eyes. Buffy: "I don't!" But she does.
Later in Halloween when Xander tries to defend Buffy's honor against Larry and
Larry has him by the neck, Buffy immediately shows up and threatens Larry. It
makes sense, of course. We don't question it. We even cheer her on. But this
causes problems.
In TED, Buffy's Mom worries about her use of violence and yeah, TED was a
violent robot, but Buffy didn't know that when she knocked him down the steps
the first round. Again we cheered her on. Why? We were in Buffy's pov.
In Becoming Part II - Joyce doesn't question that Buffy may have killed Kendra -
because Buffy has shown violent tendencies in the past - granted the "slayer"
bit explains that.
Moving on to Season 3. Faith is introduced and we see what can happen if a
slayer goes to far. Yet in Bad Girls, where the two steal from a store, beat up
cops and eventually fight the mayor's aid - Buffy gets off on the violence just
like Faith does. Faith even demonstrates how it can act like an addiction.
'We've the power, girlfriend. We can take what we want.' Everything about Faith
is violent. And Buffy goes there too - she and Faith get off on the fighting.
Then Faith accidentally kills the Mayor's aid, but as Buffy states - it could
have been Buffy. They weren't paying attention. They fought first, asked
questions later.
Season 4 -
Buffy and Riley in Where the Wild Things Are - their sexual relationship starts
after they've been out fighting. Buffy thinks about having sex while she is
fighting by Riley's side. Riley even comments at different points on how she
seems to get off on the fighting.
When Buffy can't fight, she feels helpless, less of a person - see Superstar
(she's weaker here, b/c Jonathan has sapped her strength, she feels useless,
helpless and it bothers her enough that she begins to question the reality) and
back to Season 3's Helpless (when Giles saps her strength for the Council. This
is an interesting episode, because it should prove to Buffy and the audience,
that superstrength is not always required to defeat the bad guy. You can use
your wits. She defeats him by tricking him into drinking holy water. But she's
happier with her strength back - because that was easier.)
Let's talk about Primeval and Restless - in Primeval it is demonstrated that
brute strength, violence is not enough to defeat Adam. He is too strong for
Buffy. She can't fight him. So her friends do a spell and join head, heart, and
spirit with her. She ends up defeating him by a combination of all three. Not
violence alone. From day one - she's just used violence, because her friends and
Giles have added the other elements.
Notice in Season 3 - can't remember the exact episode, but Buffy asks to help
with Research and Willow, Xander, and Giles tell her she's not really that good
at research and better at fighting. She agrees and goes off to see Angel. In
Restless - the first slayer tries to tell Buffy that she needs to use all four
elements. That she can't just be the hands.
Lanna de la Rossa (sp?) posted an excellent analysis of this a ways back. Lanna
mentioned that the first slayer was mind, heart, spirit and hands. Buffy has
been just using hands, relying on her friends to do the rest. How does she deal
with what the first slayer tells her? She fights her. First with words. Then
with her fists. She doesn't listen.
Season 5.
In Buffy vs. Dracula - we realize Buffy has been leaving Riley at night to hunt
and kill vamps. To fight. To play predator. And she is getting off on it. It has
become an addiction and this scares her. Dracula points it out to her and says
that it makes her more like him. They both crave the kill. They both get off on
Violence. Spike even tells her this much earlier in Season3's Lover's Walk.
"Come on! Don't tell me you didn't think that wasn't fun?" Taunting her with the
fact that she enjoys a good fight as much as he does. She asks for Giles help,
but he doesn't understand what she's worrying about and then of course Dawn
arrives and everyone is distracted. Also how does she first deal with the
knowledge Dawn isn't real? (She pushes her against the door and threatens her
with violence in No Place Like Home.) Later - when Riley loses his
super-strength, he believes he's also lost Buffy. Why? Because she no longer
wants him to join her on patrols. And that worries him. He's almost jealous.
Then we come to Into the Woods - how does Buffy deal with Riley? Does she talk
to him? No. She goes and kills a bunch of allegedly harmless vamps. Her friends
try to dissuade her. Tell her they aren't important. She should be focusing her
strength on fighting a less ambiguous evil. Not finding the vamps - she burns
the place down. Does she speak to Riley after that? No. He finds her punching a
bag. He asks her to hit him. But she won't because she knows she won't be able
to stop. Instead she kills all the vamps in the alley.
Season 6.
Let's look at how Buffy's been dealing with her problems this season.
When she comes out of the grave - she is enlisted to fight the pirates. In
Afterlife, she has to chop off the head of the ghost. (She had no choice in
either instance. The same argument could be made about Willow using magic to
bring Buffy back and making the ghost solid.)
In the first three episodes - Buffy's use of violence to deal with her problems
doesn't seem to be a problem any more than Willow's use of magic really looks
that bad. But by All The Way - if we're paying attention - we'll notice both
are beginning to retreat more and more into these patterns. We've already
discussed what Willow does. But what about Buffy? She goes out patrolling and
on a night that Giles' has already pointed out more than once - she does not
need to patrol. She leaves a party to do it. No one notices this because Dawn
goes missing and her action is justified. We the audience of course think she's
just gone to visit Spike, then discovered the whole Dawn thing.
Now this is misleading - we think that Spike is the addiction….nope. Look again.
At the end of the episode, what does she say to spike? "Good fight." Spike like
Dracula picks up on this desire in Life Serial -" you're like me, you like
fighting." So he takes her to a bar to play cards. Buffy's disappointed. She
thought they were going to bash heads in. What does Spike say? "You'll learn
more by talking to them." Buffy sulks. (Very ironic, we'd have expected the
reverse right??) And what does Buffy say at the end of the episode? "I thought
you were going to help me fix my life, by beating in a few heads."
By the time we hit OMWF - Buffy and Willow are almost out of control. Buffy
feels as if she's going through the motions. Only feeling when she hits
something. When violence is involved. Willow is using magic to solve just about
everything. In Life's a Show - Buffy's dance is a violent one. She fights the
demon henchmen, and then engages in a violent dance herself, handling the
situation with the demon and her sister with violence. It's ironic that Spike is
the one who stops the violent dance. The one who tries to reason with her.
The sex isn't violent, it's Buffy's way of dealing with it that is. She kisses
him, she beats him. In Smashed, when he asks to talk to her about it, figure it
out, reason with her, she hits him and hurls insults. In Wrecked after they've
slept together, she hurls insults and hits him in the nose. In Gone, she
tortures the Social Worker, then goes to Spike's crypt and throws him across the
room. When Spike tried to discuss the whole situation, she screamed at him. In
DMP - she thinks there's a problem and almost gets fired for throwing things
around. She doesn't investigate it first. She hits and asks questions later. In
Dead Things - she fights demons she can barely make out. Assumes she killed a
girl. Again doesn't ask questions or figure out what happened. And instead of
talking rationally to Spike or discussing what happened. Beats him up, leaves
him a crumpled heap and goes into the police. She doesn't think. She acts. NA -
she decides the solution to her problem is to kill her friends. I can't deal
with telling them what I'm going through, so I'll just fight my way out of it. I
don't want to hear what Xander is saying, so I'll hit him over the head with a
frying pan.
In her defense - she's really never been given any other choice. From the moment
she was chosen, her Watchers have trained her to be a fighting machine, a demon
killer. Giles mistake was he didn't balance it with other things. To Buffy -
the best way to deal with a problem, to beat the bad guy, is to fight it or him
with her fists. And the adrenaline rush that comes with the fighting, the
physical violence, can be addictive. Physical exertion can create endorphins.
There's an element of power involved. It must feel good to stake the vamp. To
beat something to death. How many times has she done this now? She doesn't know
another way. Or does she?
Let's look at a couple of people who've found one.
Xander - uses his heart, his gut to make the hard decisions. His mistakes often
come from a lack of trust in himself or when he isn't using that gut.
Giles - uses his mind, his intellect. He researches it out. He doesn't act
without thinking and he appears to have passed this onto Xander. Incredibly
ironic - considering Xander was the one Giles thought the least of.
Tara - uses her heart, mind, and spirit to make decisions. She thinks through
things. Researches them out. Does it the hard way. Discusses the problem. She
even tells Willow that you have to talk about things, work them out, there
aren't any short cuts in a relationship. (Beginning of Tabula Rasa).
It's not the mistakes themselves that are the problem. It's how they make them.
It's how Buffy and Willow continue to make them that they need to change. Willow
needs to learn not to resort to magic to make herself feel better, to hide, or
solve all her problems. And Buffy needs to learn not to resort to violence to
make herself feel better, to obliterate, or to solve all her problems. Until
they do - neither woman can have a good relationship.
~ Shadowkat