Meet me in outerspace
We could spend the night, watch the earth come up
I've grown tired of that place, wont you come with me
We could start again
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, it's better than I ever knew

It was really late when I got there, so I figured maybe Cordelia and Wesley would've left already. But I thought Angel would be there. Reading, maybe. He likes to read almost as much as Giles does. Or he could be practicing his Tai Chi. I never got tired of watching that.

But no. Nobody was there. Well, nobody I knew. The somebody who was there wasn't Angel.

"Who are you?"

He turned to face me. He was older than me. A couple years older than Riley, probably, but still a pretty young guy. Not bad looking, either. I mean, I've seen better, but I've actually dated worse. And there was something about him. He was way intense. Something else, too, that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Like he was right on the edge of my Spidey sense, but not in a demony way. All I know is, Angel wasn't there, but the butterflies decided to stick around anyway.

He looked me over in a pretty subtle kind of way. His eyes just sorta flickered down and up again.

"A friend. And you?"

"I'm Buffy. Where's Angel? And you never answered my question"

He smiled at that. "No, I guess I didn't. So you're Buffy. I must say, Angel is right; you're beautiful"

I knew I was in trouble then. No matter how hard I try to tell myself it isn't true, that bad boy vibe gets me every time. Still, he didn't need to be among those who knew that.

"Do you have a name?"

He held out his hand, and I took it a little slowly, since I still wasn't sure of him. "It's Lindsey" He seemed to expect me to know the name for some reason. When I didn't react, he smiled again.

I know I should have listened to the whole Danger, Will Robinson thing going off in my head, but my stomach was still swimming in butterflies. Can you swim in butterflies? I can just see Giles rolling his eyes over that one now. At least that wouldn't be as bad as the disappointment in those same eyes when I had to tell him about my little adventure in poor judgment. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Angel's out with a client. He won't be back for a while yet"

I sat down. "I'll wait"

"Could be a long wait. Client's out of town"

"Then what are you doing here?"

He sat a little too close to me. I wouldn't budge. If he wanted to play chicken, he'd have a hard time winning.

"That's a good question" I was getting tired of the way he never answered the questions I asked. He responded, but he didn't tell me anything. I must've looked pretty pissed off at that point because he tried a different angle.

"Seems silly both of us waiting here for Angel when he won't be back for quite some time"

"You're right. Why don't you go away and I'll wait for him"

"Actually, there's not much point in either one of us being here tonight. He won't be back until at least tomorrow"

"How do you know that?"

"I told you; I'm a friend. And in case you're wondering, I don't bite"

He smiled again, and I couldn't help laughing. Great. This guy's sitting here telling me he's not a vamp. Like I would'nt have known if he was.

"Darn. You mean I got that rabies shot for nothing?"

Lindsey stood and held out his hand to me. "Come with me. There's something I'd like to show you"

"And I should go with you because...?"

"You don't have to if you're afraid"

Damn! He just had to say that. If he'd told me a sob story about how trustworthy he was, I would never have bought it. If he'd tried to joke me into it, I would have stayed put. But he had to challenge me. I can't resist a challenge. Call me chicken and I'll follow you anywhere just to prove I'm not. Which only goes to show what a turkey I can be. Yup, I'm the poultry section. Poultry in motion, that's me.

I followed him, but didn't take his hand. If I was going to keep any control over the situation, I didn't dare touch him again. When I felt his hand at the small of my back a piece of me seemed to melt inside.

He led me to his car and opened the passenger side door for me. When he slid into the driver's seat, he looked at me hard for a minute. I didn't know what he was looking for, but he must have found it because he leaned over to me and brushed his fingertips across my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch at first. Then I jerked back. This guy was a total stranger and I was letting him get to me in a way Riley never had.

"So where are we going, Lindsey? You still haven't told me"

"A very special place. I think you'll like it"

Great. A cryptic bad boy. I've never fallen for one of those before, have I? What is it about a guy who won't give me a straight answer that turns me on so much? I so need therapy.

As we drove, he said nothing unless I asked him a direct question. Of course, he didn't really answer any of them any more than he had before. He always seemed to be hedging his bets. He wasn't a vampire, but he certainly had something to hide.

Finally we were driving up a high hillside overlooking the city. When we got to the top, he parked the car and we got out. He led me to a spot almost on the edge of a cliff, holding my hand as we went. I still don't know why I trusted him not to just throw me off. By this time, I had the feeling that no matter who he might want to hurt, it wasn't me.

As we stood there, he wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I felt myself both accepting and encouraging the embrace. Probably because for the first time, he was really talking to me. Telling me stuff.

"When I first came to LA, I felt so lonely. I didn't know a single soul in the city. I had a job, but nobody to talk to. Nobody I could tell my dreams to. Then I took a drive one day and wound up here. It was so peaceful; so beautiful. I started coming here at nights. I'd look down at the city. Then I'd tell my dreams to the stars. Have you ever told the stars your dreams, Buffy? It makes them feel like they're gonna come true"

"Have they? Come true, I mean"

He went silent for a long time. Just stood there holding me until I wasn't sure where he was even though his arms were around me.

"I'm hoping that one will come true tonight" He turned me to face him. He lowered his face to mine slowly, giving me every chance to stop it. I still don't know why I didn't stop him. Then his lips met mine. I was shaking with fear and confusion, but I couldn't stop myself from kissing him back.

When we pulled back, I dropped my face. I didn't want to see his eyes when I said what I had to.

"Lindsey, I-I have a boyfriend. I shouldn't have done that"

"It's okay. I'm sorry. We can just talk, if that's what you'd like"

That's when I should have asked him to take me back. Unfortunately, I'm the sort of girl who runs with scissors and plays with matches.

"I'd like that"

"Why don't I make us a bit more comfortable?"

He went to the trunk of the car and pulled out a blanket, a bottle of red wine, and two glasses.

"Do you always keep stuff like that in your car?"

"I was a Boy Scout. I like to be prepared"

He laid out the blanket on the ground and started to open the bottle.

"Um, maybe we shouldn't have that. Booze and Buffy, not a good combination. Really bad things happen. Giant snakes, cavemen. Not of the good"

"I've never seen a snake here, giant or otherwise. Or a caveman, for that matter. It's just wine. I'll keep you safe"

I laughed at that. He thought it was because he made a joke, probably, but it was really the idea of this obvious corporate suit trying to protect a Slayer. Still, I let him pour me a glass.

That was my biggest mistake.

Three glasses later, he knew my entire life story, all my most secret dreams, and what I looked like with my shirt off. I couldn't believe what a cheap date I was being. Then again, he looked pretty tasty without his shirt, and I was really starting to wonder what no pants would be like.

All too soon, we both found out the answer to that one.

Meet me in outerspace
I will hold you close, If your afraid of heights
I need you to see this place,
It might be the only way
That I can show you how, it feels to be inside of you
How do you it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
Do oh oh oh oh oh
You are stellar
You are stellar

Afterwards, we lay naked on the blanket and stared up at the stars some more. I don't even know how long we just stayed there without saying a word. Finally we both got up, got dressed, and went to his car.

We didn't even say anything when he dropped me off back at Angel's office. He just drove away. I went in, told Angel about the prophecy, caught Cordelia up on Sunnydale gossip, and left to catch my bus home.

For the next few weeks, I tried not to think about my night with Lindsey. I was extra nice to Riley and extra responsible on the Slayage front. It had been an incredible experience, but I couldn't afford to remember it. If I remembered, it had really happened, and it couldn't have happened.

There are times when I think my SAT scores were a fluke.

One night, about four weeks after The Night, I went to visit Giles. I had to tell somebody what was going on and he was the only one I could trust. As soon as I got there, he knew something was really wrong. He sat me down on the sofa and went to make tea. I think sometimes he does that so I have time to put my thoughts in order before I have to say anything. Sometimes it even works. He'd hardly put the tray on the coffee table before I had to blurt it out.

"Giles, I'm late"

"Late? I'm sorry, Buffy, late for what?" He looked confused.

I gave him a significant look. "Late, Giles. More than a week late"

He pulled off his glasses and blinked several times as the gears turned in his brain. "You mean, you think you may be pregnant?"

"Actually, I think I probably am pregnant"

"How does Riley feel about it?"

"Riley doesn't know yet" I couldn't even look him in the face when I said what I had to say next.

"If I am, it isn't his"

I ended up telling Giles the whole miserable story. He just listened, the way he does. Of course, I was bawling long before I got finished. Of course, Giles gave me a handkerchief and a shoulder to cry on. No matter how often or how badly I disappoint him, my Watcher keeps on taking care of me.

When I'd gotten myself back together a little bit, Giles turned to the practical.

"The first thing to do is to find out if you are pregnant or not. An interruption in your cycle could be caused by stress, and you've obviously been under a great deal of stress keeping that sort of a secret. The other thing we must do immediately is to find out who this Lindsey fellow is. You said he's a friend of Angel's, yes?"

"He said that. At least, he implied it"

"Then I suggest you call Angel and make discreet inquiries about him. See if you can find out his address or phone number, or at least his surname"

"I guess I sorta deserved that one"

"I'm not trying to make you feel any worse than you already do, Buffy. I know this is difficult for you. And I want you to know that whatever happens I will always be here for you. We'll find a way through this, I promise"

Giles and I aren't touchy-feely with each other ever. The last time we'd hugged each other was that night outside the factory when he tried to kill Angelus over two years before. I'd forgotten how good it felt. How safe it was. It was hard to let go, but I knew I had a couple tough things to do before I could talk myself out of them.

First, I asked Giles if I could take the test at his place. The last thing I needed was for my Mom to see a home pregnancy test in my bathroom. She'd wig out majorly. Of course, Giles said I could. And that I could call Angel from his phone as well.

I decided to call Angel first. That way I wouldn't chicken out.

Angel wasn't in. Again. I asked Cordelia if she knew Angel's friend, Lindsey. By the time she was done reciting chapter and verse of just how much Lindsey wasn't Angel's friend, I had dropped the phone. Giles picked it up and finished the conversation before sitting next to me.

"He's the one. He hired Faith to kill Angel. He tried to kill Angel and I slept with him"

"You didn't know, Buffy"

"I didn't exactly bother to ask first, though, did I?"

Even Giles couldn't find a comforting answer to that one.

The next evening I was back on Giles' sofa watching a timer. Giles sat next to me looking almost as nervous as I felt. When the timer went off, he gave my shoulder a quick squeeze of comfort and reassurance. I took a deep breath and went to check the test results.

The next thing I knew I was on the floor on my knees in Giles' bathroom crying my eyes out. The mixture of relief, anger at myself, and disappointment - yeah, I said disappointment - was too much for me. No matter how awful it would have made everything, there was still some little part of me that wanted that baby. Like I said: SAT scores, fluke.

In no time, Giles was with me. He held me and whispered comforting words that I couldn't even hear to me. He was just there. Being Giles. Getting me through yet another shitty mess I've gotten myself into.

Somehow, I know things will be okay as long as I have Giles to lean on.

How do you it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, make me feel like I do, Yeah.

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