Two tired, disgruntled women, a vampire, and a demon stopped in the hall outside their rooms.

"I told you guys not to talk to the deskclerk. Why do you never listen to anything I say?"

"I'm sorry, Cordy."

The vampire failed to look truly contrite.

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Angel. What did you think he was gonna say when he looked up at the mirror and there was no you in it?" She whirled around to face the demon. "And as for you, Mr. Subtlety, what's with the baseball hat?"

"Covers the horns, in case you haven't noticed."

"Doesn't cover the green skin, does it? You two nearly got us thrown out of the hotel. Do you have any idea how hard that is in San Francisco?"

"Look, could we all just calm down and try not to kill each other this weekend?" Kate pleaded. "We're checked in, we're all tired, and we have a big job to do. I think saving the world is a little more important than this."

"You're right. I'm sorry, Cordy. Next time I won't protect you when some little jerk with a stupid desk job decides to come on to you."

"Damn right, you won't. I can take care of myself."

Cordelia slid the keycard into the lock and opened the door to her room; the one she would spend the weekend sharing with Buffy and Kate. The women walked in and set down their luggage.

"So," Kate began, "does Buffy know Lorne and I are backing you up on this one?"

Cordelia began to gnaw at a fingernail.

"That's a really bad habit for an actress to have, you know," Kate offered.

"Don't you start on me."

"No, I just thought maybe you could try putting some iodine on your nails. That's what my dad did when I was a kid. It worked like a charm."

"Charm, I don't need. But a workout in the gym could do wonders for me. Wanna come with?"

"Maybe later. I want to look over what we've got again. See if I can get any clue what sort of demon we're looking at."

Cordelia shrugged.

"I thought we left Wesley back at the office."

The girl pulled a spandex workout ensemble out of her luggage and headed off.

"See ya' when I get back."

Kate mumbled a reply without raising her head from the computer printout she studied.

*****

"En guarde!"

The two combatants circled one another slowly. Anyone watching would have thought the result of the match was clear from the beginning. After all, the man was at least a foot taller than his petite opponent and obviously skilled in the art of swordsmanship.

Giles deflected Buffy's initial assaults efficiently. Her theatrical flourishes were no match for his longer arms and clean technique.

Still, she gained on him quickly. Her rapid thrusts became too frequent for him to parry them all. Her lightning speed reflexive moves stopped several attacks that would have taken valuable points from a slower swordswoman.

For quite some time, neither managed to score at all. Then one would gain a point only to be matched by the other.

A crowd gathered to watch the fight. Several spectators made bets on the outcome. Cordelia pushed her way to the front of the audience and immediately began to nibble at a fingernail.

The fight went on for some time. Neither fencer would give a point away if it could be helped. As time went on, though. Giles began to slow down. Buffy was able to find a way through his defenses more often. At last, the Slayer managed to defeat her opponent.

"Ha! I win, Giles! You get to buy dinner!"

"And we have an extra training session tomorrow."

"But I won. That was only if I lost."

"Or if you used too many moves stolen from Robin Hood films. Half the time I thought you were going to put someone's eye out."

"But I won. And nobody's looking all Oedipal. And you're a sore loser."

"Nothing a good backrub wouldn't cure. Double training tomorrow."

"Okay, okay. Double training. If your back holds out."

"That's enough of your cheek."

The smiles that wreathed their faces were proof that neither was serious in their bickering. Both stopped short when they saw Cordelia, still worrying her fingernail.

"Cordelia, hello. You and Angel must have made good time," Giles greeted her.

"Huh! You're telling me! We started way early. Angel was in a big old hurry to see you guys. I had to drive for almost five hours before he could take the wheel without frying."

"So he made it okay, right?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, He's fine."

"Y'know, Cordy I like the new look except for one thing. What's with the raggedy nails? You never used to do that."

Cordelia immediately clasped her hands behind her back.

"It's nothing."

"Are you sure, Cordelia?" Giles cocked his head and furrowed his brow in concern. "I know the last time I spoke with Wesley he said your visions were getting worse. Could this be related somehow?"

"Guys, guys, it's really nothing. Just a bad habit I picked up. Angel's helping me with it. Really. I'm okay. Now can we talk about something else?"

"I think perhaps I ought to go clean up," Giles announced. "I'm sure Angel will want to discuss the situation soon."

With a small squeeze to Buffy's shoulder and a friendly nod to Cordelia, he left the girls to their own devices. An awkward silence ensued.

"So...Buffy...you're alive again. That's just great."

"Thanks, Cordelia." After a moment, the Slayer gestured to the Seer's outfit with the point of her foil. "Working out?"

"Yeah. Fencing?"

"Yeah. I think Giles likes it because he can still beat me every once in a while. But it happens less and less and that makes him grumpy."

"Angel's given me a few lessons, too," Cordelia announced in a slightly more emphatic tone that was strictly necessary.

"Really? I could go another round if you wanted to practice. I'll even go easy on you."

Cordelia's eyes narrowed dangerously as Buffy handed her Giles' foil.

Buffy faced her opponent with confidence. She felt certain she could bring Cordelia down in no time.

As for Cordelia, she seethed with anger. How dare Buffy think she couldn't hold her own? How dare she assume she could win at everything just because she was the Slayer and had returned from the dead not once, but twice? And what was with the pointers on how to hold her weapon?

Payback time had arrived.

Buffy was surprised when Cordelia began with a savage lunge that nearly disarmed her immediately. What's more, her balance was off. She was used to facing Giles. She knew how to fight a man of his size, and how to handle a left-handed fencer. She found herself a bit at sea against a girl close to her own height who fought right-handed.

Another fierce stab forced Buffy to stumble back a few steps.

Buffy gritted her teeth and went into nearly full Slaymode.

It didn't take Buffy long to regain her lost ground. She no longer underestimated her opponent. Cordelia's attacks were intense, but unfocused.

"Nearly as sloppy as mine," Buffy thought to herself. "No wonder Giles gets snarky about my D'artangon moves. And what's her saga?"

Then there was no time for thought.

The two continued to fight with an intensity that worried Buffy. It took her some time to find a level of response that would win without harming Cordelia.

Buffy made one final attack, her foil flashing wickedly in the air. With her superior reflexes, she was able to disarm Cordelia smoothly and held her own sword at the girls' throat.

For a long moment, the two simply stood panting and glared at one another. At last, Buffy spoke with as much calm as she could muster.

"I'm going to take a shower and then Giles and I are gonna go get some food. When I get back, you and me are gonna have a talk."

She stooped to retrieve Giles' sword. As soon as it was in her hand, she turned and left the room.

*****

3

Notes and Disclaimers in chapter 1

"I don't get it, Giles."

"It's from the episode where Homer acts as Mr. Burns' assistant while Smithers is on holiday."

"No, I saw the episode. I just don't understand what it has to do with the apocalypse," Angel frowned.

Kate regarded Giles with frank confusion.

"You actually watch this show?"

"S-some of the humor is really quite sophisticated," he huffed. "Besides, I like the Bumblebee man."

"Who doesn't?" Lorne asked.

"I kinda like Maggie," Angel confessed.

Kate stared at the men.

"I can't believe you guys. The fate of the world hangs in the balance and you're talking about what cartoon characters you like best?"

Giles shrugged.

"I find that it's sometimes best to allow oneself to appreciate the good things, even when it seems like a silly thing to do."

"Did you learn that from watching The Simpsons?" Angel teased.

"No. From watching Buffy."

The man and the vampire regarded one another. After a moment, Angel flushed and dropped his gaze. Giles seemed to gather himself briefly, and went straight back to work.

Lorne pulled Kate aside almost instantly.

"Wouldn't you just love to get those two doing a duet? There's some serious baggage here, and I'm not talking Samsonite."

Kate nodded.

"It's all about the girl. Too bad."

"I know. Love wasn't meant to have three corners."

"Four."

"Four? What four? I only count three."

"Trust me, Lorne. Four."

"Okay, you're the detective."

Kate shook her head.

"It's not a detective thing. It's a woman thing."

"She must be some woman."

At that moment the door swung open and Buffy strode into the room.

"Giles, we need to talk," she began. Then she noticed Lorne and Kate. She turned to Angel.

"Friends of yours?"

The vampire shifted a bit uncomfortably.

"Buffy. You're back."

"Yeah." The silence lengthened. "You're looking good."

"So are you."

"I bet you say that to all the girls when they rise from the dead."

Angel smiled slightly.

"Not all of them."

He reached out a hesitant hand to take Buffy's. After a moment, she allowed him to hold it briefly.

"Sorry. I just needed to...I wanted to know..."

Buffy smiled softly.

"I understand. You and everybody else. Trust me; I'm back and I'm not going anywhere."

Giles cleared his throat.

"Buffy? You said you needed to speak with me, yes?"

"Yeah, I do. Maybe over that dinner you owe me?"

"You're having dinner with Giles?" Angel asked.

"Yup. Hey, he's gotta eat, I've gotta eat, and I beat him fencing so he gets to pay."

"Y'know, I'm feeling a might peckish myself..." Lorne began.

"Maybe room service?" Kate suggested.

"An excellent suggestion, Ms Lockley. So much more intimate."

"And so much less obvious that I'm having dinner with a demon."

The two strolled, arm in arm, to the girls' room.

"She may not want to show off her date, but I think mine's pretty presentable. Shall we?"

"Presentable, eh? I've been called worse. Come on then, I know an excellent place where we can have a quiet chat without interruption."

"So...I'll see you later, Buffy?"

"Yeah, Angel. We'll talk when my stomach's not so growly. Come on, Giles. Is this place expensive? I think I'm in the mood for expensive food."

Angel stared after the pair as they left.

At last he turned his attention resolutely to the charts Giles had made. If he couldn't go out on the town and take a pretty girl to dinner, at least he could make himself useful. His thoughts were interrupted seconds later by a none too subtle throat clearing in the doorway.

"Breaktime, Broody boy."

Cordelia closed the door behind herself and handed Angel a take out cup. He opened the top and sniffed suspiciously.

"I found a friendly butcher in Chinatown. Oh, and not to worry; no cinnamon this time."

"Thanks."

She stood nervously twisting her fingers for a moment, then inserted one into her mouth.

"Stop it, Cordy."

"I can't!"

"What's the deal? You're so nervous it feels like you're gonna jump out of your skin."

"I'm not nervous - much. So you haven't talked to Buffy, huh?"

"We said hello. Why? Did something happen?"

"Nothing, nothing...except I kinda lost it on her." She sat dejectedly. "Look, maybe I could just stay here with you tonight."

"Where here? Three men, one woman, two beds. Where are you going to sleep?"

"We could send Giles next door."

"Cordy, we can't do that."

"Why not? Kate's there. They'd be chaperoned and Lorne would be here so we'd be chaperoned, not that we really need it or anything, but we would be. Please, Angel?"

*****

Buffy was uncharacteristically quiet until she and Giles had placed their orders and the waitress left the table.

"What is it?"

"What's what?"

Giles looked hard at her over the rims of his glasses. With a sigh, the girl crumbled.

"Okay, okay. Giles, do you think the vision thingies could be making Cordy a bit...y'know...nuts?"

"Nuts?"

"It's just...when you left the gym, she told me Angel had been teaching her to fence, so we decided to have a fight. I just didn't know she meant for real."

She pulled up her left sleeve to reveal a large bandage.

"Good lord, Buffy! Are you alright?"

"I'll live. With Slayer healing it'll hardly show by this time tomorrow. It's pretty much just a scratch. The thing that gets me, though, is I'm sharing a room with Norman Bates, and there's a bathroom in that room, and there's a shower in that bathroom, and I think you can see where I'm going with this."

Giles tugged off his glasses and sighed.

"Buffy, it would hardly be appropriate for us to share a room."

"It's not like I've never spent the night with a guy before."

With that, Giles pulled out his handkerchief and polished the lenses of his spectacles furiously. Buffy reached out and placed her hand over his.

"Stop that, Giles. You'll break them."

His hands stilled, but she left hers in place.

"Look, I know you'd like to think I'm still a kid, but I did something funny: I went and grew up. I know what guys look like, and I've seen guy underwear and stuff without freaking. I can be mature about this."

"Yes, you've grown up. That's precisely why I can't possibly allow this."

Their eyes met. Giles found himself mesmerized by Buffy's expression. He blinked, sending a silent question to her. When she smiled reassuringly, he took her hand. She twined her fingers through his.

"School's out. I want and you want. It'll be okay."

"Buffy..."

"Unless you're going to say yes, I pretty much suggest you stop right there."

Giles let out a mirthless chuckle of frustration.

"As much as I'd like to say yes, I'm afraid I have to say no."

Buffy tugged her hand back and developed an all consuming interest in her breadsticks.

"It's not that I don't want to, Buffy."

"You don't have to pretend, Giles. It's okay."

"I'm not pretending. It's just...you've never given me any indication that you wanted this before."

"No indication? Giles, I've been flirting with you. You've been flirting with me. We've been doing the verbal foreplay thing since way before I died. I just thought maybe it was time we got honest about it."

"And this has nothing to do with Cordelia?"

"I'd be lying if I said this whole thing with her wasn't a darn convenient excuse, but I've really been thinking about this a long time."

"How long?"

"I think maybe Riley knew before I did."

"Well, he could be quite perceptive at times, and you've always had a talent for ignoring what you don't want to see."

"Gee thanks. Has anyone ever told you how crappy you are at sweet talking?"

"As a matter of fact, it's been a recurring theme with virtually every woman I've ever been with."

"And Ethan?"

Giles paled slightly and replaced his glasses.

"Don't be embarrassed. I figured that one out a long time ago."

"Riley's not the only one who can be too bloody perceptive."

"Giles, you told me yourself. Well, not in so many words told me, but Will found in a book that the whole Eyghon raising thing was about orgies and then you told me there were five guys and one girl in the group. Add that Ethan acts like one of Anya's more disturbing stories from her professional past, and well, I can do the math. If you can deal with Angel, I can deal with this."

The conversation was suspended while the waitress brought their meals. After a moment, Giles spoke quietly.

"There's a bit of math you haven't done."

"What? Are you gonna tell me you were getting it on with Randall too?" she teased.

At the wounded look in his eyes, Buffy knew she'd overstepped her boundaries.

"I'm sorry. That was supposed to be a joke. Not funny, huh?"

"No. It wasn't."

She placed a soothing hand on his sleeve.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me if you don't want. And I know what happened to him was an accident."

When Giles grasped her hand briefly and then returned to his food, Buffy gave a small sigh of relief and resumed the conversation.

"So, what's this math I didn't do?"

"There are six people sharing two rooms this weekend."

"Six?"

"Yes, six. It seems that Lorne - that green fellow - and his friend, Kate, work with Angel a good deal."

"So why can't we get a third room and Angel and Lorne can share that?"

"I've already talked to the desk; the hotel's booked solid. There isn't another room to be had for love nor money. So unless you'd like an audience..."

"We can't."

The girl stabbed her chicken savagely.

"This weekend totally bites."

*****

4

Notes and Disclaimers with Chapter 1

Cordelia flung a handfull of popcorn at the tv screen.

"Oh, please! This is supposed to be scary? I've found scarier things at the back of the refrigerator at work!"

Angel shook his head.

"I've met Dracula. He's not anything like this. And the hair, that's just wrong."

"I thought Coppola was into realism."

"Apocalypse Now was good."

"But this just sucks."

Cordelia picked up the remote and flipped the channel.

"You didn't want to watch the rest, did you?"

"No way," Angel snorted. "Maybe we can find a good, mindless comedy."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

Angel looked curiously at Cordelia.

"Hey, I just thought of something: you haven't bitten your nails once since we turned on the tv. Why is that?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's the company"

Angel reddened to the tips of his ears.

"Huh," Cordelia noted, "vampires blush. Who knew?"

"Not too many people. Most vampires are pretty hard to embarrass."

"Hey, if it's embarrassable, I can embarrass it - even me."

"Does this have something to do with you wanting to spend the night in here?"

Cordelia picked up the remote and went channel surfing.

"Stop being Percepto-guy."

"Cordy, would you just tell me what happened?"

The girl dropped the remote to the bedspread and her gaze to her knees.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well I do. You've been on edge for days now. You stomp around the office, you've been chewing on your fingernails constantly, and you nearly reduced Wesley to tears the other day when he forgot it was his turn to clean the coffee pot. What gives? Will you please just talk to me?"

Cordelia stood and began to pace the room.

"And Mr. Percepto runs to his phone booth and poof! He's Clueless Man again."

"Meaning what, Cordy?" Angel took her hands to stop her movements. "And will you just stay in one place? I can't talk to you like this."

"Get your hands off me."

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on. Dammit, Cordelia, I can't watch you self-destruct like this. Don't you have any idea how much I care about you?"

"How much? How much do you care? All you've been able to talk about for days is Buffy. 'I'm going to see Buffy again', 'Gee I hope Buffy's doing alright now she's alive again', 'It'll be so good working with Buffy!' Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! I'm so sick of Buffy!"

Angel shook his head.

"All this is about Buffy?"

"See? There you go again!"

"I don't believe this."

"You and me both. I just....I just wanted you to...to..."

"To what, Cordy?"

She turned her large eyes to his.

"To notice me, Angel. Just once, to see me instead of her."

"Cordy..."

"No, it's okay, Angel," she seemed almost to deflate once her anger had gone. "I know I can't be her. And frankly, with her fashion sense, I don't want to be. I'd just like to be the one who wins for a change."

Angel wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Oh God! It's the brotherly hug of doom. That means the 'I'll always be your friend' speech is on the way next."

"Cordelia..."

"No! Don't say it. I can do it as long as you don't say it."

"Cordelia..."

"I mean, humiliated, yeah, but if you don't say it, I get to keep a little dignity here."

"Cordelia..."

"Please don't say it."

Angel pulled her closer and kissed her hard on the lips. At first, Cordelia was immobilized by shock. Soon, though, she began to kiss him back with everything she had. When he pulled back, Angel took her face in his hands.

"You don't get it, do you, Cordy? There's no competition. What I had with Buffy was something special, but it's over. It has been for a long time. I want to be with you."

"Then that works out, because I want to be with you, too."

"It's just...I can't."

"Can't? Can't wha...oh. Can't that."

"Y'know, with the curse."

"Darn curse."

"You know that if I could..."

"Yeah. If you could."

Cordelia disentangled herself from Angel's arms.

"Maybe I should go to my room now."

"Yeah. Maybe you'd better."

When she reached the door, Cordelia turned around.

"Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you. I just thought maybe you should know."

Before he could reply, she was gone.

*****

Kate brought two drinks back to the table in the darkened corner of the hotel bar.

"Thanks, Dollface. I'll pay for the next round, but you know I can't..."

"Belly up to the bar. I know."

Kate smiled at her boss over her vodka tonic as he took a sip of his Seabreeze.

"So, how is it?"

"Nothing compared to one of yours, but it'll do. So tell me more about this theory of yours."

"Which one? The one where my boss is crazy and I've never been happier?"

Lorne chuckled.

"At least I like the second part of that equation. But then, Mom would agree with you about the first part. No, I was talking about the love...I guess triangle is wrong if there are four corners. Love square?"

"How about a rectangle?"

"Mmmm, because their lives are a wreck and a tangle?"

"You got it."

"So who's the fourth?"

Kate stared at Lorne. She'd never seen him so clueless.

"Cordelia, of course. She's in love with Angel."

"Really? You don't say. Still, it makes a certain twisted sense."

"And Angel may or may not still be in love with Buffy, but Giles definitely is. As for Buffy, I'm not really sure, but I think she's pretty gone on Giles. Then again, there's Angel. I get the idea it was a pretty intense relationship. Plenty of guilt going on there."

"I've never met four people who could get themselves tied into more knots. The emotional contortionism is starting to get to me."

"Leaving you and me as the sane people on this trip."

Lorne shuddered.

"That's one of the scarier concepts I've ever met. So how did you get all this without hearing them sing?"

"Oh, they sing alright. They just don't know it. I saw it plenty of times when I was on the force. You get to know the signs."

"And that's why we make such a terrific team, Katie. Now how do we straighten them all out?"

"I'm not sure we do. I think if anybody does, it kinda has to be them."

Lorne looked disappointed.

"Are you sure? You know meddle is my middle name."

"Pretty sure," Kate laughed.

"Darn." Lorne sipped his drink. "And what about you, blue eyes?"

"What about me?"

"What's a gorgeous girl like you doing with no one to serenade you on a Saturday night?"

Kate blushed slightly.

"Well, I guess most of the guys I meet these days are buying drinks from me. It's a bad idea to date customers."

"What about not customers? You know a few of those."

"None of them seem very interested. In fact, the one I like best, I happen to know for a fact wouldn't be interested in me. I've learned to live with it."

"Such a waste. All that beauty and brains with nobody to do the Barry thing."

"Manilow?"

"Bite your tongue! I meant White."

As the two laughed, a man approached the table with a slight wobble and tapped Kate on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, I'd like to buy you a drink."

Kate stopped laughing.

"Thanks, I've already got one."

"But you could ditch this fruit and spend a little time with me."

"The 'fruit' is my friend. And you're drunk."

The man pulled out his wallet.

"No, really, how much? Whatever he's paying you, I have more."

Before Kate could reply, Lorne was on his feet. He threw his drink in rhe intruders' face.

"The lady is with me. And if you don't want to hear a tribute to Tina Turner outside your window at three in the morning, I suggest you leave her alone."

"What the hell kind of threat is that? You want to fight, fight like a man!"

"Well, usually I'm a singer, not a fighter, but you asked for it."

Lorne lashed out with his fist only to find nothing but empty air due to the fact that Kate had already kidney punched the barfly into submission. She glared at Lorne.

"Of all the stupid, male chauvinistic, idiotic things to do!"

"What? I was protecting your honor."

"I don't need protecting, dammit! I was a cop for ten years and I made detective. I'm not a damsel in distress, and I don't need you or any man to save me; got it?"

She strode off at a furious pace. After a stunned moment, Lorne followed offering apologies all the way.

*****

5

Notes and Disclaimers with Chapter 1

Giles pulled the car to a stop in the parking garage. As he moved to open his door, Buffy placed a hand on his arm.

"Could we just talk a minute first?"

"Of course."

He turned back to the girl, smiling. Buffy found herself feeling unaccountably shy. She blushed and dropped her gaze. Giles reached out and cupped Buffy's cheek.

"Is everything alright?"

The girls' cheek grew warmer as yet more blood suffused it with color. Her hand moved to cover his.

"Everything's perfect, Giles. It's just..."

"Just?"

"Well...you haven't...y'know...yet, and I thought this might be a good time. And I am so bad at this, Giles. God! You must think I'm such a kid."

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers for the first time. The kiss was soft and sweet. It was quickly followed by a second and a third that grew in passion and depth. Finally, Giles drew a somewhat breathless Buffy into the protective circle of his arms.

"Was that what you wanted?" he nuzzled in her ear.

"Mind reader," she teased him.

"A very useful thing to be with you. And you've been known to read mine on occasion, as well."

"Y'know, I think the sweet talk is improving, Giles."

"Buffy, do you think you might do something for me?"

"Anything, Giles," she sighed contentedly.

"Oh to have that on tape," he teased her.

"Hey, it only applies to personal stuff. I reserve the right to make your life hell over the Slaying stuff as per usual."

"Then it's a good thing this is personal. Buffy, if we're to be lovers, do you think you might try calling me 'Rupert'? 'Giles' sounds a bit...wrong under the circumstances."

"Rupert. Rupert," Buffy tried it out. "Your parents were really cold, y'know that?"

"Call it a cultural difference. I've often wondered what on Earth your parents were thinking when they named you."

"Hey! You just admitted we have culture here! Should I be checking to see if you're an impostor?"

"Well, you could do a strip search, but I draw the line at rectal probes, at least for the time being."

Buffy whimpered against his chest.

"At the rate things are going, that'll have to wait until we get home."

"Assuming we can stop the apocalypse."

"That's right, optimism guy; bring up the apocalypse in the middle of our romantic interlude."

She snuggled against him as his arms tightened around her.

"There's another thing I hesitate to bring up, Buffy."

"What's that, G - Rupert. See? I said it. I actually called you Rupert. It might even get easier after a few dozen million times."

He chuckled and kissed the crown of her head.

"Well done, my dear. What I was hesitating to bring up, though, is the fact that it's very late and we're in a rather exposed public place."

"S'okay. I've got Mr. Pointy with me."

"Still..."

"We should go in. I know. I just wish we could do that room sharing thing."

"As do I." He reached out to brush a tendril of hair from her face. "You know I love you, don't you?"

"I know. And you know, too, right? That I love you, I mean."

"I'd rather gotten that impression."

They shared a tender kiss that melted into an embrace. When Buffy pulled back, she reached up to finger his left earlobe.

"Buffy," he breathed.

"Why don't you ever wear an earring anymore?"

"What?"

"I only saw it once, but I kinda liked it when you did. It was sorta sexy."

"If I'd known that, I'd have brought one this weekend."

Buffy met his eyes seriously as she reached up to her own ear and removed one of the studs. With great solemnity, she placed it in Giles' earlobe.

He took her hand with equal seriousness and kissed it gently.

Without another word, the two left the car and headed into the hotel.

*****

Angel stared blankly at the television. It was still on, but he couldn't have said what was playing if anyone had asked. All he could see was his conversation with Cordelia. It replayed over and over in his mind.

If anyone had asked him the day before, he would have said nobody could ever replace Buffy in his heart. He had no idea when Cordelia had taken pride of place. Certainly he had always been fond of her. Even back in Sunnydale he'd admired her strength. Since she'd come to LA, she'd also developed a warmth that had been lacking before. He secretly enjoyed the way she cajoled and badgered him to notice the world around him; to try to understand people as well as merely helping them.

Now he had kissed Cordelia and she had told him she was in love with him. Add to that Buffy's fatal attraction to him and his curse, and Angel had no idea which way to turn.

Buffy? She'd been salvation once upon a time, and his deepest curse as well.

Cordelia? She'd gotten under his skin by degrees without his even knowing it, but to love her was to put her in danger.

But the loneliness was almost more than he could bear.

His attention was caught by a commercial playing on the tv. Cordelia's smiling face appeared looking adoringly at some handsome young actor as they frolicked on the beach.

In the sunshine.

Sunshine.

Something he could never share with her.

Angel groaned and flopped back on the bed. How could he possibly ask Cordelia to give up what little she had left of a normal existence in exchange for a platonic relationship spent in pain and darkness?

A fresh wave of guilt washed over Angel as he thought of how it would hurt Buffy if he turned to another.

With the last of his strength, the vampire picked up the remote and shut off the television as the door opened to admit Giles.

"Doing a bit of research?" Giles asked as he headed toward the bathroom.

"Not really. Giles?"

"Yes?"

He stopped and turned to his roommate.

"How is Buffy? Really?"

"She's perfectly well, Angel. Why do you ask?"

"Nothing...I just...tell me, Giles, does she ever talk about me?"

"What is it you want me to say?"

"Just tell me, please. It's important."

"Alright, then. Yes. She has talked about you a few times, much as she talks about all her friends."

"Friends? So she thinks of me as just a friend now?"

Angel wasn't sure whether to be relieved or hurt.

"What did you expect, Angel? It's been more than two years since you left her. That may not be long in terms of a vampire's existence, but it might have been more time than Buffy had left."

"So she's...moved on?"

Giles bit back a smile.

"Yes, I think it's safe to say she has. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll take a shower."

"You took one just a couple hours ago."

"And now I need another. Excuse me."

"Whatever. Just make sure you leave some hot water for Lorne."

"I don't believe that will be a problem."

He turned and entered the bathroom, still holding his leather jacket at an odd angle in front of himself.

"Giles...? I guess she has moved on."

*****

Cordelia sniffled to herself on the bed. She couldn't believe she wasn't happier now Angel had kissed her. Of course there was the whole curse thing. She'd never understood before how Buffy could be so miserable with a studly boyfriend like Angel. She was beginning to get the frustration involved.

"And she did this for like three years. God, I've only done it for ten minutes and it's driving me up the wall. I wish the PTB would just let him shanshu already. Hasn't he done enough?"

"Haven't you done enough for one night?" Kate shouted as she barged into the room with Lorne skittering after her.

"If you'll just let me explain..."

"What? What did you want to explain? Why you chose tonight to show the first evidence you ever have of having testosterone in your system? Why you decided I'm Jane and big jungleman Tarzan has to save the day?"

"Side issue here: am I Tarzan or was it that drunk?"

With a furious growl Kate picked up the ashtray off the table and hurled it at Lorne. He ducked just in time.

"Hey, slugger! Stop that!"

Kate threw the room service menu, a binder of information on local points of interest, the television remote, and Cordelia's car keys before managing to score a direct hit to Lorne's forehead with a corner of Gideon's Bible.

Red eyes crossed and Lorne wobbled for a moment before he tumbled to the ground.

In a flash, Kate's fury dissipated. Her hands flew to her face in horror.

"Oh my God. What have I done?"

Before she could think clearly enough to plan it, she was on her knees next to her fallen boss.

"Lorne, Lorne, please wake up! I didn't mean it, I swear."

Cordelia joined Kate on the floor.

"Y'know, killing the boss doesn't look good on your resume. You're going to have a tough time finding another job after this."

The door opened again and Buffy entered. She took in the scene with a furrowed brow.

"Um, guys, why is there a demon guy passed out on our bedroom floor?"

"Because Kate whacked him with the New Testament."

"No kidding. Huh. Who knew a Bible would be a good weapon against demons. But wasn't he on our side?"

"It's all my fault," Kate sniffed. "I can't believe I did this."

"You did, all right. Trust me; I was here."

"Um, Cordy, not helping."

Buffy squatted next to Lorne on the floor and examined him briefly.

"I think he's okay. He'll probably have a bump, and he might even have a mild concussion, but he'll live."

"How do you know?" Kate asked tearily.

"I've seen a lot of head injuries in my time. Ooh, look! He's waking up."

Sure enough, the demon had begun to moan and raised one hand to his forehead.

"Okay, can I just say 'ow'? Never mind. Ow!"

Kate threw her arms around his neck and knocked him back to the floor.

"You're really okay! Lorne, I'm so, so sorry. I'll never do it again!"

Knowing a good thing when it fell into his lap, Lorne shushed Kate with his lips. Then he decided a second round would be a good idea. After the third round of shushing, Kate sat back on her heels and stared at her boss.

"You mean...you're not gay?"

"Well, yes, if you mean as in 'merry and', but baby, I'm straight as an arrow."

"Y-you mean all those times you came on to me, you were coming on to me?"

Buffy shot Cordelia a significant look.

"I think we need to find an elsewhere to be while these two have a chat."

"I can't believe it. He's not gay? Dressed like that, and he's not gay?"

"Quit being such a fashion nazi, Cordy. Let's go next door and see what the what is with the guys."

She steered Cordelia out of the room as Lorne shushed Kate again, rather more enthusiastically than before.

*****

6

Notes and Disclaimers with Chapter 1

Angel opened the door to see what all the commotion next door was only to find Buffy and Cordelia approaching his room.

"Could we maybe come in here for a while?" Cordelia asked. "There's sorta something going on in our room."

"What's all the noise, anyway?" Angel asked as he let the girls past him.

"Let's just say I've seen a lot of strange things, but I never thought of Kate as the type to have a demon lover in the literal sense."

"What are you talking about, Cordy?"

"It seems Mr. Green Mojo guy is into girls after all."

"Lorne? And Kate? I didn't see that one coming."

"We were of the surprised, too," Buffy added. "So where's Giles?"

"Taking a shower. Buffy...about Giles...are you...? Has he...? Not that it's any of my business..."

"You're right. It isn't your business."

Cordelia's eyes shifted uncomfortably from one to the other of her companions as her fingernail made its way back into her mouth.

"I know that, Buffy, but...Giles? Are you really sure?"

Buffy sighed.

"Why does this matter so much to you? It's not like there's any way we'd ever be together again."

"If this is because of the curse..."

"No, Angel. It isn't because of the curse. It's because of us. We just don't belong. Not like that."

"But that doesn't mean you should be with him, either."

"Of course it doesn't. Just because I can't be with you doesn't mean I should be with Giles, or anybody at all."

Neither noticed that Giles had returned to the room. He stood by the bathroom door, his brow furrowed with worry at what he was hearing.

"Have you thought about this at all, Buffy? He's so much older and you have different interests and you always fight with him. Why him?"

"Because it's right," she answered simply.

"Right? I don't get it."

"You're not supposed to get it. You're supposed to find someone I don't get it about, either. Isn't that what exes do?"

"Could you at least try to explain?"

Buffy thought for a long moment before speaking again.

"When I met you, I was just a kid. And you came along all mysterious and broody and forbidden...I just ate that up. You never said very much, so I could pretend you were whatever I wanted you to be. I fell in love with a guy I made up and stuck your face on. And I'm kinda thinking you did the same thing. A hundred years alone makes you do the wacky, too. But it doesn't work; putting a real persons' face on what you're looking for. Angel, don't you remember all the fights we had because you didn't do what I expected you to and I didn't act like you expected? It wasn't because we weren't acting like us; it was because we couldn't live up to each others' fantasies."

"But Buffy..."

"No. Let me finish. My train of thought will get all derailed."

"I was just going to ask how you know you're not doing the same thing again."

"I know. I know Giles. He knows me. I know he's grumpy and sarcastic and sorta stuffy. He knows I'm thoughtless and I get tunnel vision and lose track of what's important. We don't read the same books, and he's never listened to a band that recorded anything after 1979, and we hate each other's clothes most of the time, but that's okay. That's all surface stuff. Underneath, we're a lot alike. He gets me and I get him. Sure, it's gonna be a little weird when we get back to good old Sunnyhell and have to tell the gang, but that's okay. We'll deal. This isn't a fantasy, Angel. This is reality and it scares the hell out of me, but it's good. And you can come over here and help me out anytime, Rupert."

Giles pushed off the doorframe and came to Buffy's side.

"I wasn't certain you knew I was here."

"Please. Like you could be in a room and I wouldn't know."

"You've given that impression more than once."

"See? Abuse of sarcasm. Note that I'm not caring about that. I even called you Rupert."

"You're getting rather good at that."

A blissful shout in perfect middle C came through the wall from the next room.

"Somebody's good at something," Cordelia muttered around her fingernail.

Buffy took a determined stance.

"Okay, Cordy, we are going to do something about that bad habit once and for all. We'll give the lovebirds next door a little time to afterglow and then I'm taking you in there for the one sure-fire cure for nail biting."

"What's that?"

"One Buffy Summers extra-impressive manicure."

"A manicure? You think that'll work?"

Buffy shrugged.

"It did when I was a biter. About the time I found out I was the Slayer, I really got into the whole oral fixation thing. Between the Slaying, trouble at school, my parents breaking up, and a serious case of pizza face, I was sorta losing it. I learned to give myself a really great manicure, though, and I got over it."

"Do you have decals?"

"Lots of 'em. They're sort of a requirement in an anti-nail-biting manicure, 'cause they'd be so ishy to accidentally swallow."

The men gulped in unison.

"So, Buffy, not to distract you, but you're really over me?"

"Yes, Angel, I'm really over you. God! Will you get over yourself?"

"I just needed to make sure. And believe me, I'm glad. This means I can move on, too."

He held out his hand to Cordelia.

"I want to find a way to make this work, Cordy. I don't know how, but we'll find a way around the curse if it's the last thing I do."

"Oh, Angel!"

The pair embraced. Buffy and Giles looked dumbstruck at them and then each other.

"Okay, I really don't get his choice."

"Now, Buffy, it isn't up to us."

"I never said it was. It's just weird, is all."

*****

Kate snuggled up to Lorne's green chest and giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"This. You and me."

"You wound me to the core, Katie."

"No, that part wasn't funny. That part was great. In fact, that part was the best I've ever had. No, it's just, who would have thought I'd end up falling for a green guy from another dimension?"

"It's a little strange for me, too, y'know. A pinkish girl with blue eyes and only five toes per foot...let's just say, Mom wouldn't approve."

"Your mom can bite me."

"She probably would, if she ever met you."

The two cuddled silently for a few more minutes. At last, Lorne spoke.

"Look, sweet thing, I'd better put on my pants and skedaddle."

"No, Lorne, don't go." Kate groaned.

He kissed her and pulled her close.

"It's not like I want to, but there's two girls who will want to get some sleep soon, and I'm sleeping in...well, your bed, but it's in their room, too."

"But I don't want this to be over."

"It isn't over. I promise you, I'm not the love 'em and leave 'em type. Yeah, I flirt, but I don't...I never...Kate, I don't know how to tell you this but..."

"Oh. My. God. You were a virgin?!"

"That's about the size of it. Do me a favor and don't spread that one around, will you?"

"Wow. Huh. A virgin. You must be a natural. And don't worry; your secret's safe with me."

*****

7

Notes and Disclaimers with Chapter 1

Half an hour later, all six members of the Apocalypse averting team were gathered in the men's bedroom to discuss strategy. Despite the fact that Buffy and Cordelia were ensconced in a corner of the room making Cordy's ragged fingernails presentable, both girls were fully involved with the planning as well.

"So we're going to a bathhouse in the Castro to find and destroy a donut?"

Kate still couldn't quite grasp the concept.

"Is it a jelly?" Buffy called from her corner.

"It isn't a donut at all," Giles huffed. "It's an ancient artifact of great mystical energy that is merely shaped like a donut."

"So, no jelly."

"No, Buffy, there is no jelly in the blasted thing."

The Slayer smiled.

"Gotcha. So how do I destroy it?"

"With this staff."

Angel pointed to an illustration in a book he'd brought from LA.

"It was made at the same time as the donut...which isn't...a donut. Anyway, we need to find the staff and use it to smash the ring of power before the followers of Dohnohtus can finish the incantation to bring forth their demon lord."

"So all I need is one good whack, right?"

"Precisely, Buffy," Giles agreed. "Otherwise, the world and all the creatures upon it will be destroyed."

"No pressure there."

"The part I don't get is the one in the vision where I saw Homer Simpson with one of those machines from the hospital shows," Cordelia said. "Y'know, that thing where the doctor yells 'clear!' and then the guy on the table usually flatlines?"

Giles sucked thoughtfully on one earpiece of his glasses.

"A defribulator, yes. I'm afraid I don't understand where that fits in, either. We'll just have to be ready for anything, I suppose."

"Well, I don't know about anybody else, but I'm ready for bed," Buffy announced as she screwed that last bottle of nail polish shut. "If I'm going to do the Slaything tomorrow night, I need my shut eye now."

"That's probably best," Giles agreed.

Cordelia shot a significant look to Angel who shifted uncomfortably before speaking.

"Um...Buffy, Giles...you can, y'know, if you want...well...what I mean is..."

"What Mr. Eloquence 2001 is trying to say," Cordelia interrupted, "is if you guys want, Angel and I can go somewhere else and stay up late while you guys...y'know, stay here."

"Are you guys sure?" Buffy asked.

"Well, I don't really sleep well at night," Angel offered.

"And if I'm going to be dating a vampire, I should probably get used to late nights. Anyway, my nails haven't dried."

"W-well...it's a most...generous offer...if...if you're quite certain...?"

"Giles. Breathe." Buffy turned to Cordelia. "We'll take you up on it."

"So, to clarify, does that mean I'm sleeping next door?" Lorne asked.

"Yes, it does," Kate informed him as she took hold of his tie to lead him out of the room.

"Well, as long as we're clear on that. Good night and sweet dreams to anyone who's actually visiting Dreamland tonight."

The pair left the room. Angel hesitated a moment.

"Hey! Angel!" Cordelia scolded him, "Three's a crowd and I need cappuccino if I'm staying up all night."

The girl headed out the door.

"I'll be right there, Cordy." He held out a hand to Giles. "I just...take good care of Buffy, Giles."

"Always. It's what I do."

Giles took the proffered hand briefly.

"Now go on, Angel. Cordelia is not the sort of girl to be left waiting."

The vampire smiled and gave a self-deprecating chuckle.

"No, she's not. Um...Buffy...?"

"Angel," she interrupted. "Go on. Your girlfriend's waiting."

"No, I know that, I was just wondering...how long until her nails dry?"

"By the time she's had her cappuccino. Good luck."

"You too."

Angel headed out the door. At the last moment, he stopped and turned back with a giggle.

"Girlfriend. I have a girlfriend!"

He hurried out to catch up with Cordelia.

As soon as they were alone, Giles moved to Buffy's side and put an arm around her shoulders. She responded by wrapping her arms around his waist and nestling her cheek against his chest.

"Mmmmmm, nice. I could stay like this for, like, ever."

Giles rested his chin on top of Buffy's head and simply held her silently.

At last he spoke.

"Buffy? Would you mind terribly if we...didn't make love, just yet?"

Buffy pulled back slightly and looked up.

"You don't want to?"

"I-it's not that. It's just...well I had no idea this would happen. I thought we were coming here to save the world again, not to have a dirty weekend."

"So this is your ever so suave way of saying you didn't bring any condoms and the drugstores are all closed?"

"I'm sorry."

It's okay. Oddly enough, I wasn't really prepared for this either. We could cuddle, though. Cuddling's good."

She felt a chuckle vibrate through Giles' chest.

"Cuddling's very good."

*****

The next evening, the six met just before sundown.

"Okay, is everybody clear on the plan?" Buffy asked. Four heads nodded their assent. "Angel? Is there a problem?"

"It's just...why do I have to be the one pretending to be a customer?"

"Have you looked at the options? Cordy, Kate and I are all girls. We'd look kinda funny going into a place that's gay guys only. And Lorne is all green and scaly with red horns. Not exactly incognito guy."

"What about Giles?"

"He's older than their usual customers and English which makes him stand out in a crowd. And besides, there's no way I'm sending my boyfriend in there for a bunch of guys to hit on."

"But he looks way gayer than Angel," Cordelia protested. "He's even wearing an earring."

"Be that as it may," Giles reminded her, "Angel is the one with vampire strength and I'm the one who can perform the incantation to find the staff. If we reversed roles, the plan would fall apart. No, we'd best stick with what Buffy has decided."

"Xander was right; Buffy really is Watcher's pet."

"I don't have time for this, Cordy. Angel, are you clear?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah. I'm clear. I get to be the gay guy. The pretend gay guy, that is. I'm just pretending, okay?"

"Okay, testosterone guy. You're pretending. Are we ready?" Buffy locked eyes with Giles. At his slight nod, the group gathered up their equipment and headed out.

*****

8

Notes and Disclaimers with Chapter 1

Buffy, Giles, Cordelia, Kate, and Lorne waited in the alley behind the bathhouse. Giles double checked his bundles of herbs and reread the words of the ritual as they waited. Buffy, Cordelia, and Kate did a few practice swings with their weapons while Lorne warmed up his voice with a few sotto practice trills.

A tense air hung over the little band. Not for the first time, Buffy found herself wishing Xander would happen along with an inappropriate quip, or that Willow would suddenly poof onto the scene with her special brand of rambling optimism. It wasn't that she didn't trust anyone in the group. She just preferred to stick with a team she could predict a bit better.

She felt a pair of eyes on the back of her head, and turned to smile at Giles. Nothing was said, but both returned to their tasks with a renewed sense of purpose.

If the Apocalypse happened and she hadn't gotten into that man's pants, Buffy was going to have a few things to say to the PTB.

All at once, the door swung open and Angel beckoned them in.

"Hurry up. It's cold in this towel."

"Did you have to get that much into character?" Cordelia whimpered.

"They wouldn't let me stay unless I got undressed. Come on. Two guys have already hit on me."

"I'm not surprised, Angel-cakes."

"Don't pull your gay act on me, Lorne. You've been outed, straight guy."

The group filed past the vampire and into the bathhouse.

They came to a halt in the hallway, and Buffy turned to her troops.

"Okay, Giles, you set up here by the door. Kate, you cover him. Remember, if anything happens to Giles, we can't find the staff and all hell breaks loose - literally. Cordy, you're with me. Angel, Lorne, now's the time for that diversion we talked about. Let's do this, people."

With a final glance at Giles, who was already scattering herbs and chanting in Latin, Buffy led Cordelia to the corridor.

"So who's up for a Judy Garland sing along?" Lorne called into the crowd of towel-clad, and less-clad, men.

A stony silence ensued.

"What? Oh, I get it! You boys prefer Barbra Streisand, am I right?"

The men began to advance threateningly.

"Marilyn Monroe?"

Buffy and Cordelia darted away as quickly as they could.

When the first man had almost reached Lorne, he pulled a vicious looking dagger out and sliced the air menacingly a few times.

"Nice knife, buddy, but I *really* don't want to know where you were keeping it."

Lorne backed away slowly, hands in the air.

"You dare to desecrate the hall of Lord Dohnohtus, subcreature?" the man hissed as he raised the knife higher.

Lorne took a deep breath and let loose with a perfect high C that rang through the bathhouse and broke a window across the room. The man stopped, startled by the sudden noise. It was just enough for Angel to pull him back by the throat and force the knife from his hand. Lorne quickly retrieved the weapon.

"Wow. Talk about sweet acoustics! Y'know, if we get through this thing alive, maybe I'll open a second branch of Caritas here."

"Lorne! The knife!"

"Oh, sorry, Angel-cakes."

He handed the blade to the vampire who held it to the attackers' throat. The crowd, which had been advancing, stopped in their tracks. Furtive glances were traded. At last, one man moved to rescue his leader.

Angel let his demon face slide to the fore.

"I really don't think that's a good idea," he informed them casually. "Now, does someone want to take me to the ring of power, or do I have a snack?"

*****

Giles felt the power surge through his veins as the spell reached its climax. The familiar rush of magic filled him, exciting his senses, connecting him with Buffy despite the physical distance between them. As the locator spell showed him the hiding place of the staff, the mind binding spell shared the information with Buffy. At the other end of the corridor, the Slayer gasped and came close to losing her balance.

Cordelia grabbed Buffy by the shoulders.

"Hey! No passing out. Not until we save the world."

"It's okay, Cordy. I'm alright. I know where the staff is now. This way."

She turned to the right and headed up a flight of stairs.

"And Mr. Giles, I had no idea you had such a dirty mind," she muttered to herself.

*****

Angel's captive led him along the corridor until they reached a panel.

"It's behind there," he gritted out. "And may Lord Dohnohtus strike you dead for your impudence."

"Too late," Angel replied. "I'm already dead. Open it."

The vampire kept the knife at his hostage's back as he pressed several seemingly random spots on the panel. When he was done, it slid back to reveal a small room, barely big enough for two humans to stand on either side of a dais. On the dais lay a velvet pillow, and on the pillow, a large pink ring with multi-colored flecks on it. Sure enough, it resembled nothing so much as a glazed donut with sprinkles.

Lorne reached in and grabbed the ring. As he pulled back, Angel pushed his hostage into the tiny room and slid the door shut behind him.

"We really don't need him following us," he explained.

"You're so right. That Lord Dohnohtus act was getting pretty stale."

The two headed back toward the door and Giles' magic circle.

*****

The crowd of near naked - and naked - men closed in on Kate.

"Of all the times not to have a gun," she muttered under her breath.

For some reason Buffy and Giles had insisted that she carry a long pike which she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle in battle. She knew it was because of some magical thing, but what it was didn't much matter to her. She was unfamiliar with her weapon, and Giles was in some sort of trance, so he wouldn't be able to help her if the crowd decided to attack.

Make that when.

Out of the corner of her eye, Kate saw one man make his move. She snapped around and hit him square in the midsection with the pike. As he fell to the floor, another man moved from another angle. Kate reacted with a fierce jab at his leg.

Soon Kate was twirling as quickly as she could to keep up with the attacks from all sides. One managed to grab her arm. Without thought, she bent over and bit his hand, kicking out viciously behind herself at the one who tried to make a break into Giles' circle.

"God, Buffy, hurry," she breathed as she shoved the staff at another five men. "I don't know how long I can keep this up."

*****

"This is it? They keep the sacred donut smashing stick in the utility closet?"

Buffy shrugged.

"Either that or Giles is even kinkier than I thought."

"I so didn't need to hear that," Cordelia shuddered.

"Can I help it if I hear everything that goes through his head with this spell?"

"Can he hear everything you're thinking, too?"

"Yup. And it's official: we're a bad influence on each other."

Buffy tried the doorknob. she was surprised when it opened immediately.

"They don't even lock the door? God, they're as bad as Giles!"

A moment later, a shocked expression flitted across her face.

"What?"

"You don't want to know, Cordy. Suffice to say, I didn't know Giles knew those words. Potty mouth."

Reaching into the closet, Buffy found the staff immediately and pulled it out.

"Okay. We're set. Let's get back, and hope Angel found the donut thingie in time."

The girls turned to head back, when Buffy swayed dangerously.

"Giles," she whispered.

She fell.

*****

Kate could no longer keep up her defense. She threw herself on top of Giles to protect him from the hail of fists and feet that rained down on him. He'd been knocked unconsious, which meant Buffy was at best disoriented, but more likely passed out somewhere herself.

There was no way of knowing whether she'd found the staff in time. Nor did she have any way of knowing whether Angel and Lorne had been succesful in their mission. She prayed that she would see Lorne again before the end.

*****

"This way!"

Angel ducked down a passage that seemed less filled with angry men in an alarming state of undress and pulled Lorne after himself. They made their way through dark tunnels that twisted through the bowels of the building.

"We'll never get back, will we?"

"Don't give up on me now, Lorne. We're almost there."

"How can you tell? We've been so many directions my topsey's all turvey."

"Let me put it this way: you can follow me and trust that I'll get you where you're going, or you can go see if those guys behind us are up for some show tunes yet."

"I'm with you, Angel-cakes."

"And would you stop calling me that? It's annoying."

The two ran on for some yards when Angel stopped suddenly.

"I knew it!" Lorne told him. "You're just as lost as I am. Admit it."

A broad smile spread across Angel's face.

"We're not lost. Look."

He pointed at the ceiling.

"Trapdoor. Leads to the hallway a few feet from where Giles is."

"How do you know that? Vampire senses?"

"No. Blueprints. I've been studying them since we figured out this was the place. Give me a leg up."

"What?"

"Come on. I'm gonna climb on top of you and let myself through. Then I'll pull you up."

"You want me to get down on my hands and knees here? The cleaning lady hasn't been here in decades and this is a custom suit."

"Look, it's the suit or your life. Which will it be?"

The demon hesitated.

"Don't make me tell Kate you chose that tacky outfit over living with her. She'll resurrect you just to kill you."

"Okay, okay. But when all this is over, you owe me another suit."

*****

9

Notes and Disclaimers with Chapter 1

Cordelia grunted as she readjusted Buffy's nearly comatose weight yet again.

"How can you be so heavy? Ally McBeal needs Jenny Craig more than you do!"

"Forget...me...get staff...Giles," Buffy mumbled.

"Yeah, and what's Giles gonna do when he finds out I dropped you in one of these tunnels to be gotten by a bunch of naked gay guys? No way am I telling him that. You're coming with."

*****

Kate couldn't believe her eyes when she saw the first man tumble over onto three of his companions, knocking them to the floor in a tangled heap.

"Hallucinations. Great. I must be about to pass out," she said to herself.

Then another man went down and part of the floor swung up. A head popped out.

"Angel! Oh thank God!"

The vampire took in the situation at a glance. Immediately, he became a whirlwind of feet and fists. With hope renewed, Kate found the strength to kick out at her attackers as well. Soon, she and Angel were surrounded by the wounded and the unconscious.

"Are you okay?"

Kate stretched out a few muscles.

"I'll be pretty bruised tomorrow, but I think I'll live. I'm more worried about Giles. He got hit in the head and he's been passed out ever since."

"I don't think we need to worry too much. Giles and head injuries...he'll be okay."

Kate began to look around the room with worry in her eyes.

"Weren't you with Lorne? Where is he?"

"I'm down here, thanks," came a disembodied voice from below. "and I'd like to get up there pronto, if I could."

Kate and Angel rushed over and helped Lorne up. The demon lost one shoe to the quickest of the men in the tunnel. Kate immediately grabbed her pike and thrust it into the trap repeatedly until Angel found a hammer and nails and shut the door permanently.

"That'll hold 'em for a while."

He met the stares of his companions.

"What?"

"You're not finding things a little, shall we say...drafty?" Lorne asked.

"Huh?"

Kate bit back her laughter.

"Um, Angel, you lost your towel."

Angel looked down. A stunned moment of inaction later, he moved his hands to cover his groin.

"Um...sorry....I don't know where my clothes are."

Lorne took pity on the embarrassed vampire.

"Here, you can wear my jacket until we find you something a little more...more."

Angel handled the jacket gingerly.

"Pink? I don't know..."

"That's not just pink; that's wild rose raw silk and it cost me a bundle. Go on. Nobody here wants that good a look at your goodies."

The vampire shrugged on the offendingly loud jacket. At least Lorne liked a fairly long cut for his jackets. It covered what needed to be covered.

Kate turned her back and tried not to laugh too hard.

"I think I'd better check on Giles. Y'know, make sure he's not as badly hurt as he looks."

"Where are Buffy and Cordelia?"

"We're right here, Angel. And will somebody grab her already? She's a lot heavier than she looks."

"Cordy! Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Got the staff and everything," she told them as Lorne took the unconscious Slayer and placed her next to Giles. "We better hurry up and smash that donut, 'cause there's about a jillion donut worshippers right behind me, and what are you doing dressed like that?"

"Dropped my towel. Lorne, where's the donut?"

"Check the left pocket. Not the breast! Lower."

On the second try, Angel found the ring of power. He placed it on the ground as Cordelia raised the staff.

"Okay. Here goes one donut-smashing stick. Wish me luck, guys."

"Forget about luck," Lorne said, "wish you'd hurry!"

At least two dozen Dohnohtus worshippers emerged from the corridor, screaming curses and threatening bloody vengeance on any who would desecrate the temple.

Cordelia took a deep breath and swung, only to be knocked off her feet. Angel grabbed the man by his leg and swung him off the ground and across the room. He turned to the crowd, demon face in place.

"Anyone else care to mess with my girlfriend?"

The crowd backed off.

Cordelia scrambled to her feet and raised the staff again. This time her aim was true. She brought the stick down with a mighty thwack, destroying the donut of doom.

"Wow. Look at me! Cordy the donut slayer!" she crowed. Nobody joined in her excitement. "What? That was what we came to do, right? Right, guys?"

"Just come here, and don't look behind you."

Angel held out his hand.

"This is not good. In fact, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this is bad. It's gotta be bad if you don't want me to see it."

"Please, Cordy, just come here."

With great trepidation, Cordelia looked over her shoulder.

"Willow?"

"It's not really Willow, Cordy. It's Dohnohtus."

"Oooh, gotcha. So that's why I saw Ned Flanders with devil horns."

"That's right," Dohnohtus told her. "It's always the one you least expect."

"Wait a minute! I smushed your power donut thingie! How come you're here anyway?"

Dohnohtus moved to her followers. She smiled as they flattened themselves in an ecstasy of fear before her.

"You were too late. The ritual to raise me was performed last night."

"Last night? No fair! Wesley said it was tonight. How come they could bring you out early and make the prophecy all wrong?"

"Actually, I believe that Wesley miscalcualted," Giles groaned from where he raised himself to a sitting position. "I knew I should have gone over his figures myself."

"Silence, all of you!" Dohnohtus shouted. "Quake with fear, subcreatures, for tonight you die in hideous, painful ways."

Cordelia shrank back into Angel's arms. Kate took Lorne's hand. Giles pulled Buffy's unconcious form into his lap. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey," she whispered. "Did we do it?"

"Very nearly."

He held her tighter and kissed her forehead.

"Very nearly, love."

"What do you people not understand about the concept of silence?" Dohnohtus roared in a voice that shook the rafters.

The demon in Willow form moved to one of the Dohnohtus worshippers quaking on the floor. She pointed an index finger at him, and a bolt of electricity arced from her finger to his back. A moment later, there was only a charred corpse on the ground.

Dohnohtus shrugged.

"He had hairy shoulders. I don't like that. It just looks so gross."

She turned on the band of heroes.

"And that's another thing I can't stand: do gooders. Insipid, whiny, lily-livered hero wannabes. I mean, look at you! Since when do vampires try to save the world?"

"Since I found a reason to want to live."

"Why? Why do you want this farce of human existance to continue? They smell, they sweat, they fart, they're annoying as hell, and did I mention the farting issue just now?"

"Y'know, you might want to talk to somebody about this farting obsession of yours," Cordelia began. Angel squeezed her hand to silence her. "Or not. Therapy really doesn't work unless the patient wants to be cured, anyway."

"What gives you the right to decide which species should live, and which should die?" Giles asked. "Nobody has that right."

Dohnohtus held up a hand, palm out.

"Talk to the hand, buddy. Better yet, talk to the dodo bird. Oh, wait, you can't do that. Why? Because they're all dead! Human beings killed them all!"

"And for the sins of some misguided men hundreds of years ago, every life on the planet is to be snuffed out? Billions of people to die because some sailors in the seventeenth century didn't understand that the wanton destruction of an entire species was wrong?"

The demon approached Giles menacingly.

"Giles, please," Buffy begged. "Stop pissing off the demon."

"No. I think it's about bloody time somebody stood up to this...this...harridan and made it clear that what it's up to is wrong. We won't let you destroy us."

Dohnohtus laughed, still advancing.

"How are you gonna stop me, little man?"

"Oh, I'm not. I rather think the vampire behind you will, though."

The demon turned to find Angel on the spot.

"I really don't like you, subcreature."

"Yeah, well that makes us even."

Dohnohtus raised a finger to electrocute Angel. As the spark shot at his chest, the vampire hurled a bottle of water at the creature wearing Willow's face. The water met the current in a shower of sparks at the same time as the electric bolt hit Angel in the chest.

The vampire flew back against the opposite wall, where he lay hideously still.

The evil demon lord writhed in agony as it shorted out. It changed form until it appeared as a yellow, lumpy creature with green hair sticking out at odd angles from its head. Despite the charring, the red nose was clearly visible.

"Whew!" Buffy waved her hand in front of her nose. "Somebody in here cut the mother of all cheeses."

"Curious," Giles noted. "It looks just like Krusty the Klown."

Cordelia flew across the room to Angel.

"Oh God, Angel! Please be okay! Please don't be even more dead than you already were!"

She threw her arms around his neck, and buried her face in his chest. Immediately, her tears stopped flowing. She held her head to him for a moment, then raised her face to his in wonder.

"Angel...? When did you get a heartbeat?"

The others hurried over to join the pair. Giles gently moved the girl aside and performed a cursory inspection of Angel. Then he sat back on his heels and tugged off his glasses.

"I don't believe it. He's alive."

Cordelia gave a whoop of joy.

"Shanshu! He shanshued!"

"Um, Cordy, could you maybe say this in English?" Buffy asked.

"The PTB! They said when he'd saved enough people he'd shanshu. He'd get to live like a real, normal person. I guess saving the whole planet full of people was enough to get him his reward."

She threw herself into Angel's arms again.

"Oof!" exclaimed the former vampire. "Ow."

"Hey, Pinocchio. How's my real boy?"

"Huh?"

"Well, at least his mind appears unaffected," Giles observed.

*****

10

Notes and Disclaimers with Chapter 1

Later that night, three couples in three separate rooms savored their victory over evil in their own special ways.

Kate giggled helplessly as Lorne performed a striptease to the tune of Lady Marmalade.

"Hey, you didn't think my body was that amusing last night."

"Oh, it was amusing. It just didn't make me laugh."

The demon flopped onto the bed next to his lover.

"Laugh all you like, honeybunch. It's a nice sound; even when it's directed at me."

"I just wish we could have a repeat performance of last night, but I'm too sore."

"Don't you worry, sweetie, we'll have lots of encores of that. You just rest up and feel better for now."

He leaned over and kissed her.

"I like the sound of that," Kate said. "In fact, it's music to my ears."

*****

"Pass the peanut butter, Cordy."

"What's the magic word?"

"Shanshu."

Cordelia swatted Angel playfully.

"Here you go," she said as she passed the jar. "So how are we going to tell them?"

"Tell who what?"

"Tell Wesley and Gunn about you and shanshu. And you and me."

"Do you think it would be too much to have me just walk into the office in the middle of the day and say I'm going out to get lunch for everybody? And then I do it?"

"You're just never going to get tired of the sun thing, are you?"

"Nope. And there's another thing I'll never get tired of."

"What's that?" Cordelia asked flirtatiously.

"Peanut butter and chocolate together. It's an incredible combination."

In the ensuing play struggle, a large glop of peanut butter and a bit of chocolate syrup landed on Cordelia's chest just above the neckline of her blouse. Angel leaned over and licked it off of her.

"Mmmmm, that's good. See? I'll never get tired of that."

"Is that a fact? I think we should experiment a little bit. Maybe try it on some other body parts."

Angel grinned wolfishly and reached for the spoon.

*****

Buffy stroked the crisp curls on Giles' chest as he dropped kisses across her brow and cheeks. At last his lips moved to capture hers softly. A few kisses later, she snuggled against his chest again listening to his heartbeat slow to its normal pace.

"That was amazing," Buffy purred. "Not quite sure the doc would approve, what with you being minorly concussed and all, but I think it was worth it."

"Well worth it, I would say."

"Rupert? How do you think they'll take this? Us?"

"I should imagine they'd be a bit surprised, at least at first. We'd best be prepared for some disapproval. In the long run, though, I think they'll give us the same sort of support as we've given them in their somewhat...unconventional relationships."

Buffy smiled and planted a kiss in the middle of Giles' chest.

"Was that Gilespeak for 'after bringing home a werewolf, a witch, Cordelia and a vengeance demon, they better mind their own beeswax'?"

"Something like that, yes."

The pair remained silent for a while, basking in the peace of an uncomplicated moment.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"I hesitate to bring this up, but what about Dawn?"

"Dawn." Buffy thought for a moment. "I think Dawn will deal. She likes you, y'know."

"I wasn't sure. She has an annoying tendancy to roll her eyes and make sarcastic remarks in my presence."

"She's fifteen, Giles. She does that with anybody over the age of twenty."

"Except Spike."

"Uh uh. Not going there tonight. I'm officially declaring this bed a Spike-free zone."

Giles chuckled and kissed her lightly.

"You stay right here, love."

Buffy took his arms.

"Where are you going?"

"Not far."

"You're coming right back?"

"Of course."

He kissed the tip of her nose softly. Buffy giggled and released him. As he padded quietly across the room, Buffy enjoyed the view of his firm backside.

"Nice free show!"

"Hmm?" Giles turned. "Oh. Well it would be rather silly to worry about that now when you've already seen everything. Unless..."

He trailed off, his gaze dropping to the floor. In a flash Buffy was beside him, enfolding him in her arms.

"No unlesses here. God, what made you think I wouldn't love every inch of you?"

"I - I...it's just that...Buffy, I'm not twenty anymore..."

"And I've never exactly let you forget that, have I? Look, I was a stupid kid when I met you. I was sixteen and scared to death of what I was supposed to be. I was fighting to live a normal life. I guess if there's one thing I've finally figured out, it's that normal isn't for me. But just because something is weird doesn't always mean it's bad, or ugly. So you're older. So you have wrinkles and scars and grey hairs even in some interesting places. I love you, and that makes you handsome to me."

Giles gripped her a bit tighter.

"Just when I think you can't amaze me any more..."

"Besides, observant guy, didn't you ever notice?"

"Notice what?"

"I only ever called you old and shudderworthy when there was some other girl hitting on you. Even before I thought about this, I knew I didn't want to share you."

She reached up to kiss him.

"Y'know, it's a whole lot easier for me to reach you when we're lying down."

"I'll make it easy in a minute. Now go back to bed. I'll be right there."

"Yes sir, Watcher-mine."

He smiled after her, then turned to the portable stereo he'd brought along on the trip. He inserted a CD, and returned to Buffy's side.

"This song always makes me think of you. It seems appropriate, somehow, to share it with you tonight."

Buffy's jaw dropped.

"What was that you said about amazing people? Giles, this is the Indigo Girls!"

"I listen to a few groups who are still recording."

They lay back and let the music wash over them.

for you

i would tattoo me

with lines crossing into a hand

and a heart that would never bleed

with the twilight

and the horse drawn on my arm

standing for an addiction

pray we go unharmed

Buffy reached out a finger to trace the black mark on Giles' forearm. She frowned slightly, then bent to kiss the tattoo.

here is my love and anger

you see now

these are my gods

these are my scars

here is my love and anger

well these arms are burning

but they're open wide

"Why did you do that?"

some things

i hold too tightly

some things

i'll never

i'll never touch

oh but i'm wearing down the stones

in the river

and you see all my life

i've painted with anger's brush

"Why didn't you ever get it removed?"

now, now could you

lift me through my love and anger

you see now

these are your gods

these are my scars

lift me through my love and anger

ah and my arms are burning

but they're open wide

"What good would it have done? Perhaps I should have it removed now."

oh

you precious kid

i have a motion

and it's just for you

i see a warrior

barefoot and dancing

oh with tears of pain and beauty

and all of this is true

"No." Buffy continued to touch the tattoo. "I think you should leave it."

for you

lift me through my love and anger

you see now these are my gods

these are your scars

lift me through my love and anger

oh and my arms are burning

and they're open wide

"Why?"

Buffy considered.

"When all that happened, it was the first time I knew."

pointing out the graveyards

i will be the reaper

if you will be

the keeper of my heart

"Knew what?"

"That you were a guy. Not just a Watcher, but really a human being. That you'd screwed up just as badly as I had, and you still turned out okay. It made me feel like maybe I'd be okay, too."

"Buffy, you are so very much more than okay."

"You are, too, y'know."

i will be the reaper

if you will be

the keeper of my heart

you are the keeper of this heart

of my heart

*****

Two days later, Cordelia strode into the lobby of the Hyperion Hotel. Wesley looked up from a thick tome and smiled broadly to see her.

"Cordelia! How was San Francisco?"

"Foggy, dangerous, and filled with great stores. I got some really terrific boots."

"And the demon?"

"Angel saved the day! Well, with a little help from Buffy and Giles and everybody. Oh, and you'll never believe this: Lorne isn't gay!"

"You're joking! Really?"

"Not only that, he's dating Kate now. How's that for weird?"

"Oh dear. It might be a sign of impending doom. I'd best check my books..."

"Ha ha. Where's Gunn?"

The man in question came down the stairs.

"Yo, Cordy! Good to see you back, girl. Where's his broody self?"

"Parking the car. Outside. In the street."

Wesley and Gunn shared a confused look as a huge smile spread itself across Cordelia's face.

"How is that possible? It's one thirty in the afternoon," Wesley objected.

Angel walked slowly up to the door, still raising his face to the warmth of the sun.

"That's how, Wesley. Shanshu."

"Shanshu," the Englishman breathed. "I don't believe it."

"What the hell's a shanshu?"asked Gunn. "And why isn't he on fire?"

"Oh, and I know we've never had a policy on this, but you'd better not have a problem with dating in the ranks, because we are."

"Who are? What?" Wesley was confused.

"Angel and me. Dating. In the ranks. No objections allowed, Wes."

"Well, so long as it doesn't affect your work negatively, I see no reason to object."

"Good. Now Angel and I are taking the rest of the day off. He needs less broody clothes if he's going to be seen with me. I wonder how he'd look in purple."

Cordelia raced out of the door and into Angel's waiting arms. He swept her up into his arms and kissed her, then laughed as he deposited her on the ground. Hand in hand, they left the hotel.

*****

"And while Giles kept it talking, Angel came up behind with a water bottle. Then it did the lightening finger trick again, and he threw the water and shorted it out. It was very Wicked Witch of the West, except it didn't melt. It just sort of changed shape until it looked like Krusty the Klown."

The Scoobygang had gathered around the tarot table in the Magic Box to discuss the events of the past few days.

"I'm not sure I like this whole looking like me thing," Willow said. "Why do things that want to destroy the world like to look like me?"

"Because you're so darn non-threatening, Will," Xander answered. "They're figuring anyone that attacks something that looks like you will feel like it's kicking a puppy and back off."

"I still don't like it. And I can be dangerous, too."

"Of course you can, honey," Tara assured her girlfriend. "We all know that, right guys?"

Everybody nodded and agreed.

"So what have you been doing ever since?" Anya asked.

"Huh? Ever since?" Buffy stalled.

"It's been two days since you destroyed the creature, and you just got home today. Where have you been all this time?"

Buffy and Giles looked at one another. A silent question and answer passed between them. Buffy took Giles' hand and took a deep breath.

"We sorta have an announcement to make."

*****

Half an hour later, Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya started home shaking their heads.

"Well that was unexpected," Willow said.

"I know. I was no way expecting that," Xander added.

"But is it really all that surprising?" Tara asked. "I mean with all the strange things we've seen, why shouldn't there be a forbidden donut for real?"

"And hey," Anya added, "at least it worked. Buffy and Giles are finally having orgasms together."

THE END