A battered blue van came to a halt before the wooden sign that announced: Welcome To Sunnydale. The driver climbed out and stood before the sign for a moment. He looked up and down the street as if in search of something. At last he shook his head and got back in the van. Moments after it had turned down a side street, two girls walked past the spot where it had stopped.

"It was hard," the redhead admitted. "I mean, there I was with no working pen in the middle of the lecture where we're being given pretty much everything we need to ace the final, and I wanted so bad to just majick one up for me, but I didn't. No majickal pens for Willow."

"Good for you, Will," the blonde said. "I know it's been hard, going cold turkey, but it's really best this way. And why is it called 'cold turkey' anyway? If you're not using the turkey, why does it matter if it's hot or cold?"

"Beats me. I don't see anything. Are you sure it went this way?"

Buffy shrugged.

"I'm not sure of much of anything. Except that it's getting late and I hate losing a vamp this way."

"Maybe I could try to locate it, y'know? Just this once. In a good cause."

"No, Will. No majicks. You said you wanted to quit, and I'm going to bully you into doing just that."

"But...bad majicks. This is good."

"Will, you've forgotten where the line is. No majicks. Period. You do remember what happened the last time you cast, don't you? If you've forgotten, take a look at Dawn's arm. The cast won't come off for another couple weeks."

"Thanks for throwing that in my face. How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"

"None. We know you're sorry. We accept you're sorry. We're trying to help you. I don't want sorry; I want to know my sister is safe with you."

"Right, 'cause I'm the dangerous one. Y'know what? Find your own vampire. I'm going home."

With that, Willow turned and left, walking swiftly down the street. Buffy watched her go in frustration.

"Will?" she called. "Will! Come back! Dammit!"

She kicked a car parked at the curb. Her foot dented its door.

"Oh, great. Now how do I explain to their insurance company that I did that with my toe?"

"Why explain it at all, Pet?" came a sardonic voice at her side.

"Go away, Spike."

"Oh, not in the mood to play tonight, are we? Come on, it's not as if you've got anything better to do."

"Really? 'Cause I thought maybe tonight I'd count the stripes in my wallpaper. That would be better."

"And you wonder why nobody gives a crap about you! God, you're pathetic! You even drove off junkie Witch girl there. Even she doesn't want to be with you."

"We had a fight. We'll make it up."

Buffy wished she could sound more convinced of that.

"Will you? Well, I'm sure a few hearts and flowers will work with her, just like it has with all your other mates. Speaking of which, what do you hear from Giles, lately?"

"Shut up, Spike," the Slayer growled.

"Oooh, sombody's a might tetchy about that. Hasn't called, has he? Then again, why would he? You weren't good enough to keep Angel, or Parker, or Riley happy, so why would anyone think Rupert would be any happier with you?"

"It's not like that! He...we...I never..."

"Never got a leg over? Just as well. We'd probably have had to bury him the next day. Kitten likes it rough, and the Watcher might break. Pity, though. That would have been a good laugh."

"You want a laugh? Do you? What about Drusilla? You couldn't even keep a psychotic bitch on your leash."

"I wouldn't say that; I got you, don't I?"

With a furious yell, Buffy hurled herself at the vampire. Her fists and feet flew at his face, his chest, his knees in a rapid-fire ballet of violence. Spike returned her fury blow for blow until he had her pinned to the hood of the car she'd dented.

"Told you you had nothing better to do."

"Let me go," the Slayer gritted out.

"Make me," he taunted.

As if compelled, Buffy wrapped her legs around Spike's hips and rubbed herself against him. She could feel how hard the fight had left him. She wrenched one hand free of his grasp and used it to pull down his zipper. A second later, the sound of ripping cloth filled the air, and she was down one more pair of panties.

As Spike stabbed into her, Buffy clawed his back until it bled. The bile rose in her throat as they fucked, hard and viciously. Even as he filled her, Spike hit her until bruises blossomed on her cheek. Giving herself over to the fury, the hatred, Buffy spat in his face.

Anger. Hate. Disgust.

At least she felt something.

*****

The van pulled up in front of a small diner. The driver, a compact, self contained young man, walked into the restaurant and sat at the counter. He ordered a burger and a cup of coffee. The coffee came right away, allowing him a prop until the food arrived. Sitting hunched over his cup of joe at the counter made him feel like a part of the American landscape. What was the name of that painting? The one with all the lonely people sitting miles apart in a diner in the middle of the night? Whatever it was, he was sitting in it.

The clientele was sparse and dejected. Not surprising, considering the abysmal nature of the coffee. If the burger was half this bad, it would be the worst one he'd ever eaten...and that was going some.

He was pulled from his reverie by the sound of a woman's voice.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you move your duffel bag? It's in my way."

"Sorry."

He leaned over and shoved the bag further under the counter so the girl had room to maneuver her wheelchair past him. She regarded it with humor.

"Coming or going?"

"Not sure. Could be some of each."

The girl smiled broadly.

"Well, whichever way you're headed, it looks like you're taking plenty of baggage."

"Enough to get by."

"But not enough for me to get by."

"Still, you seem pretty spry with that thing."

"Practice."

"I can respect that."

"Yeah, but will you respect me in the morning?"

"Depends on what you do tonight."

"What's a nice guy like you doing sitting alone in a dive like this?"

"Oh I'm only here in the flesh. See, in my mind, I'm going to Carolina."

"Please! You are so not the James Taylor type."

"I can't hide anything from you, can I? You saw right through my tangled web of deception."

The girl offered her hand.

"I'm Leah."

"Oz."

"Good thing I'm not named Dorothy, then."

"Or Toto."

"I never liked them. So, Oz, where are you headed?"

He shook his head.

"Like I said; not sure. Could be home, could be the open road. Maybe Cleveland."

"Why Cleveland?"

"Never been there."

"That's as good a reason as any, I guess. Well, good luck, Oz. Oh, and I'd stay out of Kansas if I was you."

"Thanks for the heads up."

He watched as Leah wheeled herself out of the diner. A hint of a smile played about the corners of his lips.

He hoped he'd see her again.

*****

Buffy limped into the house. She tried to avoid talking to Xander and Anya who sat in the living room discussing wedding plans.

"Buff? You okay?"

She started and turned toward her friends' voice.

"Yeah, Xand. Fine."

"No you're not," Anya countered. "You have bruises and cuts on you. And you're limping."

"Yeah, Buff, what happened?"

"Really, guys, it's okay. Just a demon. I took care of it."

"What sort of demon?" Anya asked. "Do we need to research? Will there be more?"

"No, really. There was just the one. Average, garden-variety big bad. Nothing to worry about. How's Dawn?"

"Fine," Xander assured her. "Are you sure about this demon? He won't have any friends coming to his rescue?"

"No. I don't think he has any friends...on this plane of existence. I'm gonna take a shower."

Before her friends could grill her any more, she went up the stairs as quickly as she could go. Xander and Anya shared a worried look.

"What's wrong with her?" Anya asked. "Buffy never used to get injured. Now she seems to be like that at least every few days. And then she lies and says it's nothing."

"I don't know," Xander answered. "There's something big going on, though, and I don't think she's gonna let us in on it."

"So what do we do? I don't want Buffy to die again. It would make us all sad, and I'd need a new bridesmaid."

"She won't die, An. I'm gonna do what I should have done the first time I saw this."

"What's that?"

"I'm calling Giles and getting his British butt back here where it belongs."

"What if he won't come?"

"Buffy's in danger. He'll come."

*****

Part 2

Notes and Disclaimers with Part 1

The water was too hot. It stung Buffy's raw wounds as it pelted down on her.

It could never be hot enough. She still couldn't get warm; couldn't get clean.

Despite the pain, despite the anguish, Buffy remained stony eyed. The residual anger had receded, leaving her empty of emotion.

Until the next time she gave in to the hate.

*****

"Hello?" came a groggy voice on the other end of the line.

"Giles? Xander. Did I wake you up?"

"No, no, I was throwing a garden party at six in the bloody morning."

"Sorry, Giles. I thought it was later...or possibly earlier over there."

"What's happened, Xander?"

The young man hesitated. His mind had been whirling since his conversation with Buffy, and he didn't like the direction it was headed in.

"It's Buffy. Something's hurting her."

"I see, well at least you're being specific. What's hurting her? How?"

"I don't know. All I know is she keeps coming home from patrol with bruises all over and giving us some line about a lonely little demon far from his home dimension who she 'took care of', but keeps on coming back for more."

"Has she described it?"

"No. Nothing. She won't talk. Giles, it's almost like...like she's protecting it or something."

"Are you saying she's letting it hurt her?"

"I don't know what I'm saying. All I know is she won't talk to any of us, and I really don't want to have to recycle that headstone anytime soon."

"It's as bad as that?"

"Please," Xander said softly, "come back. If you don't..."

He didn't have to finish.

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

Giles hung up the phone and crawled out of bed. He was still wearing the shirt he'd had on the day before. At least he'd gotten his trousers off before he'd passed out this time. Sometime in the night, he'd knocked the glass off his nightstand and amber liquid now stained a small patch of carpet.

Ignoring that for the moment, he headed for the shower and turned the taps as high as they would go. As he stood and watched the rivulets of water course down his body, he cursed himself yet again for being so weak. Weak enough to give in to her every bloody whim no matter how insanely dangerous, weak enough to run when her need threatened to drown him, weak enough to crawl into a bottle seeking oblivion because he was so far from her, and now, at last, weak enough to answer her call yet again.

Would he never learn?

*****

The sun shone brightly on UC Sunnydale as one girl walked, and the other rolled her wheelchair, out of class and into the Quad.

"I just don't get it," Willow said sadly shaking her head. "Is it even supposed to be in English?"

"Joyce isn't about sense," Leah told her. "He's about sound. It's all about the music of language."

"Okay, but does it have to be such...jangly music? I don't get it."

"That's because to you words are only about what they say to your head. You're about logic. What do they say to your ear? Your heart?"

"How about the ears in your heart?"

Both girls were startled at the new voice. Leah grinned broadly.

"I don't think you'll find Cleveland here."

"Still a few places around here I haven't seen, either."

Willow found her tongue.

"Oz...?"

Leah looked from one to the other.

"I'm guessing there's some history here?"

"A bit. I wanted to see you, Will."

"Why? Why did you come back?"

"Could we talk?"

"Should I leave you two alone?" Leah asked pointedly.

When neither answered, she blew a frustrated breath.

"When you guys get done talking, I'll be over there."

She rolled herself to a spot beside a stone bench.

"So...you came back to see me?"

"Pretty much."

"Why?"

"I hear stuff on the grapevine. I heard about Buffy. Thought you might want to talk."

"W-what did you hear, exactly? About Buffy?"

"That she died. That she's back."

"Well...sort of...on both counts."

"Did you do it?"

"Which one?"

"The bringing back. I know you'd never kill Buffy."

"Oh, yeah, that, um...yeah. I did. The bringing back. You're right about the not killing Buffy part, I think."

"You think?"

"Well...I wouldn't on purpose. That counts, right?"

"Should you?"

"Kill Buffy? Of course not!"

"No, that's not what I meant. Should you have brought her back?"

"She was dead, Oz. No Slayer. No Buffy. No best friend ever. How could I not bring her back when I knew I could?"

"Okay, I get that. But, was it right?"

Willow's temper flared.

"You sound just like the rest of them! You think I can't handle it, don't you? Well you and Tara and Giles can all have a good laugh now at the arrogant amateur who only raised the best Slayer in history from the dead, and how do you know Leah?"

"Why would I laugh at you, Will? Somehow, I can't see Giles doing that, either."

"No," the girl admitted. "He yelled at me."

"Yelled? Wow. Not often Giles does that."

"So?"

"So...what?"

"Leah. How do you know her?"

"We met last night. I was in her way. She seems cool."

Willow followed his eyes to the spot where Leah sat. She felt an odd twist in the pit of her stomach. The same one she'd felt when Oz had looked at Veruca.

"Yeah...she's in my English Lit class."

Oz nodded.

"Look, I think we need to talk more, but I'm not sure this is the place. Could I come see you? Maybe tonight?"

"O - okay. I live at Buffy's now."

"Cool. Eight thirty?"

"Yeah. That'd be good."

"Great."

"Well...class. I gotta go. Calculus."

"Tonight."

"Tonight."

Willow turned to go. She managed a few paces before she gave in to temptation and turned to look. Oz was already sitting next to Leah on the stone bench. He was actually laughing at something she'd said.

*****

The bell above the door of the Magic Box tinkled merrily as Dawn entered the building. She glared up at the cheerful clarion, headed for the tarot table, dumped her backpack on the floor and rested her elbows on the table and her face in her good hand.

"What's wrong, Dawn?" Anya asked. "Did something happen at school? Are you going to be grumpy and scare the customers away?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine," Anya agreed. "Just don't scare the customers."

With that, the shopkeeper went to sell more merchandise.

"Dawnie?"

"Tara? What are you doing here?"

Tara smiled crookedly and sat next to her young friend.

"I wanted to see you. Is that okay? 'Cause I could come back another time."

"No, it's okay. It's just Willow's gonna be here soon."

"I know. I won't stay long."

"Of course not."

"Dawn, you understand, don't you? Why I had to leave?"

"Sure."

"I know you want this to be fixed, but sometimes it isn't that easy."

"No. It's okay," Dawn told her stubbornly. "You don't love Willow anymore just because she did some magic. She told me. Finally."

"Sh - she said that?"

Dawn shrugged.

"Pretty much. I don't get it, Tara. How can you just walk away from someone you claim you love?"

"I do love Willow. But I had to walk away. You don't know what she did to me. To Buffy. To all of us."

"I know she's got a problem, but you don't fix it by just leaving. I need some air."

Dawn grabbed her pack and swept out of the shop. Tara sat and looked miserably at her hands. A moment later, Anya sat beside her.

"Well, that was ironic," the former demon observed. "But she may have had a point until she ruined it by stomping off."

"Not you, too, Anya."

"Not that I don't think Willow needs to be punished for what she did. If I'd still had my powers when this happened, you could have wished that she was turned into a toad or something. Except, she could have wished that about you, too. Scorning is a complicated issue among lesbian couples. No penis. No clear cut bad guy."

"Willow is sick. She needs help."

"Buffy's helping her. Though I think that's sort of a case of the blind leading the blind."

"I thought she was getting better. Dealing."

"Sure, if you call never talking to her friends and letting something beat her up getting better. And letting Dawn spend all her time with sick Willow. I think that's a bad influence."

"What about you and Xander?"

"Right. We should step in and get yelled at when none of this is our fault? We have jobs, and are planning a wedding, and fight evil every night just like Buffy, except we don't have superpowers. There's only so much we can do. We try to help Willow, and she gets mad at us and says we don't trust her, which we really don't right now, but that's beside the point, and we watch Dawn while Buffy takes Willow patrolling and neither of them gets home until almost morning and then they aren't together anymore, and I do my best to make Dawn do her homework when she gets here after school, but she still doesn't like me and Xander takes her side and it's just not fair! It's too much."

By the time she'd finished, Anya's eyes were filled with tears.

"I'm sorry," Tara said. "I - I didn't know it was like that."

"Well it is. And it shouldn't be."

"No, you're right. It shouldn't."

*****

"Would you like something to drink, sir?"

Giles bit back his automatic urge to ask for scotch. He would be no good to Buffy if he was drunk when he arrived in Sunnydale. Bloody Sunnydale. Home of dancing demons and disabled vampires. The site of so many defeats, and so few clear cut victories. The place stank of failure. Or was it the place at all? Giles was dragged from his funk by the repeated question.

"Sir? Did you want anything?"

A gun to blow my bloody brains out, he thought, even as he managed a far less alarming request.

"Tea, please."

He shifted in the narrow seat once again, unsuccessfully attempting to find room for his long legs. Airline seats were all built for anorexic midgets, he decided. Never again, he swore, would he get on a transatlantic flight whilst hungover. Next time, he'd be dead drunk.

*****

Part 3

Notes and Disclaimers with Part 1

Willow smoothed her skirt nervously. 8:25. Oz would be there any minute. Of course he was only showing up so he could tell her that she wasn't smart enough or strong enough to handle majicks. Willow was sick of the chorus. Giles, Tara, Xander, even Buffy had told her she wasn't up to it.

Yeah, like Buffy had any business telling anyone how to deal with their lives.

But to Buffy, Willow would always be the sidekick; second best.

At least she'd always come first to Oz. He'd never judged her. Maybe he was coming to tell her he believed in her when nobody else did. Yeah. That's it. He hadn't told her she was wrong when they met earlier. He'd asked her if she was right. Whole different deal.

Probably he was coming to offer her handy tips for making sure stuff didn't get out of hand again, like his wolfy side. And she could still help Buffy out with the majicks. Or maybe get out from Buffy's shadow and do good on her own somewhere.

To hell with being a sidekick!

That's for suckers.

Willow Rosenburg was not a sucker.

No siree.

Oz was coming and he'd help her smooth out the couple of rough edges she had left.

Then everybody would see.

She'd make them see.

*****

Xander stared at the gate, unsure what his first reaction to Giles would be. Part of him wanted to be adult and shake his hand, ask him how England had been and deal in a businesslike manner. Another part of him wanted to kick Giles for leaving in the first place when Buffy was already so fragile. He swallowed the anger as best he could.

I'm not my father, he reminded himself. I'm not like him.

He craned his neck as the passengers began to emerge from Customs. After a moment, he realized he was holding his breath. Another moment and he remembered to let it out.

At last, Xander spotted the familiar figure, and found there was a third possible reaction he hadn't counted on.

He ran to Giles, hugged him, and burst into tears on his shoulder.

*****

Dawn knocked timidly on Buffy's bedroom door. She waited a long time for her sister to let her in.

"What's up?" Buffy asked, her face the carefully blank mask Dawn had grown used to in the past weeks.

"I sorta got in trouble today."

She handed Buffy a note from one of her teachers.

"It's totally not my fault."

"Dawn, this says you got into a fight. It says it's the third one this week. Can't you avoid fights?"

"Look who's talking" Dawn grumbled as she folded her arms across her chest. "How many of these notes did Mom have to answer when you were in school?"

"That was different. I'm the Slayer. I didn't have a choice when demons decided to grab a snack on campus. What's your excuse?"

"Sure. Play the Slayer card again. You know, not everything in life is about you and vampires and stuff."

"I know that..."

"You sure about that?"

"Why were you fighting? What was so damn important that you had to hit someone? There's no excuse for that."

"Really? Well, I guess you would know 'cause hey, that's all you do is hit and slay and nothing else exists, does it?"

Dawn turned to leave. Buffy grabbed her arm.

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Let go! You're hurting me!"

As Dawn wrenched her arm from her sister's suddenly nerveless fingers, she saw a new expression on Buffy's face: horror.

At least it made a change.

"That's all you're good for now, isn't it?" Dawn raged. "Just for hurting stuff!"

She turned and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Buffy stared at her hand for a long moment before the mask slid back into place.

*****

Giles steered Xander to a coffee bar and sat him down. It was an automatic reaction. Take care of Xander. Take care of everybody else. He ignored the petulant voice in his head that asked when in the hell somebody was going to take care of Giles.

"I'll get you a drink. Don't move."

Xander nodded wearily and slumped at the table. Giles was thankful the tears were over for now. For all his sensitivity, Xander was still a man who seldom lost control of his emotions. If he was crying, things were bad - perhaps even worse than he'd intimated over the phone.

For a moment, Giles' heart constricted painfully. What if Xander's fears for Buffy had been acted on too late? What if she was already...no. He couldn't think that. That would mean he'd failed yet again. That would be one failure too many. One loss too great. It was bad enough he'd had to leave her. At least he'd left her alive.

At last his order was filled and he brought the two steaming cups to the table where he'd left Xander.

"Here you are," he said as brightly as he could manage.

Xander forced a wan smile as he looked at the Styrofoam cup.

"Tea. Just the ticket. What is it with you English types and this stuff?"

"It gives us something to do with our hands in a crisis."

Xander nodded.

"Beats actual emoting, I guess."

Giles stared into his cup without attempting to drink its contents. He looked to see Xander doing the same across the table.

"Tell me," the older man said quietly.

"Not much to tell, except what I already said on the phone. Giles, I know we screwed up bringing her back. Will was so sure...and it was easier to agree with her than ask any questions. I just...I thought things would be better, y'know, with her here. But now I don't know anymore. I feel like I'm watching her die again every day, except it's never over now. And Anya and I try, but we can't get through to her. Okay, so maybe Anya's not so good at this sort of stuff, but she's doing her best. I know it's not exactly my strong point, either, but there's no one else."

"What do you mean, no one else? What of Willow? Or Tara?"

"Will. What about Willow?" Xander laughed mirthlessly. "If there's one person on this planet as messed up as Buffy right now, it's Will. Tara moved out the same night you left. Some spell Will cast after she promised she wouldn't. And then came the de-ratting of Amy, and a whole bunch of craziness that ended with Dawn getting her arm broken."

"Willow hurt Dawn?"

"Not on purpose. It was an accident. Still. And Buffy still decided to help her. Willow. She's going cold turkey on the magic. It's going pretty well, I think, but she's having a rough time with it. Detox isn't pretty."

"No, it certainly isn't."

"You've seen it before?"

"Yes, I have."

Giles met Xander's eye uncomfortably.

"I know you don't want to hear this, Xander, but things will likely get a deal worse before they get better. Now tell me about Buffy."

Xander couldn't repress a rueful smile.

"She misses you, too, big guy. She's just too macho to say."

"Xander, will you please tell me what's going on?"

"I would if I could. Buffy doesn't talk to us more than she has to. It's weird. Will's the one, really, who she should be maddest at - not that I'm saying the rest of us were right or anything, just it was all Will's idea and she didn't tell any of us what the spell involved - but she won't talk to me or Anya or Tara if she can help it, but she's doing this whole holding Willow's hand while she straightens herself out. It's like Will's pretty much the only person she can see right now."

"And Dawn?"

"It's hard to raise a teenager. Look at all the trouble you had with us and we had actual parents to take us off your hands at the end of the day. Okay, so Buffy was the only one with a good parent, and she only really had one, but there was someone at home to deal with any crap you didn't want to. Dawn only has Buffy, who's too screwed up right now to take care of herself, and is trying to take care of Willow. You see where I'm going with this, don't you?"

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Gee, sorry we didn't tell you what was going on after you decided to wash your hands of us all. Maybe it was something about the way you snuck off - again."

Giles flushed and inspected the contents of his cup. Xander's eyes widened at his own temerity.

"I'm sorry, Giles. I guess I have a few issues myself right now. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, no, I probably deserved it."

An awkward silence grew between the two men. At last Giles cleared his throat and began again.

"You said something was hurting Buffy. Do you know any more about it?"

Xander shook his head as he toyed with his tea.

"Like I said, she won't talk. How do you help someone if they won't say what's wrong?"

Again the silence stretched out between them. This time it was Xander who broke it.

"Tea's cold. I guess we can dump it and head for my place."

He cleared the cups from the table as Giles gathered his bags.

*****

Part 4

Notes and Disclaimers with Part 1

8:29.

Almost time.

Willow tried to calm her nerves with a few deep breaths, but the butterflies kept up their flight formations in her gut.

She looked around the room and groaned inwardly at the number of take out cartons left scattered from the night before. Too late to clean up properly. Buffy had already left for patrol, though, and nobody else was home.

If nobody was there to see, it wouldn't matter if she did just one little spell, would it? And only so it wouldn't look like she and Buffy couldn't handle things on their own. It would be a good thing, really.

No more majicks after that.

She still looked furtively around the room before saying the few simple words of the incantation.

That was better! The room was clean, and nobody the wiser.

"Can't handle the power, my ass," she muttered defiantly to nobody in particular.

Willow startled slightly at the quiet knock on the door. One more quick breath, and she crossed to let Oz in.

"Hey," he said quietly as he entered the room.

"Hey."

Oz looked around himself as he entered the living room.

"Buffy here?"

"No. Patrol."

"Dawn?"

"Movies with Anya."

"Joyce?"

Willow's eyes went wide.

"You didn't hear? She died. Almost a year ago."

"No, I hadn't heard. That must be hard on Buffy. Joyce was a good person."

"Yeah. We all miss her."

"I was hoping I'd see her."

"We could go to her grave, maybe. Take flowers?"

"Yeah. That'd be good. Tomorrow, maybe. When it's light."

"Sure."

"So what else don't I know? How's Giles?"

"He's in England."

"What? Powwow with the Council?"

"No. Gone home."

Oz puzzled for a moment.

"But Buffy's back, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then what's Giles doing in England?"

Willow shrugged.

"Deserting us. Living the life of a swinging bachelor who doesn't have to worry about Hellmouths and stuff even if he is getting a paycheck for Watching Buffy."

"I thought he was fired."

"Oh, he was re-hired when Buffy made the Council shut up and work for her. It was pretty awesome."

"Things have certainly changed."

"Well, that's how it is around here. Gone for a couple weeks and there's no telling what'll happen. Leave for a year and a half and nothing's the same."

"Yeah, I'm figuring that out."

*****

"That was a very wholesome movie, wasn't it?" Anya encouraged her companion.

Dawn rolled her eyes.

"I don't know why you insisted on seeing Harry Potter."

"It's a good movie for children. Very wholesome. The book is popular with your age group."

"Yeah, wholesome. Just what I look for in entertainment. It was totally lame."

Anya frowned.

"Lame? I don't understand. It had many entertaining elements. Okay, so we know trolls don't really look like that, and nobody who's anybody uses wands anymore, but it wasn't bad other than that. The Quidditch match looked fun."

"It was so bogus. And I wanted to slap Hermione."

"Well, I liked it."

"Next time, can we at least see something rated R?"

"You shouldn't be seeing such advanced films. Perhaps next time we could see Monsters, Inc. The monsters in that are funny."

"Yeah, just like the ones we see every day. Look, Anya, I know you don't really like me and you're only doing this so you and Xander can feel like someone's taking care of me, but I don't need it. I'm not a little kid. I can take care of myself."

"Like you did at Halloween?"

"I would have been fine."

"You were only fine because Buffy and Spike and Giles came and saved your butt."

"I dusted one of them."

"And they dusted the other I don't know how many others. I know there were more than three. You and your little friend would have been incinerated bread without your sister."

"Incinerated bread? Do you mean toast? God, when are you going to learn to talk like a normal person?"

"Fine. Make fun of the way I speak. But you should listen to what I say."

"Why? Because you'll tell Buffy? Like she gives a shit."

"Dawn! You shouldn't use language like that."

"Oh, I forgot I'm just a delicate little baby and babies don't know dirty words, do they?"

"Fine. Go ahead. Act like that. See if I care. Maybe we shouldn't go to the movies together anymore. And I was going to buy you an ice cream sundae, but now maybe I think I'll take you home."

Anya's chin wobbled as she unlocked the car and opened the door for Dawn. The teenager slumped into her seat and slid down as far as she could.

"Fine. I don't want ice cream anyway."

*****

Xander unlocked the door of his apartment and let Giles in.

"Home, sweet home, huh Giles?"

"Indeed."

"Sorry the couch is sorta lumpy and short. We're saving up to get something nicer, maybe after the wedding."

"I'm sure it will be perfectly fine for tonight. I'll find a hotel in the morning."

"Stay as long as you like. I mean it."

Giles flashed a lightning quick smile.

"Thank you. But I imagine Anya will want her privacy as soon as possible."

"Oh, so you've met my demon?"

"Once or twice."

The two men sat and regarded one another silently for a minute. At last Giles began cautiously.

"There's one name you haven't mentioned yet."

"Which one would that be?"

"Spike. Where is he in all this?"

Xander shrugged.

"I really don't know. I've hardly seen him since you left. It's funny, for a little while, Buffy seemed to be talking to him. I was worried that they might...you know...maybe...get together."

"I'd had the same thought, I must admit."

"But at least she hasn't sunk that low."

"Thank goodness for that."

*****

"Let go of me," Buffy begged.

"Not until I get what we both want," Spike leered.

"No."

"Oh come on! Why does it always have to be a sodding production number with you? 'Oh, I couldn't, seeing as I'm so bloody virginal and pure and you're a bad, bad creature of the night'," he taunted her. "You know you're gonna give in. You know I'm the only one who wants you at all. Now are you gonna quit stalling, or do I need to bite you?"

Buffy's eyes flashed with fury.

"You try it and you'll fit in an ashtray."

Spike released one wrist long enough to slap Buffy across the face and rip her blouse until one breast was exposed.

"I could bite you there. Be a new experience for you, wouldn't it? Neck's been pretty well used up. I like my feeding ground fresh."

When he bent to bite the puckered nipple, Spike suddenly groaned and crumpled to the ground. Buffy pulled her knee from the vampire's groin and shoved her cross into his face. It seared the flesh of his cheek in the instant she held it to him.

"I said no, dammit."

"How could you do that," Spike whimpered as his human face returned to the fore. "You know I love you and you won't sodding give me a break."

Buffy turned and ran all the way home.

*****

Willow searched Oz's face for any clue as to how he was reacting to her story. Her seriously abridged story. She was frustrated when she found she had no idea what was going on in his head. She'd forgotten just how much she'd never liked that about him.

"And that's when Tara left?"

"Just because I did a spell."

"Okay, you did a spell, but you also broke a promise."

"I should have known you were going to take her side."

"It's not about sides, Will. You agreed no majicks for a week and you didn't even last a day. There aren't any sides to that."

"But it was something good. Or it was supposed to be."

Oz shook his head.

"Doesn't matter. You told her one thing and you did something else. That's not the Willow I remember."

"Gee, I guess I can't be a saint twenty four seven. Sorry."

"Oh, you were never a saint. But you used to be honest with yourself. And you used to be able to get through the day without a spell."

"I can get through the day without a spell. I can get through lots of days without spells."

"When did you last cast?"

Willow flushed to the roots of her hair.

"It was today, wasn't it?"

"What if it was?"

Her mouth hardened in a stubborn line.

"Will, I'm not here to judge you. Your majick is like my wolf side. It's powerful, and it doesn't go away. But you can learn to be its master. It doesn't have to control you."

"Right. All I have to do is give it up. Isn't that what you're saying?"

"It's not something you can give up."

"But...but I can shove it down into the background and never use it again? I can go back to being nobody? Just plain old Willow who nobody notices."

"I noticed you. So did Buffy and Xander and Giles. You were never plain, Willow. You were special."

"And you left. You slept with Veruca and you left me."

"I came back."

"Yeah, and tried to kill my girlfriend."

"That wasn't me; it was the wolf. And I'm here now."

"So I guess it's because you heard Tara was gone and you wanted another chance with me?"

Oz shook his head.

"No. That's long past over. We can't go back, Will. I'm here because I thought you might need a hand moving forward."

"Don't lie to me, Oz."

"I can see this is going nowhere fast. Look, I'm going now, but I'm leaving this," he pulled out a packet and left it on the coffee table. "It's some incense and some information on some meditations that helped me. If you want the help, cool. If not, don't open it. Either way, I'll come back tomorrow. You let me know what you want then."

He stood and headed for the door.

"Oz wait!"

He stopped and looked expectantly at her. She stood nervously twisting her fingers together.

"I - I - it's good to see you again," she finished lamely.

One corner of his mouth flickered upward.

"You too, Will."

He headed out the door.

*****

Anya pulled the car to a stop outside Buffy's house. When she moved to unbuckle her seatbelt, Dawn rolled her eyes.

"I think I can make it to the door by myself."

"I need to make sure someone is there. Buffy might still be out on patrol."

"Willow was staying home tonight. Something about seeing an old friend."

"Willow has old friends?"

"You don't need to sound so surprised."

"No, I just meant, if this person is an old friend of Willow's, it must be someone Xander knows. I'm expressing surprise and mortification that we weren't invited. We should have been invited."

"Well, you weren't. Can I just go now?"

"Fine," Anya retorted. "I hope you and your sister will be very happy with Willow. At this rate, she'll be the only person you have left soon."

"Suits me fine."

Dawn glared at Anya one last time before getting out of the car. She stood and watched pointedly until Anya gave up waiting for her to mount the steps and drove off. As soon as Anya was gone, Dawn climbed the lattice next to the porch and crawled into her window. She curled up on the bed in the darkened room and cried silently.

*****

Buffy let herself in the backdoor as quietly as possible. She double checked that her jacket was completely fastened in case anyone saw her before she made it up the stairs.

A glance to the living room showed that Willow was there, but not paying any attention to her surroundings. The redhead stared out the window blankly.

Buffy tiptoed up the stairs and to her room. As she closed the door behind her, she gave a small sigh. She told herself it was relief that neither Dawn nor Willow would see what she'd made Spike do.

She stuffed her ravaged blouse to the bottom of the trashcan, got into a pair of fresh pajamas, hugged Mr. Gordo to her breast and lay awake for hours.

*****

Part 5

Notes and Disclamers with Part 1

Oz settled himself at the counter and ordered a cup of coffee. He had a lot to think about. He'd assumed Willow would resist his help a bit, at first. What he hadn't been prepared for was the waves of self pity and resentment that had pummeled him the entire time he was there.

Or the way it had affected him so that he had to leave.

He took a subtle glance at his hands to make absolutely certain that they were still hands. No extra hair. No claws. He took a relieved sip of coffee and grimaced slightly.

"You really ordered that coffee two nights running? Most people learn after the first cup."

He turned and smiled at Leah.

"Somehow, I don't remember you being this tall last time," he mused.

"I've been told I grow on people," she deadpanned. "But seriously, I've been standing a while, and it's getting a little old. Why don't we go sit in that booth in the back and you can tell me what your sick fixation with the java here is all about."

Oz picked up his cup and headed for the booth Leah had indicated. She followed him, sat down on the edge of the seat, pulled the crutches from her arms and settled in to talk.

"So I guess you don't need the chair all the time?"

"Good guess."

"Well, I've always been good with guessing games."

"And there was that big old honking clue tonight. With the crutches."

"I'd say more blinking, like neon. Honking...that's a goose."

She fixed him with a bemused look.

"It's okay to ask, you know."

"Ah, but that would take all the mystery away."

"Well, you get a choice tonight. You can ask the questions, or you can answer them. Which is it going to be?"

"I'll take the box."

"And I'd like to buy a vowel, Vanna."

Oz stared down at his coffee.

"I'm not in much of a sharing mood tonight."

"So I'm guessing things didn't go so well with Willow?"

"You could say that."

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think it's you. You did know she's into girls now, right?"

Oz nodded.

"Kinda got that a while ago."

"So stop trying, already. Time to move on."

"That's not what this is about."

"Then what is it about?"

"It's a long story."

"I got nowhere to be."

"You might not believe some of it."

"Try me. I've been told I'm very gullible."

Oz looked hard at his companion for a long moment. Leah felt she could almost see the calculations going on in his mind.

"Oz, you can trust me. Anything you tell me tonight is going nowhere."

At last, he nodded and began.

"Did you ever watch movies about vampires and stuff and think: I wonder if it's real?"

*****

"Sorry about the sheets; they're the only ones I have that aren't on the bed or in the laundry."

"No, no, they're perfectly fine, Xander. The last time I stayed at Buffy's I spent my night surrounded by pink and lavender butterflies. I'm sure Jar Jar Binks is infinitely more manly."

He placed the pillow on the couch. A moment later, the door flew open and Anya stomped into the room, grumbling under her breath.

"Hello, Anya," Giles said quietly.

A second later, he found his arms pinned to his side when Anya flung her arms around him.

"Giles! You're back! Now everything will be better."

He smiled down affectionately at the former demon.

"It's good to see you, Anya."

She looked up from his chest.

"But the shop is still mine. You signed papers."

"Yes, I did," he agreed as he patiently extricated himself from Anya's grasp.

"But you'll make Buffy better, right?"

"If I can."

"Of course he will, An," Xander assured her. "A good shot of Giles is just what the doctor ordered for the Buffster. Everything's going to be fine now."

*****

When Oz finished his story, he was surprised at how calmly Leah had taken it all.

"So you're a werewolf?"

"The real deal. Not to be confused with Michael J. Fox."

"And Willow's a witch?"

"Yeah. I know, hard to believe."

"Actually, I was gonna say it makes sense of some stuff."

"Cool. That's what I said when I found out. About vampires and stuff."

"Oh, I already knew about the vampire thing."

"How?"

In lieu of a verbal answer, Leah pulled down the neck of her turtleneck sweater. At the base of her throat, there sat a distinctive scar. Oz had seen it on Willow's neck, and Buffy's.

"Oh. That's how."

"It was about three years ago. I was coming out of The Bronze and this guy stopped me and asked the time. Next thing I knew, he was giving me something I knew was not the sort of hickey I wanted. Then, he was dust."

Oz smiled slightly.

"Let me guess. Short blonde, deadly with a pun."

"Actually, tall brunette. I know there was a shoulder in there under all the chip."

"Her name's Faith."

"Well, whoever she was, she saved my life."

"Then she did something worthwhile."

"Okay. I'm guessing there's another story there."

"Long one. Not telling it tonight."

Leah looked sharply at him.

"Y'know, Oz, not all scars are on the outside. The ones on the inside can be harder to heal."

"I get the feeling you speak from experience."

"Everybody looks at me and sees I'm disabled. They see the wheelchair or the crutches and they say: 'isn't that sad; that poor girl can't walk'. But that's just a little piece of me. I get around alright, and there's lots of stuff I can do just fine. And you know what the really sad part is? It's not my legs, I can tell you that. It's how people think my legs are what matter most. The way they assume it means my brain doesn't work either. It's the way they decide I don't have normal human needs and desires. It took me a long time to decide I didn't have to be defined by their terms, and even longer to make it stop hurting all the time that all most people see is the chair. So, scar tissue. I've got it on the inside, too."

"So, you're not hurting?"

"Don't you get it, Oz? Everybody's hurting. Everybody's broken. It's how you deal that makes you who you are."

*****

Dawn stumbled down the stairs and followed the scent of cooking to the kitchen. When she got there, she rubbed her eyes.

"So, am I still dreaming, or what?"

Tara turned and smiled at her.

"Good morning, Dawn. Do you want your pancakes round or funny shaped today?"

"What makes you so sure I want pancakes?"

"Well, I guess you don't have to want them, but I already started cooking them. It would be silly to waste the batter."

"So this makes it all better now? You appear out of thin air and make pancakes and we're all just one happy family again?"

"Of course not, Dawn. I just thought about what you said yesterday, about how nothing gets fixed if we don't try, and I realized you were right. So I came over to make breakfast. Maybe talk to Willow."

"Are you gonna get back together with her?"

"I can't answer that right now. I don't know if what we had can be fixed. But I'm here and willing to try. First steps."

Dawn looked carefully away.

"Funny shapes. They should match us."

"Funny shapes it is."

*****

It was past noon by the time Giles got to Buffy's door. He'd spent the morning doing everything he could think of to put off this meeting. He'd slept late, had an extra cup of tea at breakfast, grilled Xander mercilessly about the situation in Sunnydale, and then repeated all the same questions to Anya. At last, there was no acceptable excuse left.

He hated the questions he was going to have to ask Buffy. He didn't want to see the blank eyes that had driven him across the ocean in the first place.

When Giles thought of Buffy, his first image was of a bright, beautiful girl vibrant with energy and affection. The girl who had defied destiny to be a cheerleader, the girl who had told him flippantly to beep her if the Apocalypse came ahead of schedule, the girl who had reached down into her heart to find some understanding for her stuffy old Watcher when it turned out he had an actual past after all.

Over the years, she had never stopped surprising him. She had never stopped delighting and aggravating him with her quirky worldview and her refusal to bend knee to fate.

To see her turn from the brave, bright, infuriating young woman he'd so loved and admired into a defensive, lost, hollow shell of her former self had been too much. Her need had nearly swallowed him whole, too.

Now he stood at her door once again, wondering what the hell he could do that he hadn't already done the last time he'd been in town. Where did Xander and Anya get their seemingly unshakable faith in his ability to heal Buffy? How could he help her when he couldn't help himself?

At last, he snorted in impatience at himself and deliberately rang the doorbell.

This way, it would at least be over sooner.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and glanced nervously around the porch as he waited for an answer.

He finally decided nobody must be home. He turned to leave, unsure whether his sigh was of relief or frustration, when the door opened.

He turned back to see her staring at him. Her eyes were wary. He smiled gently at her.

"Hello, Buffy."

"Giles...?"

"May I...um...may I come in? Is this a good time?"

"Um, yeah, okay. It's okay."

At his pointed look, she stood back from the door far enough that he could enter the room. He stepped in and moved to the living room. Buffy followed him slowly.

"When did you get here?"

"Last night. Xander picked me up at the airport."

Buffy crossed her arms across her chest.

"Xander knew? He knew you were coming and he didn't tell me?"

"I - it was rather...spur of the moment."

"And you couldn't call and tell me?"

"Is that really the point, Buffy?"

She shrugged.

"So how long are you staying this time?"

"I don't know."

"Why are you here?"

"To see you."

Buffy tossed her head and rolled her eyes.

"Right. You wanted to spend some time with the great burden that is me. You had your freedom. Why did you really come back?"

"Freedom? Is that what you call it?"

"You tell me. You're the one who wanted it so much."

"Buffy, you don't understand..."

"No. I don't. And maybe I don't want to."

"Look, I know you're upset with me, and I'm not entirely sure I blame you..."

Wow. Maybe you don't blame me. That's good to know."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I had to go, Buffy. I didn't want to leave you."

"Still found a way, though, didn't you?"

"It was for your own good."

"And where have I heard that line before? Wait a minute; I know this one. Angel. Riley."

"I'm not Angel or Riley."

She turned her back as she muttered so low he barely heard her.

"No, you're certainly not."

"You have no intention of listening to a word I say, do you?"

"Give me one good reason why I should."

"Of course. Why on earth would you listen to me? I'm just that useless old man who has devoted his life solely to seeing that you live another bloody day."

"So I can kill more stuff and suffer a few more hours."

"No, Buffy; not for that."

"Then why? Tell me why?"

"Because I love you!"

Buffy stared at him blankly for a long moment, then began to laugh. It was a harsh, bitter sound.

"God, you can't even get it in the right order, can you? First you tell me you love me, then you sleep with me, then - and only then - you leave and rip my heart out. Well, fine. If you insist on doing it wrong, who am I to stop you."

She started unbuttoning her shirt as he stared in horror.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

She shrugged off the shirt and reached behind herself to unfasten her bra. Giles grabbed her by the shoulders to stop her.

"Buffy...? You can't possibly be serious."

"This is your big chance, Giles. Gonna take it?"

"Of course not."

She seemed to shrink in his hands as her anger turned to self loathing.

"No. Why would you?"

Giles looked at her frail form. It was littered with scrapes and bruises, and she'd lost more weight than she could afford to.

"Buffy, what happened? Good lord...who did this to you?"

She pulled away and picked up her shirt.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it bloody well does matter! Who did this? What's responsible?"

"Want the long answer or the short one?"

"I want the truth."

"Fine. It was Willow. She's responsible. And Xander, and Tara, and Anya and you. Oh, yeah, and Spike. All of you did this to me. I think you'd better go."

She turned and walked up the stairs without another glance at Giles. He stood staring after her for a long time. At last he turned and headed out the door, his shoulders hunched, hands in pockets, heart left shattered on the floor of Buffy's living room.

*****

Part 6

Notes and Disclaimers with Part 1

Oz sat in the park and thought. Thinking was always one of his favorite activities, along with waiting until a critical moment to say something outrageous. Wit had been the mask that allowed him to retain his air of detached, laid back superiority.

Plus it had always made authority figures a little frightened of him.

That was cool.

Now, though, his thoughts weren't detached or witty. They had nothing to do with thumbing his nose at convention and everything to do with what Leah had said the night before.

How was he dealing with his scars?

Who did his actions make him?

What did he have to offer Willow in her struggle with the same sort of pain?

Did he have anything to offer her at all?

He was roused from his musings by the sight of a familiar figure.

"Dawn?"

The girl started guiltily.

"Oh. Hey, Oz. You're back."

"Seems like it. Shouldn't you be in school?"

"I'm cutting," she told him with a defiant jut of her chin. "Didn't feel like going today."

"Why not? 'Cause seems to me you always liked the whole learning thing."

"There's stuff they can't teach you there."

Oz nodded sagely.

"True enough. What were you looking to learn?"

Dawn shrugged and sat by Oz.

"I dunno. What to do when you don't exist, maybe."

"Don't exist?"

"I guess I do now, but I didn't two years ago, and now nobody acts like I do anymore."

"You seem real enough to me. Who doesn't think you exist?"

"Well, Xander does and Anya. Spike once in a while. Or he used to. I haven't seen much of him lately. But nobody else does."

"By nobody else, would you mean Buffy?"

Dawn blinked hard and her face scrunched up briefly. Then she took a deep breath and pulled herself back together.

"It's like...she's this zombie now. She never says anything much and she doesn't see what's right under her nose. The only times she knows I'm there is when she's mad at me."

"Well, she was dead. That takes a lot out of a person. Give her some time."

"How much time? She's been back for months now. When is she gonna be better?"

"When she's ready."

"That's not fast enough."

"I know."

The pair sat in silence for a while. Dawn picked at a thread on her jacket. At last she spoke again.

"So what do I do? If she never gets better?"

"You find your own way. That's all anybody can do."

"But it's my fault."

Oz looked sharply at her.

"How do you figure?"

"If I hadn't been the stupid Key, she would never have had to jump and die, and then Willow would never have brought her back and she wouldn't be this way."

"Did you ask to be the Key?"

"No."

"Did you tell Buffy to jump?"

"Well...no."

"Did you ask Will to bring Buffy back?"

"No way. Even I know you don't do that."

"Then none of this is your fault."

"But it's all because of me."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"Oz! You swore in front of me. That's so cool."

He shrugged.

"You're not a kid anymore. Why treat you like one?"

"Buffy does."

"You just said she doesn't notice you."

"Well, when she does notice. And all the others think I'm too young and stupid to research and stuff."

"They just want to protect you."

"Yeah. That's what they say."

"And they mean it. Dawn, the key to being treated like a grown up is to act like one."

"But how can I when they won't let me?"

"Only you can let you. If you do, after a while they'll catch on. But that means you have to play by a few rules."

"Like what?"

"Like actually going to school. Like not getting all defensive when you're told you can't do something."

"You don't do what people say."

"No. But how often do you hear me argue about it?"

"So, I should go back to school? Is that what you're saying?"

Oz checked his watch.

"I think it'd look a little suspicious if you showed up now. There's only a few minutes left. But tomorrow, yeah. I'd go to school then. And I'd tell Buffy before your principle does."

"She's gonna hit the roof."

"Yeah, but she'll notice you. And maybe mad is the first step to something else."

Dawn stood.

"Okay. Guess it's time to face the firing squad."

"You'll make it."

"How'd you get so smart, anyway?"

"Oh, I'm not so smart. I just know where to get good advice."

"Are you gonna stick around this time?"

Oz thought for a moment. He smiled slightly when he thought of having Leah around all the time.

"Y'know, I think I just might."

*****

"Willow, wait!"

"What the hell for? You say you want to work things out and then you just blame me for everything that went wrong. You can't do that, Tara."

"I didn't say it was all you. It's not. It never is. But you can't ignore what you did."

Willow wrenched the front door open.

"But you can all ignore what I can do? Is that what you're saying?"

"Of course not. You messed with our memories, Willow. How am I supposed to just forget that?"

Both women paused in confusion at the strange sentence. In the silence, they heard a sound from upstairs.

"Is that...?" Tara began.

"It must be Dawn. She cries a lot when she thinks we don't hear."

The two women raced up the stairs, but quickly realized the sounds were coming from Buffy's room. Tara got to the door first and opened it to find Buffy crumpled in a ball on her bed clutching a towel to her bra clad chest. Her sobs were gut wrenching.

"Buffy?"

Tara moved to the bed and tried to comfort the Slayer. Buffy flinched away from her.

"Buffy, what's wrong?" Willow asked.

Buffy just shook her head and continued to pour out her pain.

Tara turned to Willow.

"What happened to her? How did she get hurt?"

"I didn't do it, I swear. I would never...I didn't do this."

"Willow, I never said that."

"I didn't do it!"

Tara turned her attention back to Buffy.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

At first neither witch understood Buffy's choked reply, but the second time it was clearer.

"I lost it. I'll never get it back."

"What did you lose, Buffy?"

She just continued to whisper.

"I'll never get it back."

The front door opened. Willow and Tara looked at one another in fear.

"Dawn. We can't let her see this."

"Stop her from coming up, Willow."

Willow hurried down as Tara quickly grabbed out a shirt for Buffy to wear.

"Here, Buffy. Can you put this on? Please. Dawn's home. She shouldn't see you like this."

*****

"What's going on, Willow? Is that Buffy crying?"

Willow stood at the bottom of the stairs, blocking Dawn's path.

"You really don't want to go up there, Dawnie."

"Why is Buffy crying? What happened?"

"I - it's nothing, really. She'll be okay in a bit."

"Let me through."

"You don't want to see this, Dawnie."

"Yes, I do. She's my sister."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't think Buffy wants you to see her like this."

"Too bad. Buffy doesn't get her way this time."

Dawn made a move for the stairs. Willow moved to block her. Dawn swerved at the last moment and ran up to Buffy's room. She stopped in the doorway, shocked at the sight.

"Buffy...?"

"It'll be all right, Dawnie," Tara assured her. "Just go to your room."

"Who hurt her?"

"We don't know. Please, you shouldn't be here."

"I tried to stop her," Willow said as she arrived in the doorway. "She wouldn't stop."

Dawn entered the room slowly and approached the bed.

"Buffy? What's wrong? Please tell me."

She sat and stroked her sister's hair. She refused to allow the tears stinging her eyes to fall.

"Buffy, talk to me. I want to know."

At last Buffy's tears began to slow down. She took a few shuddering breaths, then pulled out of the ball she'd wrapped herself into and took Dawn in her arms.

"I lost it, and I'll never get it back."

"What, Buffy? What did you lose?"

"My soul. I think I left it in Heaven."

Willow's eyes grew wide.

"Oh, God, no. Buffy? No."

She ran from the room. Tara looked after her in panic, then at the two sisters. She followed Willow. Dawn just hugged her sister tighter.

"No, you didn't, Buffy. You still have it. Maybe it's just a little broken right now."

"Then why can't I feel anything? Why can't I see anything good? Why can't I show you how much I love you?"

"Y - you love me? Really?"

"How can you ask that? I love you so much, I died for you, Dawn. I would die for you a thousand times."

"But I don't want you to die, Buffy. Can't you try to live instead?"

The girls embraced fiercely and allowed their tears to fall unheeded.

*****

Willow sat with her back to the bathroom vanity and cried silently. She wiped her tears away as best she could, but they fell too thick and fast for her to catch them all. Tara sat beside her and held her close.

"This is all my fault," she choked out at last. "I never meant to hurt Buffy, you know that, right?"

"I know, it's gonna be okay."

"How can it ever be okay, Tara? I stole her out of Heaven and I screwed her up so bad she thinks she doesn't have a soul. What if she's right? How do I fix it?"

"You can't undo what you've done, Willow."

"I know that! I tried so hard to pretend I could, but I can't, can I? And now Buffy hates me and you hate me, and Giles hates me, and I totally deserve it, but I don't know how I fix it."

"Shhhh, honey, we don't hate you. How could we?"

"But I was so horrible and - and arrogant. I hurt Dawn and I hurt Buffy and I hurt you."

"Listen to me, Willow. You did some really bad stuff, but you're still you. You're sick and you need help. Maybe Giles knows someone you can talk to; somewhere you could go? I don't know. All I know is if you want to get better, I'll do everything I can to help you."

"Even after everything?"

"Even after everything."

Willow wept desperately in Tara's arms for some time. Tara continued to simply hold her and make soothing sounds for her lover. At last her breathing evened out and Tara realized Willow had fallen asleep in her arms. She pillowed the red head against her breast and remained holding Willow.

*****

Part 7

Notes and Disclamers with Part 1

"What exactly did he say?"

"I told you, Xander. He said it didn't go well with Buffy."

"And this set off the alarm bells why exactly?"

Despite his skepticism, Xander hurried along the hall of his apartment building so quickly that Anya had to practically run to keep up.

"Because he sounded like not Giles."

Xander stopped and turned. Anya slammed into him.

"Huh? Not Giles? What? Like demon Giles or what do you mean?"

"Well...he sounded funny. He giggled."

"Giggled? Giles doesn't giggle."

"Well he did this time. And he said bad words. Ones that Spike uses."

Xander stood with a befuddled look on his face.

"I don't get it. Giles doesn't ever sound like that. I've never seen him like...shit."

"Xander!"

"I did see him like that once. We have to get to him now."

The pair hurried down the hall to Xander's door. Anya sniffed at the air.

"Something is on fire in there. We have to get Giles out of there before it burns down."

"I'm trying, An," Xander gritted as he fumbled with his key. At last it worked and he flung the door open.

Giles sat slumped on the couch, a thin trail of smoke rising from the cigarette in his hand. Anya immediately marched over to him and grabbed the cigarette.

"Why were you smoking? You don't smoke."

"I used to. I decided to take it up again."

Anya headed for the kitchen and put the cigarette out in the sink by running water over it.

"That's an extremely stupid thing to do. Mortal bodies are fragile. You could give yourself cancer that way."

"It's my own affair, Anya."

"Nu-uh. Haven't you ever heard of second hand smoke? You know you'd never forgive yourself if you gave Xander cancer."

Xander, meanwhile inspected the bottle he found on the coffee table.

"Giles, how much of this did you drink?"

"How much is gone?"

"Way too much for one man to drink in a couple hours. Exactly how hollow is that leg of yours, anyway?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"You mean he's drunk?" Anya asked. "Giles, you can't be drunk. You don't get drunk. Look at him, Xander. He's fine. He's not even wobbling."

"And that's what scares me most," Xander agreed. "Giles, you have to know this isn't good. I was raised by professional drunks who couldn't hold their liquor like this."

"Sod off, Xander."

"No way, Giles. God, I always looked up to you so much. Anything I know about how to be a man, I learned it from you. Was it all just a lie? Are you really just like my dad and Uncle Roary? 'Cause I really don't want that to be true."

Giles began to giggle. Soon the giggles turned into a roar of bitter laughter.

"I'm not your bloody father, Xander. I was never your father or Willow's or Buffy's, but you all expect it of me, don't you? I don't get to have problems of my own because I'm so damn busy cleaning up after you lot. 'Giles, my boyfriend is a bloodsucking demon, what do I do?' 'Giles, I conjured my vampire twin from an alternate reality, what do I do?', 'Giles, I did a love spell that misfired and now your girlfriend is bloody hitting on me, what do I do?' Well, when I need a hand, where the blazes are you?"

"What...? Where did all this come from?"

Giles shook his head sadly.

"You really don't get it, do you? You and the others have all conveniently labeled me as something I'm not. And you use that label to shut me out. When Buffy died, you all came to me for support, but not one of you stayed when I needed it. You shoved that damnable robot in my face and told me to train it. I did. You decided to raise Buffy from her well deserved rest, and you couldn't be bothered to let me know. You sent me off from the airport and raced home to bring Buffy back to you. Not me, you. Well, now you've got her and she's a mess and you tell me: 'Giles, we raised the girl you love from the dead and now she's mad at us, come back and fix it.' I don't think I can, Xander. This is one mess too many. How could you do this to her? Did none of you think she might have been happier where she was? No. You're using her the way you use me and I'm bloody sick and tired of it!"

"Wait a minute," Xander said, "you love Buffy? As in in love and hearts and flowers and stuff?"

"And the tradition of determined ignorance continues unabated. Did you hear nothing I said?"

"Okay, I heard. Bad Xander. Bad Will. Bad Tara and Anya and Dawn."

"Hey!" Anya protested. "I'm not bad."

"But when the hell did you ever ask us to help you?" Xander demanded. "When did you say you could use that hand you were talking about? None of us could ever get that close, except maybe Buffy in the old days. Maybe we did shut you out, but there was mutual shuttage, Giles. Did you ever think that if you asked, one of us might be happy to help you after everything you did for all of us? How many times have you sat alone and miserable in your apartment with a bottle when you could have had someone to listen to your problems? So, we wouldn't have had much in the way of advice. You're answer guy, and there's a good reason for that. But I'd have listened if you'd ever once asked me to."

"Did I really have to ask?"

"Giles, this is me. Xander. Cretin boy. Of course you have to ask. Except right now. Even I can see you need a shoulder today. So spill. Give it to me with both barrels. I don't know what I can do, but I'm standing right here. Tell me what we did to Buffy. Tell me what we did to you."

*****

Oz spotted Leah as soon as he walked in the diner. He headed for her booth at the back and waited until she looked up from her notebook to speak.

"Hey."

"Hey, Oz. Back for the coffee? I hear it's better tonight. Extra industrial waste for extra flavor."

"Who could pass that up?"

At a gesture from Leah, he sat across from her. When the waitress came by he ordered a Coke.

"So," the girl began, "what brings you to my lonely office tonight?"

"My van. It's in the parking lot."

She smiled wryly at him.

"Pretend you're an actor. What's your motivation?"

"Millions of dollars and potential goldtone statuettes."

"Oz."

"Okay. I was looking for you."

"Because...?"

"I made a decision today. Sorta need your help with it, though."

"What can I do you for?"

"I decided it's time to stop picking up and moving on when things get weird. And I decided I want to come home."

"And home would be where?"

"Here. Sunnydale."

"Well, I might have a copy of today's paper at my place. I'd let you check out the rental listings."

"That's not the problem. Or, not really the problem. It's more of a question. One I need to ask you."

"Me? Okay. Shoot."

"It might be more than one."

"I got all night to play twenty questions."

"Okay. This might sound a little strange at first."

"I'm listening."

"Are you involved with anyone? In a relationship?"

"Relationship? Yeah. A few."

"Oh."

"All Platonic as hell."

"Ah. Well, it's a valid lifestyle choice."

"Sure, except that it's not one I really made. Just sorta the way it is."

"So...do you like guys?"

"Yeah. I'd say from my reactions to the pictures in Playgirl that I could go for a guy. And my reactions to pictures in Playboy indicate to me that I'm not really interested in the other option."

"That's good. Not that the other way would be bad. It just would mean there'd be no point in asking my next question."

"What's that?"

"Are you interested in me? Because I'm really interested in you."

"I knew you weren't coming here for the food."

"Nah. The food's great. It's just it's the company that brings me back."

Leah smiled and blushed.

"So, are you asking me on a date or what?"

"Seemed a good place to start."

"Um, yeah. Okay. I'd like that."

"You sure about that?"

"I said yes, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but you said it like I was heading up the firing squad and asked you if you wanted a blindfold. Not exactly how I was hoping you'd say yes."

"I do want to. I just...look, before we go out, there's something I think you should know about me. I'm not very...experienced."

"That's okay. I want to go out with you because I like you. And I think I could maybe more than like you if things go right. There's no rush or anything."

"But I'm talking *really* inexperienced."

"Yeah. I get that. Don't worry. We'll take it however you want. And not to pressure you, or make you think I'm some Don Juan, but I've been with a virgin before. I can make it good for you, if you ever decide you want to. But all I'm asking for here is a date. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves."

"Oz, I've never even really kissed a guy," Leah blurted out.

"Really?"

"Really."

Leah toyed with her silverware as she spoke.

"The last time a boy kissed me, he really was a boy. About eight. On a dare. When I was eight, too."

When Oz didn't say anything, she had to look across the table. His face was devoid of anything that could actually be called an expression, as per usual, and yet he looked oddly sympathetic.

"That's how inexperienced I meant."

"We can fix that any time you want."

"You don't mind?"

"Werewolves aren't known for sharing well, anyway."

"Does this mean you're going to get all macho and possessive on me before we've had our first date?"

"But only in an enlightened, feminism friendly way."

"As long as we're clear on that. Walk me to my car?"

"Sure."

As they passed the register, Oz was confused that they didn't stop.

"Aren't we paying?"

"It's my dad's place. I never pay, and tonight was my treat."

"Does your old man know you're mocking his coffee?"

"I make it. I'm allowed."

"Cool."

He opened the door for her and they headed out to the parking lot. She led him to her car.

"Here we are."

"So, I guess this is goodnight."

"Yeah."

"About that date? How's tomorrow night?"

"Eight?"

"I'll take you someplace where you can find out what coffee's supposed to taste like."

"Sounds great."

Oz reached out and cupped Leah's cheek in one hand.

"I'm glad I'm staying."

"So am I."

He moved slowly, giving her every chance to stop him. At the last moment before his lips touched hers, he paused. She closed her eyes and leaned toward him. He closed the gap.

The sensation was sweet and gentle; a touch of velvet against her mouth. It was warm, and the warmth traveled down her body to other parts that wanted attention. Leah initiated a second kiss.

When Oz pulled back, she made a small noise of protest. He smiled and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"Good experience?"

"Much better than I remembered."

He kissed her again before he left.

*****

Part 8

Notes and Disclamers with Part 1

"So, do you maybe want to get dressed now?" Dawn asked when her sister finally ran out of tears to shed.

Buffy looked down at herself and realized how little she was wearing.

"I guess I should, huh?"

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt, anyway? And that's not one of our towels."

"It's from the training room. One of the ones Giles uses - used - when he got too sweaty during training."

Buffy pointedly ignored the first question as she slipped on the shirt Tara had gotten out for her earlier.

"Why were you hanging onto a sweaty Giles towel? Isn't that sorta...psycho? Or did you hear something bad from him? Or about...he's okay, right? Nothing happened to him, did it?"

"No, he'll be okay."

"Did something hurt him?"

"Only me. Nothing new there."

"How could you hurt him? He isn't even here."

"Not for long, anyway. He - he's in town. He came over."

"And...?"

"And what? I was an uberbitch to him. He's probably already at the airport."

"Buffy! You have to stop him!"

Buffy shook her head sadly.

"It's better this way. He's better off without me."

*****

"I left for her good. I wanted her to - to stand on her own two feet and take responsibility for herself and Dawn. Perhaps there was a selfish element as well. That night when she compared me to her mother...it was too much for me to bear."

"She compared you to Joyce? I really hope it wasn't anything about your dress sense."

Giles managed a wan smile at Xander's attempt to lighten the mood.

"Perhaps I shouldn't have worn my lavender dress that night."

He sipped quietly at the coffee Anya had made him.

"So what happened today?" Anya asked impatiently.

Giles set his coffee cup down and stood, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He crossed to the window and look out with bleak eyes.

"I discovered that I'd made the worst possible mistake. Buffy hates me now."

"No way, Giles," Xander protested. "Buffy couldn't hate you if she tried."

"She holds me in the deepest contempt, then."

"Look, Giles, she might be mad at you - Buffy's pretty much mad at everyone and everything right now - but you have to know she cares about you."

"Once, I believe she did. I know she did. But now...I've betrayed her, Xander. She trusted me; said she couldn't lose me, and I up and left her with barely a word. What the hell was I thinking?"

"That maybe if you shook her up enough she'd be Buffy again? I keep waiting for it too, y'know."

"And when I saw all the bruises and cuts...all over her..."

"Wait a minute, Giles. 'All' over her? How much all did you see?"

"She's letting something hurt her. You were right. I don't know what or why, but we did this to her."

"That's ridiculous," Anya said. "We didn't hit her."

"No, but she blames us all for her current predicament, and I'm not entirely certain that she's wrong. How often do you see her now?"

Xander shrugged.

"I dunno. When she comes to the store to train or to ask us for research. Maybe once a week or so."

"And I left her entirely."

"It's not like she makes it easy," Anya protested. "When we do see her, she's very rude. She says mean things."

"It's like she doesn't want us to..."

The blood drained from Xander's face.

"Xander?" Giles asked. "What is it?"

"I never told anyone about this, but sometimes my dad hits my mom. And when he does, she gets really stand offish. She snaps at her friends, and doesn't go anywhere. Then he stops and she's okay again, until the next time."

"That's exactly how Buffy is acting," Giles agreed. "Has she been seeing anyone at all?"

"Not that I know of, but maybe it's time to ask her and not take a cold shoulder for an answer."

*****

Buffy trudged wearily into the kitchen. Tara was there sipping a cup of tea.

"How are you, Buffy?"

Buffy shrugged.

"I don't know, really. I think I might be hungry."

Tara smiled and went to the refrigerator as Buffy slid into a chair.

"I'll make you something. Would you like some tea? Or hot chocolate?"

"Um...hot chocolate. Please."

"Marshmallows, right?"

"No. No, I don't want any marshmallows."

The witch worked silently for a while. She tried to gauge the mood of her friend, but was unable to determine her best course of action. She decided the best thing to do was to make a grilled cheese sandwich and add some fruit to the plate. She hoped Buffy would actually eat the meal. She'd been shocked at how thin Buffy had become.

"Here, Buffy."

"Thanks."

Tara was startled. In the past few weeks, Buffy had rarely talked if it wasn't absolutely necessary. She hadn't said anything that friendly since Giles left.

"Y-you're welcome."

She sat and watched as Buffy ate listlessly, but steadily until the plate was empty. The hot chocolate remained untouched until an unpleasant skin formed on the top.

"A - are you going to drink that, Buffy?"

The Slayer stared oddly at the mug for a moment.

"No. I don't think so."

"I could get you something else. Tea?"

"No."

Tara was surprised at Buffy's sharp tone. She decided to change the subject.

"Are you feeling better?"

Buffy shrugged silently.

"I think Willow understands now, what she did. What we did, I should say. She was just...she was so sure that you were suffering. I know I can't make it better, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Another shrug.

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes it does, Buffy. We hurt you. None of us meant to do that."

"But you did."

"Yes, we did. We were wrong."

"Now I'm the one who's wrong."

"No, Buffy, you have to give yourself some time."

"Time for what? Everything I've said and done since I came back has been awful. I lost my soul and now I've driven all my friends off."

"No, you haven't. I'm here. Willow's here."

"You don't understand."

"I might if you tried to explain."

"Then maybe you could explain it to me."

As Tara watched, Buffy's face crumpled again and a new flood of tears began to flow. In an instant, Tara had moved to Buffy and taken her in her arms.

"I can't seem to stop. I can't stop crying," Buffy whimpered through her tears.

"It's okay, Buffy," Tara crooned gently. "Tears are good sometimes."

*****

Dawn approached Willow a bit timidly.

"Are you awake yet?"

The witch rolled over and wiped her eyes.

"Yeah. It's okay. I've been up for a while now. What's up?"

"Is Buffy right?"

"W - what? Dawn, what are you asking?"

"Is Buffy right? Did you bring her back wrong?"

"No! I - I mean, I don't think so. I would never do that on purpose. I love her. She's my best friend."

"Is there a way to find out? If you did it on accident, then?"

"Dawn...I can't. And even if I could I couldn't."

"Could Tara?"

"I don't know. I never heard of a spell to check for a soul before."

"Then we need to get the gang together and research. We need Giles."

"I could call him and see if he knows what books to look in. I'm not sure what time it is over there..."

"He's here."

"What?"

"Buffy saw him earlier. He came to see her. So can we find him? He has to be somewhere. Do you remember what hotel he stayed in last time?"

"He never said. Last time I talked to him, he didn't say anything about coming here."

"Maybe Xander knows, then. I'm gonna call him."

The girl turned and headed for the door. At the last moment, she turned and looked steadily at Willow.

"I know you didn't mean it, but if you did hurt Buffy, if you brought her back without a soul, then you'd better move out of here."

"But Dawnie, who'll take care of you then?"

"Same person who's been doing it since Tara moved out: me."

*****

Giles ran a nervous hand through his hair, putting off the moment when he'd have to ring Buffy's doorbell. Xander clapped him on the shoulder.

"Come on, big guy. You can do this."

"I wish I felt as sure as you do."

"Look at it this way, Giles," Anya said. "There's no way you can make her any worse."

"Thank you, Anya. That makes me feel immeasurably better."

"I'm just trying to help."

"This might be a good time not to do that, An," Xander told her.

Giles rang the doorbell. A moment later the door opened and Giles found himself wrapped in a pair of arms.

"Giles!" Dawn exclaimed. "You're here! I need you to find a spell for me."

"What are you talking about, Dawn?"

"For Buffy. She's all messed up, Giles. You can make her better, I know."

Giles extricated himself from the girl's embrace and gently steered her into the living room.

"I don't think you really want the neighbors to hear this conversation, do you?"

"I - I guess not."

"Where is Buffy?"

"She's in the kitchen. She's crying, Giles, and she won't stop. You have to do something."

"I don't know if she'll let me, Dawn, but if I can do anything - anything at all - I promise you I will. Now, why don't you go get her, and we'll see what can be done, shall we?"

"Could a spell help?"

"I'd like to try a more mundane approach at first, if you don't mind. If it doesn't work, then we'll look to the supernatural. Agreed?"

"Okay. Should we all be here when you talk to her?"

"No, I think it had best be just the two of us. Is that all right with you?"

"Come on, An. Let's go see Will," Xander said as he encouraged his fiancee up the stairs.

"Yeah. That might be good," Dawn agreed. "I think I might have been a little harsh with her a while ago."

When the others were gone, Giles rubbed the back of his neck and allowed a worried expression to form on his face. He still had no idea how to approach Buffy. She'd been so angry and defensive with him before, and he'd risen to her bait beautifully. Well, not this time. This time he wouldn't let her run him off. Even if she started stripping again. He would just have to deal with her naked if that's what it took to make her understand he wasn't leaving again.

He quickly realized that was a bad thought to have. He sat immediately and folded his hands in his lap.

A moment later, Buffy appeared. She stood warily in the doorway.

"You came back."

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"Because I had to try again. I didn't do at all well the last time."

Buffy shrugged.

"Well, you never were emotion guy."

A rueful smile flickered across Giles' lips.

"Not so you'd see, I'll admit. But I do have them - emotions. I've got used to hiding them, I suppose. You see, they run pretty deep. Makes it easy for people to hurt me if they've a mind to."

Buffy stepped into the room and took a seat as far from Giles as she could.

"You mean, it makes it easy for me to hurt you."

"Among others. You see, the only people who can really hurt me are those whose opinion I care about. That's why you can hurt me faster and worse than anyone else I know."

Buffy stood suddenly and walked to the fireplace. She toyed with the ornaments on the mantelpiece with her back to Giles.

"You shouldn't care about my opinion."

"Why not, Buffy?"

"Because I'm not the Buffy you knew anymore."

Her hands gripped the mantelpiece and her shoulders began to shake. In an instant, Giles was on his feet and at her side.

"What are you talking about? Please tell me what's bothering you. I want to help."

"You can't help me. Unless maybe you have an orb of Thessulah on you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't you get it, Giles? Willow brought me back wrong. I came back, but my soul got left behind in Heaven. I'm no better than the things I kill every night."

"That isn't true."

"No? Then why can Spike hit me? Why can he throw me at walls and kick me and scratch me and make me bleed and it doesn't hurt him? The only things he can hurt like that are other demons. I'm not human anymore. I'm not good enough to have you and Xander and Dawn in my life. All I deserve is Spike. I'm his punching bag and his whore and that's all I'm good for!"

Buffy slid to the floor as she burst into tears again. Giles knelt and reached out to her. She flinched away, but he refused to accept defeat. He pulled her into his arms and rocked her gently. After a moment she realized that he was crying too. Despite that, he began to talk to her.

"You're wrong, Buffy. I don't believe you've lost your soul; only your way."

"Didn't you hear what I said? Spike can hit me."

"I know. And I'll do everything I can to get to the bottom of this, but you do have a soul. You are my Buffy."

"What makes you think that?"

"Do you remember when Angel turned? How he changed? When he lost his soul, he wasn't like this. He laughed. He said he was glad to be rid of it. He didn't mourn its loss. Have you ever known a vampire who shed tears for its lost soul? I haven't, and I've known a fair number of vampires in my time."

"Then how can Spike hit me? Tell me Mr. Knowledge; how does that work?"

"I don't know. All I can tell you is that you have your soul. I look in your eyes and I see it as clearly as I ever did. It's in pain, but it's there. I still see you, and I still love you."

"How can you after I did it with Spike? I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anyone nice to care about me."

"You deserve anyone you want, Buffy. And whether you deserve me or not, I fully intend to stay. Once you're on your feet again, I'll go tie up my affairs in England and come back to Sunnydale permanently. Where you are is where I belong. I am your Watcher, and your friend, and...whatever you will allow me to be to you. You and I belong together, and I will never leave your side again. I promise you that."

Buffy looked up at him with swollen red-rimmed eyes and rosy nose, but with a tiny hint of a smile.

"Really?"

Giles dug out his handkerchief and handed it to her.

"Really."

He wiped his own eyes with his hand.

*****

Part 9

Notes and Disclamers with Part 1

"I can't believe what a fool I've been."

"Hey, Will, it's okay," Xander told her.

"No, it's not. I ruined Buffy and now Dawn hates my guts and I sorta hate them too. I screwed up about as completely as you can."

"Are you really sure you want to change?" Anya asked.

"How many ways do you spell 'duh'?" Willow replied.

"I mean it. You have to be serious about this."

"I am. If there was a Betty Ford clinic for this, I'd be there right now, checking myself in."

"There is. It's not called Betty Ford, and it's run by a demon, but it's a place for majick abusers to dry out and deal with their addiction. I can get you in."

"How?"

"Oh, the guy who runs it is an old friend of D'Hoffryn. He told me if I ever needed it, he'd take any friend of mine half price. But the program takes a while."

"How long?"

"A week."

"A - a week? Really?"

"Hey, healing doesn't happen overnight."

"No, I meant...that seems sorta...like it's not long enough. Is it? Long enough?"

"Oh, it's a week on this plane of existence. There it's six months."

Willow considered for a moment.

"How much does it cost? I don't have much money?"

"Don't worry about that. I have plenty of money."

"You'd pay for this? Really?"

"Oh no, but I'd give you a loan at a reasonable interest rate."

"Anya," Xander said warningly.

"Oh, all right," she shrugged. "Interest free loan."

"Those are the best terms you'll get out of her," Xander said with humor.

"Deal," Willow said. "Make the arrangements, and I'll do it. I want to get better."

*****

When Buffy had calmed down a bit, Giles led her to the sofa and settled her next to himself. He was pleased when she allowed her head to rest on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave himself over to the warmth of holding her.

"You really believe I'll be okay?"

"If you really want to be, yes, I believe it."

"Couldn't we just break Faith out of prison and send her to stake Spike?"

Giles chuckled slightly and pulled her closer.

"I can understand the temptation, but this is something you need to do. I'll back you up. It'll be okay."

"Just keep on telling me that, will you? If you say it enough I might start to think you're right."

Neither noticed when Xander appeared at the top of the stairs. Something in the posture of his friends stopped him in his tracks.

"We'll go tomorrow at nightfall," Buffy said with some of her old determination.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"To stop being Spike's punching bag? Yeah. I finally figured out there's better things to be."

"He'll try to hit you. You'd best be prepared for that."

"It'll be different this time. And there's no way I'm ever having sex with him again. When am I ever going to learn? Nookie with vamps? Big mistake."

"But not one you need to make again."

"Never again. I end this with Spike, and I move on once and for all to the living. Hopefully one who treats me right. Maybe even one I can love back."

"There's no rush, you know."

"Twenty one year old Slayer with two death scenes behind me, remember? There's potential for rushing. I just don't know...I care about you. I just don't know if it's what you're feeling or not."

"Well, whenever you figure it out, I'll still be here. I'll even stay if you don't feel the same way I do. If friendship is what you have to offer me, I'll take it gladly."

Xander slipped back into Willow's room.

*****

The next night, Buffy prepared herself carefully. She checked her weaponry thoroughly and made sure to dress simply and comfortably. As she slipped the final stake up her sleeve, she felt a presence behind her.

"I can really do this, right, Giles?"

"You can if you believe it, Buffy. Are you ready?"

She squared her shoulders.

"Yeah. I think so."

"You need to be sure."

"The way I've been living isn't really living. It's time. Plus, I've got back up."

"But you need to do this yourself. I can't do it for you."

"I know. It's up to me. My job."

She turned and faced him.

"Let's go and break up with Spike."

"My pleasure."

*****

Oz held the door open as Leah wheeled herself into The Bronze. They found a table near the back and Leah settled in to listen to the band while Oz got them coffee. When he returned with two steaming cups, he found Leah talking with Willow.

"Will? What's up?"

"Oh. Hi, Oz. Um, there's sort of a Scooby party over there."

She pointed to where Anya and Tara sat with Dawn.

"Sort of an abbreviated Scoobygang tonight, isn't it?"

"Buffy and Giles are meeting us soon. They had something to take care of, and Xander forgot something at work so he went to get it."

"Wait a minute, Giles is here? I thought you said he went back to England."

"He came back. Here, came back. For Buffy."

"Cool. So the party's a welcome home, Giles thing? 'Cause, don't get me wrong, but this isn't exactly his sort of place, is it?"

"Well, it's more of a bon voyage Willow party, actually."

"Where are you headed?" Leah asked.

"Rehab. You were right, Oz. I have a problem and I need help. Anya knows somebody. I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll be back in a week though."

"Good luck, Will. I mean it," Oz said.

"I know. Thanks. I guess I won't see you when I get back, huh?"

He looked down at Leah.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that. I think I might just have a reason to stay."

Willow looked from one to the other. She waited for her stomach to twist with jealousy. If she was absolutely honest, there was the tiniest of twinges, but mostly she felt happy for Oz.

"Pretty good reason, if you ask me. Hey, did you guys want to join us? Plenty of room at the Scooby table."

"Tell you what, we'll come to your welcome home party and sit in with you guys then. I think Leah and I want some alone time tonight."

"Okay. See ya'!"

She gave a fluttery little wave and headed back to Tara.

*****

Buffy took one more deep breath and flung open the door of Spike's crypt.

"Well, well, look who's back for more," he drawled. "Y'know, it's only polite to knock. Even you should know that. Well, come on, get your kit off."

He pulled his shirt off and moved his hands to his fly.

"Not this time, Spike. No more."

"Yeah, I heard that before. Quit lying to yourself. You know you're gonna end up on your back so you might as well get to it."

"I said no."

"You say no every time until you say yes. What? Do I really have to convince you?"

He loomed over her and drew back his fist.

"No. You can't convince me anymore."

"What's got into you? You know I'm all you've got, little girl."

"That's where you'd be wrong," came a voice from the shadows.

Spike laughed.

"You brought Rupert along to join in the fun? Well, I don't fancy shagging the Watcher, so you can just send him along home."

"He stays as long as I do," Buffy said with a calm she couldn't quite feel.

Spike let his fist fly this time. As it connected with Buffy's jaw, his head screamed in pain.

"What the...? How...?"

"Guess I'm not so broken after all, Spike. I'm human, and I deserve better than you."

"I could hit you before."

"I know. I believed I was less than human. I believed I didn't deserve anything good, anyone good. I hated myself and I thought I needed to be punished. That's why you could hit me, I think. But I know better now. I have friends and I have a soul, and I'm never going to let you touch me again."

She turned to leave, but stopped at the doorway.

"Mess with me or my friends again, and you're dust, Spike."

She left. Spike was surprised to realize a moment later that Giles was still there with a crossbow trained on him.

"What? I've had my humiliation for the night. Aren't you going to follow your Slayer and mince about in her shadow now? I'm not in the mood for more company."

Giles let his bolt fly. It hit Spike in the shoulder.

"Ow! Bloody hell! What was that for?"

Giles calmly reloaded as he spoke in a quiet voice.

"I recommend you leave town, Spike."

"Or what?"

Another bolt hit the other shoulder.

"Ow! Bugger but that hurts!"

"Or, I will make you look like Saint bloody Sebastian before I come anywhere near hitting your heart. I'm a very good shot. I can make it last for hours."

Spike began to laugh.

"Oh you've got it bad, Watcher. You know she'll never turn to you. You'll be just as pathetic as me, watching her with all the pretty boys that come along. At least I got some from her. She's like ice, you know. Can't let go at all."

This time he found the bolt stuck in his crotch. Spike doubled over in pain and lay on the floor whimpering.

"Perhaps you didn't understand me, Spike. You are no longer welcome in this town. You will get no more blood, no more cigarettes, and no more protection from Buffy. If I see you again this time next week, I'll turn you into a fucking pincushion before I let you die."

He turned and left the crypt. Buffy was waiting for him outside.

"What took you so long?"

"I had a few words to say to Spike. He won't bother us again."

"Good. You know what I feel like?"

"What?"

"A party. Let's Bronze and celebrate my freedom."

"I can think of nothing I'd rather do."

As the pair strolled off, another figure slipped into Spike's crypt. Xander found the vampire gingerly pulling crossbow bolts from his body.

"So, looks like Buffy wised up."

"Go away, whelp."

"Nah, I think I'm gonna stay a while. Not too long. Just enough to make sure you leave Buffy alone forever."

"Because you're gonna scold me? Please! Watcher boy made it clear."

"Maybe, but he left you standing."

Spike turned sharply to face his visitor for the first time. Xander held a long-handled axe with a vicious looking blade.

"You don't have the wrinklies, boy."

"Oh I got wrinklies. Not only that, I got balls. But more than that, I got a big axe and an itch to make sure you never hurt Buffy again."

"Please! She's the one who hurt me! She's the one who started this whole deal. She's the one who was using me. And just because she likes it a little rough, you and bleeding Rupert come over all manly and protective of the bitch. She got what she wanted and you kill me for giving it to her? What is this?"

"You don't get it, do you? See, I know how this works because I grew up with it. Every few months, my dad goes on a tear and beats the crap out of my mom if she so much as blinks wrong. For years I thought she must have done something terrible to deserve that. Then I started looking at other families, and I realized that's not how it works. Nobody deserves that. Yeah, Buffy's been messed up lately. And if you loved her as much as you claim to, you'd have seen that and not used it to get her into bed. You'd have been doing everything you could to make her see she's a good person, not hitting her."

"When are you lot going to understand that she hit me first? She hit me and she kissed me and she sent so many mixed signals it's a wonder my brain didn't explode! She. Hit. Me. First."

"Aren't you forgetting something, Spike? You're a vampire. Hitting you is her job. And if a woman sends mixed signals, a man can walk away before he hits her. There's no excuse."

"Fine. I'll leave. You can all vilify me all you want in your Scoobified little heads. Laugh behind my back. I don't bloody care anymore."

Xander shook his head.

"Not good enough, Peroxide Boy. You have a way of coming back. Not this time."

He swung his blade.

Xander looked at the pile of dust for a moment as if daring it to become Spike again.

"No wrinklies, huh?"

He rested the axe against his shoulder and left the crypt without a backwards glance.

*****

Just outside The Bronze, Buffy took Giles' hand and stopped him.

"I just wanted to say...Giles, thanks. For everything. And if you want, I guess we could try the whole dating thing, maybe."

He smiled down at her and cupped her cheek softly in one large hand.

"No."

"Huh? I thought that was what you wanted."

"I do, very much. But I won't take it unless and until it's what you want, too."

"Okay, you lost me there."

"No I guesses, no maybes. If and when you're ready to tell me you love me and want to be with me, I will be delighted beyond words. I'll still be here in the meantime, but I won't accept this as gratitude or a favor. We both deserve better than that, Buffy. And if you find you can't love me, I will still be your friend. You won't lose me. I do, however, give you fair warning that if you find someone else, I may need to withdraw for a while to lick my wounds."

Buffy ducked her head. Giles slipped a finger under her chin and raised it. Her eyes were glistening with tears.

"What's wrong?"

"Just when I think you can't be any better, you are."

He bent and deliberately pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"It's good to have you back, Buffy."

He swiped her tears away with his fingers.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah. Let's not keep the guys waiting. And Giles?"

"Yes?"

"Is it okay if I ask you to save a dance for me?"

"That would be very okay. Come on, then. Let's go in."

He put a hand to the small of Buffy's back as she opened the door and walked in. A piece of Buffy wanted to shrink back. The music was so loud, the colors so bright. She looked nervously over her shoulder and found Giles nodding and smiling encouragement at her. She smiled back, squared her shoulders, and headed to the table where Willow sat waving at them.

Dawn met the pair halfway to the table.

"Are you okay, Buffy?" She asked anxiously.

"Sure, Munchkin," Buffy replied as she smoothed Dawn's hair. "Everything is A-okay."

Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Do you have to call me that? I'm taller than you."

"But you're still my little sister. Calling you embarrassing names is not only my privilege, but my duty."

"Great. How was patrol?"

"Pretty quiet. Just one vamp. He won't bother us again."

"Cool. Come sit down. Unless you want to dance, but Xander isn't here yet, so I guess you'd have to dance with a girl till he gets here."

"Dawn, Giles is here. He's not a girl."

"No, but Giles dancing? Not of the likely."

"On the contrary," Giles said. "I think I'd like to dance. Miss Summers, may I have the honor?"

"Yes, you may. Dawn, tell the others we'll be there in a couple minutes."

She took Giles' hand as Dawn ran back to the table. The tune was a slow one. Buffy felt a bit odd at first when Giles slipped his arms around her waist. She blushed as she moved her arms to his neck and they began to sway.

"This feels a little weird."

"It does, a little."

"Usually, if we're this close it's because we're practicing hand to hand."

"Just promise me you won't forget where we are and toss me over your shoulder."

"Nah. This may feel strange, but it's sorta nice, too."

"Very nice," Giles agreed when Buffy nestled a bit closer. She looked up when she felt a small chuckle rumble through his chest.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, it's not really funny," he told her as he turned her in his arms so she could see Oz and Leah on the dancefloor. The werewolf held one of Leah's hands and she steered her chair with the other. "It's oddly right, in fact. When did Oz get back?"

"I don't know. But he looks happy."

"How can you tell?"

"It's a subtle, Ozzy kind of happy, but it's there if you look."

"Shall we say hello?"

"Uh uh. Dance now, say hi later."

She turned and rested her cheek against Giles' sternum. He made no argument.

*****

Part 10

Notes and Disclaimers with Part 1

Six months later, the gang sat around the tarot table at the Magic Box, researching the latest big bad to hit town. Willow tapped efficiently at her laptop while Leah read a book in German. Tara gathered herbs for a spell she would be performing to confuse the demon so Buffy would have a better chance of killing it without injury to herself. Oz and Xander double checked that Buffy's weapons were in order for the battle. Dawn searched patiently through a book in English.

Buffy came out of the training room, wiping the sweat from her brow as she dropped into a chair.

"So, what's the word?"

"We have a week before he can perform the ritual." Willow told her, "So he won't be up to full strength if you find him in the next few days."

"It shouldn't be too hard to take him out," Leah added. "It says here that a direct blow to the left kneecap will pierce his heart."

Buffy shook her head.

"Why do so many demons keep their vital organs in such weird places? I mean, I hacked and slashed at that whatchimacallit last week..."

"Waschemacht," Dawn corrected her sister.

"Whatever. And all the time it's heart was in its butt. If I'd known that, I'd have made a rear attack. So to speak."

"It's a good thing Leah was here for that," Willow said. "She's better at German than Giles is."

Buffy pouted.

"That's right. Insult my guy when he isn't here to defend himself."

"When's he coming back?" Xander asked.

"Tonight," Dawn said. "Is it okay if I come over to your guys' place? I really don't want to be in the way of the big reunion. It could get loud."

Anya shot a warning look to Xander.

"Sorry, Dawn. I don't think tonight works for us."

"It's the two month anniversary of our marriage," Anya announced. "The movie I rented wouldn't be appropriate for you."

Willow and Tara shared a look.

"You could come to our place, Dawnie. Would that be okay?"

"Yeah, Tara. That'd be great."

"Cool! I'll be sibling free for the night and we'll pick you up and take you to breakfast in the morning. How's that, Munchkin?"

"That sounds lovely."

"Rupert!"

In an instant, Buffy had bounded across the room and into Giles' arms. They kissed soundly as the others tried not to look too hard.

"Why didn't you tell me you were getting back early, you creep?"

"I wanted to surprise you. And I can see I've got back just in time if that's what you think an appropriate endearment is."

"Oh, I'll have some better ones when we're alone."

He laughed and kissed her again.

Leah closed her book with a thump.

"Come on, Oz. I think we're done with research for the day."

*****

After dinner, Xander got into his robe and set up the VCR. Anya soon joined him on the couch, similarly dressed, and carrying a bottle of massage oil.

"Well, Mrs. Harris, are you ready for a little fun?"

"Yes, I am, if by 'fun' you mean 'sex'."

"Oh yeah, that's what I mean."

He kissed her hungrily, pressing her into the couch. His hand slid to her ripe breast. Anya giggled.

"Xander, what about the movie? I thought we could get some ideas from it."

"Who needs a movie? You give me plenty of ideas. Now where's that oil?"

*****

Oz climbed into bed beside Leah and kissed her deeply.

"So, when do you want to break the big news to the gang?"

"Soon," she told him. "I just want to keep it between us a few more days."

"You'll have to tell your dad soon."

"No way! He'll castrate you and that wouldn't fit with my plans at all."

"Okay, but I think he'll figure it out pretty soon anyway."

"I don't want to think about my dad tonight. I want to think about you. And if you're gonna be castrated soon, I want to use your body while I still can."

"That could probably be arranged."

She brushed her hand against him, feeling the rapidly hardening flesh beneath her fingers. Oz groaned and cupped her breast as he kissed her again and again.

"I can never get enough of you, baby," he whispered.

"You could try."

They kissed and fondled for some minutes. At last Oz moved his hand to the juncture of Leah's thighs. He found her wet and ready for him. He carefully helped her spread her legs and settled himself between them. She reached between them and took his thick cock in her hand to guide him home.

They both moaned in completion as he filled her. Oz began to rock, slowly at first, drawing out the pleasure. Soon, though, her tightness and breathy cries forced him to speed his pace. She moved her hands to cup his buttocks and encourage him to move faster and faster within her.

Leah cried out as she began to pulse around Oz. He sped his thrusts even more. Soon he too shouted his release as his essence filled his lover.

He continued to lay atop her for a moment, then pulled gently out and rolled to her side. They kissed repeatedly as they panted from their efforts. At last Oz let one hand drift to Leah's belly.

"I still can't believe it. A baby. That's cool."

*****

Tara pulled Willow close. She settled her lover's red head against her breast.

"Do you mind? That we can't tonight, with Dawn here?"

"It's totally okay. Sometimes it's actually better to just cuddle."

She reached up for a warm kiss.

"Besides, Dawn will be gone in the morning. It's been a while since we did it then."

Tara smiled lopsidedly.

"You vixen."

"Yup, I'm shameless."

"You're also amazing."

"Amazing how?"

"Six months. It'll be six months next week since you went into rehab. I'm so proud of you."

"If I hadn't done that...I hate to think what I was turning into, Tara. I was so angry and dumb. I don't know how you could come back to me, but I'm so glad you did. All I want now is to make everything up to you and Buffy and Dawn and everybody."

"Shhh, it's okay. We're all okay. That's behind us. And you've been clean all this time. I say we need to party about that. Would you like that?"

"I'm up for a party. Hey, we could hire a magician and make fun of his tricks."

Tara laughed at Willow's bright smile.

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Come here and I'll tell you exactly what I'll do to you when our houseguest goes home."

Their kiss was deep and loving and filled with promise.

*****

Buffy settled herself against Giles on the sofa. She nestled as closely as she could and breathed in the scent of him.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too," he told her as he ran his hand up and down her arm. "But I'm back for good."

"And were you a good boy while you were away?"

"Oh yes. It wasn't easy, but I was. You?"

"I wasn't a boy."

"But were you good? Did you behave?" he nuzzled in her ear. "Or did you give in and touch yourself?"

"Three whole weeks, and I didn't do it even once. I am so never making a promise like that again. I'm ready to explode. You should feel lucky that I didn't just grab you in the shop."

He pulled her close and kissed her deeply. His tongue slipped between her lips to tangle with hers. Buffy whimpered hungrily and pulled him even closer. Giles stood taking Buffy with him and carried her upstairs. When he deposited her on her bed, he loomed over her.

"I want to watch you," he whispered. "Show me what you wanted to do, please."

"Only if you promise to touch me after I do."

"I think that could be arranged."

He kissed her again and then withdrew. She watched him, her eyes heavy lidded with desire. Her hands moved to the buttons of her blouse and undid them quickly. She left it in place, though, and stood to slip off her shoes, and unfasten her jeans. When she'd removed them, she ran one finger slowly down her exposed flesh to the elastic of her frivolous, lacy panties. She toyed with the band, keeping eye contact with Giles. His lust darkened eyes made the hunger in Buffy's breast grow stronger.

She turned her back and let the blouse fall from her shoulders. She knew her panties were virtually transparent from all the moisture between her thighs and her nipples stood out stiff and wanton through her bra. She felt sure Giles' cock was just as hard. She dropped one bra strap from her shoulder as she turned to face him again.

He was breathing heavily and his jeans had a large protrusion in the front. It was all she could do to keep up her show rather than free him and take him in her mouth.

Buffy moistened one fingertip with her tongue. She used it to caress one nipple through the flimsy silk cup of her bra. Giles swallowed hard. She smiled at him and pinched both nipples softly.

"Do you want me to take it off?" she asked.

"I want to see you," he whispered.

A shiver went down her spine at his words. She reached behind herself and unfastened the bra. When it fell, she looked at Giles' face. He gazed at her breasts in wonder, as if he'd never seen them before.

"So beautiful," he groaned.

Buffy felt her knees start to give. She moved to the bed and crawled onto it. She lay back and ran her hands along her sides, barely brushing the swell of her breasts. She slid one finger barely under the elastic of her panties to toy with the soft curls they hid.

"Do you want these on or off?"

Giles made a slightly exasperated noise.

"You always have to ask the most difficult questions when I'm least prepared to answer them."

"On or off?" she demanded with a giggle.

"Leave them for a bit. Tease me."

She blushed even as she smiled at him.

"I think I can do that."

Her hands left her belly and moved to cup her breasts. She flicked her thumbs across her nipples. She groaned and felt another flood between her legs. One hand snaked down to caress her inner thigh. As her fingers trailed up the sensitive skin she felt Giles' eyes follow their progress. His breathing was shallow. She could almost see him trembling with desire. She allowed one finger to slide along the sodden crotch of her panties.

"Oh dear lord," Giles whispered. He swallowed harder than ever.

Buffy smiled and slid her panties off.

"Want to play yet?"

He shook his head.

"I want to watch you come first."

"I almost could from hearing you say that."

"Please."

She moved her hand back to her dripping center and rubbed one finger across her swollen clitoris.

"Oh God," she breathed.

Her hips rocked against her finger of their own accord. Her eyes closed in ecstasy as she neared release. She could vaguely hear Giles undressing himself as she touched her intimacy. Her other hand joined the first and she slipped two fingers into her channel. She was lost to conscious thought. The blood pounded in her veins. She thrust wildly and rubbed herself harder. She heard a primal cry as her inner muscles contracted around her fingers.

In an instant, Giles was at her side kissing her deeply. When she pulled her hand limply from herself, he took it in his own and brought it to his mouth. He sucked her fingers clean of her juices, running his tongue over every inch of her hand lest he miss a single drop.

When he'd finished, he kissed the back of her hand sweetly.

"You're magnificent, Buffy," he told her.

"You're not so bad yourself," she said as she raked her eyes over his naked form. "So, do you think you have enough in you for two times, or are you too jet lagged?"

"What do you want?" he giggled.

"Well, you know what they say. Sauce for the goose and all that."

"So you want a chance to watch for a change, eh?"

"Hey, you've been watching me for years. It's my turn," she grinned.

"I do believe you're right," he told her. "I don't guarantee that I've got two rounds in me tonight, but I'll do my level best."

"Rupert, you haven't had any in three weeks. Knowing your sex drive, I'm betting we won't sleep for at least a week."

"Possibly a fortnight," he agreed blandly.

"What's that?"

"Two weeks."

"Sounds exhausting, but fun. Ready to give me a floorshow?"

In answer he looked at his rigid cock and raised one eyebrow at her.

"Want me across the room or right here?"

"Stay where you are. I want to be able to see you and there's no way I'm putting my glasses back on."

Buffy scooted back against the headboard and pulled Giles' head into her lap.

"How's this?"

He turned his head and kissed her creamy thigh.

"Best seat in the house. Do you have a good enough view?"

"Oh yeah."

She stroked his hair gently as his hands began to explore his body for her pleasure. He ran his fingers through the crisp curls on his chest and brushed his thumbs against his nipples. It excited Buffy to watch Giles do to himself what she loved doing to him. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched one hand trail down his belly. She listened to the soft sounds he made as he touched his body.

"Does it feel good?" she asked him softly. "Do you like to touch yourself?"

"Yes," he whispered as he brought one hand to his cock and began to stroke it firmly.

Buffy tingled with excitement watching Giles pleasure himself. His foreskin slipped down to uncover, then rose to recover the head of his penis with every stroke. She watched in fascination as Giles worked the foreskin back deliberately and swiped his thumb across the head. Then he offered his thumb to her. She delicately licked up the precum, sliding his thumb in her mouth and sucking it gently for a moment in imitation of what she wanted to do for him.

Giles moaned and moved his other hand to his balls. He lifted them and felt their weight. He rolled them in his hand as his hips rose involuntarily. The first hand left Buffy's lips and returned to his cock.

"Can't last much longer," he panted.

Buffy wove her fingers through Giles' hair as he pumped himself harder.

"Don't hold back, Rupert. Come for me."

He began to moan louder with each stroke. Buffy knew that meant he was on the verge. Suddenly, his body stiffened and his hips thrust higher than ever. His breath caught in his throat for a moment before he threw his head back and gave a shout. At the same time, his cock throbbed wildly. Buffy watched the semen spurt from him to coat his belly and chest. With each wave of orgasm he cried out again, each time a little softer, until he gave a final groan and slumped back against her.

Buffy continued to touch Giles softly. She ran her fingers through his hair and petted his face.

"You're so sexy," she told him. "I love you so much."

He took her hand and kissed it.

"I love you, too."

She slid out from under him so she could kiss him. He pulled her tightly to his chest and plundered her lips with his. A moment later, they both began to giggle as they realized he was still covered in his own come.

"You're all sticky," Buffy complained. "Let me take care of it."

With that, she moved down his body and began to lick the semen from his chest and belly. She worked slowly and methodically. Long before she was done, he was hard again and writhing beneath her.

"See?" she said at last. "All better."

"Except," he reminded her as he flipped her on her back, "For what got on you."

Buffy laughed.

"I can't reach that."

"No, but I can."

"Ohmigod, you're not going to..."

She never finished the sentence.

She gasped as he licked his fluids from her body. He nuzzled her breasts, rained sucking kisses along her belly, laved her shoulder. In no time, she was panting and moaning with need. Giles moved his kisses down Buffy's body until he reached her core.

"Oh dear. What a lot there is to clean up here," he teased her.

Buffy spread her thighs further and lifted herself to him.

"Please."

She cried out when his tongue finally made contact with her swollen nether lips. She ground herself against him and clutched the sheets. Giles moaned against her wetness. He thrust his tongue inside her. At last he pulled it out and flicked it repeatedly over her clit. Buffy reached release with a howl that rang through the house. In the back of his mind, Giles found just enough rational thought to be grateful that Dawn was elsewhere. The rest of his mind was filled with the primal triumph of having given Buffy such a powerful orgasm.

He pulled back and gently kissed her thighs. Then he moved up her body and held her, rolling them to their sides. She pulled him closer and kissed him. She rolled on her back and cradled him.

"Now," she commanded.

With a hard kiss, he pushed his way home.

Buffy moaned as Giles filled her to the hilt. The sensation had become familiar over the past four months, but it never failed to take her breath away. As always, Giles petted the hair back from her brow and asked her his usual question.

"Happy?"

"Blissful," she responded as always.

With the first desperate wave of need sated, they took their time with the actual coupling. They rocked slowly and tenderly. Sometimes, they even stopped completely for a moment to kiss languorously.

At length, though, their desires grew more urgent. Giles thrust harder and Buffy begged for more of him. He ground his pelvis against hers, teasing her sensitive clitoris with every stroke. Her cries became incoherent as she neared the edge. Her toes curled with the force of her impending release.

"Rupert!" she cried as she threw back her head.

Giles pushed wildly into her, every thrust driving him nearer to his own orgasm. He groaned louder and louder with every movement of his hips. Buffy was spasming around him. He could feel his cock throbbing with need. Another push and he was there. He roared with the delight of it, the heady rush making him laugh even as he shouted.

He collapsed on Buffy, and rolled them to their sides, hugging her closely. He covered her face in tender kisses, ending with her lips.

"I missed you terribly," he whispered.

"I missed you, too."

She captured the hand that was stroking her cheek and kissed it.

"Don't ever leave me again, Rupert."

"Never. And don't you leave me, either."

She shook her head emphatically.

"Never gonna happen."

She made a face.

"Unless I go take a shower. I'm sweaty and leaking."

"Care for some company?"

"If it's yours."

He stood and scooped her into his arms.

"Come on then, let's get cleaned up. You'll feel better then."

"Silly Rupert," she said as she ruffled his hair affectionately. "All I need to feel better is you. Now get me to the shower before I drip on the carpet."

"Your wish, as always, is my command."

Their laughter rang through the house as he obeyed.

THE END