Title: A Wolf & His Mate
Part: Prologue
Author: Tygerlily
Email: Angeulsblood@yahoo.com
Summary: Oz decides he needs to learn about his wolf half and leaves. He comes home finding things have changed except one thing, that being Buffy. Basically a fic about Buffy/Oz growing relationship.
Pairing: B/Oz (of course) X/A and W/?
Rating: I dunno R possibly NC-17
Spoilers: Wild at Heart
Disclamer: All belong to Joss and co. but since I asked nicely he said I could play with them for awhile for your enjoyment! :-)
Feedback: Is a Must
Distribution: Oh just take it! Just let me know where it's going and make sure my name is on it
Author's Note: *This is a B/Oz fic so there WILL be Willow angst!!!
*I got this idea for this story from another story I read. It's called 'The Dear Diary Series'
*It's like a re-write but not so basically all the credit goes to them.
* Sorry not Beta read
PROLOUGE

*-----*

Oz's POV

*-----*

Personally, I don't really know why I feel this way. All I know is that once I began to walk down the path to my van I knew I had to make one stop before I left Sunnydale. So as I turned the key in the igniton I had only one destination in mind, it just so happend to be the dorm room she and Willow both share.

I never told anyone this but even from the first moment I sensed her, notice how I say sensed not saw. Anyway from the moment I sensed her I was drawn to her. I could feel power coming over her in waves, yet at the same time so much love it was intoxicating.

Don't get me wrong I love Willow more than anything but Veruca was right, the wolf is inside me. I know that eventhough Willow cares for and loves me, she doesn't understand me.

Now before I know it I'm knocking on the door, waiting for her to answer. Normally I'd just walk right in but that was before all the problems started, so now I wait.

The moment she opens the door and recognizes me she flashes me a warm smile. Then suddenly the light in her eyes is gone and in place is an icy stare that for some reason makes my heart hurt all the more.

Eventually she finds her voice. "Oz, Willow isn't here. In fact I'm not quite sure..." I cut her off before she can send me away. "Buffy I know where she is. I was just with her a little while ago. In fact she's probably on her way her right now so I'll make this quick" My voice oddly sounding panicky.

Though she hesitates, she opens the door wider to let me pass and step in the room. I stand in the middle of the room waiting for her to close the door. She does so and then leans back against it.

As I look at her looking at me, again my heart hurts for she looks at me as if I'm nothing more than a typical jerk of a guy. An annoyance of some kind. I want to try to justify my actions and...Veruca, but I know. I know I can't.

After the silence the slayer before me decides it's time to break it. "Well..."

Her voice breaks my musings and I remember that I came here to say something. Which I should probably do before she goes all Jet Li on me.

"Ok, I know I was wrong for keeping Veruca being a wolf a secret and that I should have told you when you asked me that day. Now though the damage has been done and I can't take it back. I many levels I wish I could on others I'm in a sense glad it happened. It made me realize the wolf is always inside me and that is some thing I've got to deal with." After a slight pause he continues. "I just thought that I'd be able to handle it."

I finally raise my eyes to hers and that's when I see it. Her gaze softens and is filled with sympathy. She understands but as soon as it's there she tries to cover it but she knows that I know she understands me. She probably understands me better than anyone else ever could.

After a moment or two I countinue on. "I know all of this does not excuse what I've done. I know that you probably hate me for what I've done to Willow. Having sex with Veruca was..." I stop when I see her hang and shake her head.

"Oz it wasn't that you had sex with Veruca. No matter how much it hurt Willow, that is not the reason I'm angry with you. I'm upset because you lied. We all deserved the truth to know that another wolf was out there. Including Willow, not to mention Giles and myself. Willow could have been killed, what with Veruca and then you turning at the last...I mean I don't think you'd hurt her it's just..." She trailed off but I know what she was trying to say.

"Eventhough I don't like the way you did things, I'm not really able to throw stones either. You were the only one who didn't jump on the 'Lets belittle Buffy Bandwagon' with the whole Angel thing." She zones out for a second probably remember the whole ordeal as if it were yesterday.

That is the moment I know why I came here...to her. I knew she'd understand the reasons why I did what I did. Unlike the others she'd offer me forgiveness instead of guilt. I smile a small smile and she gives one in return. Before she looks at me closely and asked the question I was hoping she wouldn't. "You're leaving aren't you?"

I get up walking toward her I nod in reply "I was just..." I don't get to finish because a sucker punch to my mid-section catches me off guard. I doubles over just before I see the fury in her eyes.

"How the hell could you....You're running away!!! God is that all you guys do, run when things get messed up!" She asked me glaring at me all the while.

I don't know how to explain that I'm not running away, that I'm trying to protect everyone by going away. How do I explain that I need to understand my wolf because it is such a huge part of me.

"Buffy I'm not running away. I know it looks that way now but I'm not running from something, I'm running toward something." I tell her this without any shame because I feel none.

I smile at her knowing she's searching for it. Any sign I might be lying.

She looks at me and says. "You know she has to forgive you for this. It just wouldn't be right because of everything with Xander and all..."

I know she's right but my leaving doesn't really have to do with Willow it has to do with more me. I know Willow told me she understands but I don't think she does. I don't think she can.

"I'm leaving not because I can't be with her. It's because I need to find out who I am, who the wolf is. I've always just been Oz - Willow's boyfriend. I need to know who Oz is and who the wolf is and how we can live in the same body."

I look up and all I see is exceptance shining from her eyes. She begins to bite on her bottom lip. I've noticed that she does that when she's trying to figure out what to say. When she finally looks up with the cutest pout on her lips *Whoa where did that come from*

"You can't leave, Don't go I need you here" She says softly her eyes becoming glassy with a sheen of tears waiting to fall. "I mean who is going to come patroling with me and help me slay shiftty looking benches and trees." She begins to giggle and the laughter is a bit contagious.

This is exactly how I want to leave, how I want to remember her. Laughing and smiling, not angry and upset at me.

I walk towards her, and the door, she moves away from. Inches apart, she tilts her head to the side and sighs. I try for a brave look. You know, that one when a little kid is about to go to his first day of play-group.

"Good Luck." She says, taking my hand and squeezing it lightly. After a moments pause I give her a nod and move towards the door, even though she still has a hold on my hand. Looking back at her I see just in the nick of time as she places her lips against the back of my hand. A lingering moment, then she drops my hand, and gives me a little tiny wave. "Becareful." She adds as I walk through the door and turn to look back at her before the door follows me, closing shut between us.

*-----*

Oz woke from the light sleep he'd been in, glacing at his watch he saw that it was only another half hour before he landed in Sunnydale, California.

Thirty minutes until he was home.

Until he saw her again, with that he settled back into his seat and closed his eyes allowing himself to dream once more.

*-----*

END OF PROLOGUE

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