* * *

"Hello?"

"Angel? It’s Cordelia… what are you doing?"

"Reading"

"Oh, good. Nothing important. I need you to come to my party"

"Cordelia," Angel sighed into the phone, "I already told you, I’m not interested in attending the party"

"But Angel, Buffy’s here and she’s having an awful time"

"I sincerely doubt that" He replied honestly. Buffy was a people person and probably had several guys crowded around her, ready to ask her out. Which was precisely why he didn’t want to go.

"She is…. Angel she is practically in tears"

Angel felt a pang in his heart, but reminded himself that Cordelia wasn’t above lying to get Buffy together with him. "Why would she be crying?"

"Because, this is her first party without Giles. She used to be a couple and now she’s not. She’s out of practice at being single and Jack has some vulture-like friends that keep hitting on her and she’s very uncomfortable. But if you were here she could talk to you and seeing you with her would keep the vultures away!"

Angel sighed; Cordelia would get her way once more.

* * *

"Angel! What a surprise!" Cordelia exclaimed.

Angel rolled his eyes at Cordelia, but figured she must be acting for Buffy’s benefit.

"Honey, she’s not even in here" Jack informed his girlfriend as he walked up behind her.

"Yeah, but she still might be able to hear me" Cordelia quietly replied.

"Angel, how you doing?" Jack asked as he held his hand out.

Angel shook it; the men had met a few times before. "I’m all right"

"Hey, if it helps, Cordelia’s not exaggerating, Buffy really could use your company"

"Where is she?"

* * *

"Buffy, there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you" Angel said loudly as he walked up to a very uncomfortable looking Buffy in the hallway near the bathroom. She’d been cornered by yet another of Jack’s friends.

Looking up at him with gratitude and relief, she smiled and replied. "I was just using the ladies room, and then Alex here and I got to talking"

"Oh, well I missed you" Angel replied, kissing her softly on the cheek.

Buffy felt her skin burn, but reminded herself that it was only for Alex’s benefit.

Alex soon excused himself, leaving Buffy and Angel alone.

Buffy smiled shyly. "Thanks.. for… you know."

"No problem, it was my pleasure" Angel replied with a smile of his own.

"So… what are you doing here?" Buffy asked as the two walked into the living room and sat on the couch. Everyone else was closer to the kitchen so they had some privacy.

"I’m here for the party" Angel lied.

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "You are?"

"Sure… I love to celebrate Independence Day" He added. At her incredulous look, he confessed. "Okay, Cordelia called and told me that you weren’t having any fun, and that there were some…. Unsavory gentlemen… bothering you"

Buffy smiled a bit sadly. "Sorry you had to interrupt your evening for me"

"It’s fine. Hey, I told you I would be there whenever you needed me, and you did need me, so here I am"

Buffy sighed. "Maybe I should just go home"

"Don’t do that… I’d be so disappointed. I came in here looking forward to an evening spent with you"

Buffy shook her head, but couldn’t help but smile. The two spent the next hour talking about various topics, amazed at how well they still connected. When it was time to head out to the backyard to watch the fireworks in the sky, the former lovers continued to talk. Cordelia just smiled and carried Austin out to watch.

When the show was over, everyone wandered back inside. Austin planted himself on Buffy’s lap, content to sit there quietly as his mother continued to talk. Seeing that he would be falling asleep soon, and everyone left at the party was getting pretty drunk, the both of them decided to call it a night.

Angel helped by carrying a nearly asleep Austin to Buffy’s car as she carried Melissa in her carrier and the bag she had with everything the kids needed. He insisted on waiting to watch her pull away before he’d leave.

It was a good thing he did, because when Buffy tried to start the car….. it didn’t. Angel checked out the engine, but couldn’t really tell what the problem was in the dark. He convinced Buffy to let him drive her home and he’d work on her car the next day.

They quickly got the kids in their carseats in the back of Angel’s car. The car ride was made in an easy silence, since they didn’t want to wake the children and they were tired anyway. Once they got to Buffy’s apartment, they carried the kids inside and put them to bed.

Once they were all settled, Buffy offered Angel a cup of coffee. He agreed, so they sat together on the living room couch with the news playing on the television quietly.

"That was very sweet of you to interrupt your plans to spend the night with me" She told him.

Angel shrugged. "My plans consisted solely of sitting home and reading"

"Really?" Buffy asked, trying not to pry too much. "I would have figured you’d have a date tonight"

Angel looked at her incredulously. "It’s a Wednesday night… I would never date in the middle of the week. Besides, I don’t date. Haven’t been on one in a *long* time… like eight years. Well, that’s if patrolling with you counted as a date"

Buffy smiled. "I think so"

"Oh good…. Now I’m not a *total* loser" Angel joked.

Buffy laughed softly and he smiled. "I love it when you do that"

"Do what?" He asked.

"Smile…. You have the greatest smile… you should do it more often" She told him.

Angel flushed and looked down. "I like it when you smile too. And when you’re happy and your eyes sparkle. It seemed like you never looked that way for so long. I used to catch it often when you first came to Sunnydale… up until your seventeenth birthday. Then I didn’t see it for a long time. It must have been… five years after that when I saw it once more. When you were with Giles…" He told her as he set his cup down on the coffee table. "I couldn’t actually see your eyes but I could tell that they sparkled. You had a glow. And now I get to see your eyes sparkle again when you look at Melissa or Austin"

Buffy looked at him with astonishment. He was so observant of the smallest details he constantly amazed her.

"I hope that someday you can look at me and I can make your eyes sparkle again" He added wistfully, but instantly regretted it. "I’m sorry, I never should have… I don’t want to pressure you. It’s too soon"

Buffy shook her head and set her coffee on the table, taking his hand in hers. "It’s all right. I… think that someday you will. I’m just trying to make it later rather than sooner. Not only do I not want to end up hurting my kids or you or myself by rushing into a relationship, but I want to respect Giles’ memory"

"I understand" Angel nodded as he replied honestly.

"I know you do. That’s part of why you’re so special" Buffy smiled.

Her blue eyes connected with his brown ones and they lost themselves in each other. They both leaned forward and their lips met in a haze of passion. Angel’s hands moved up to run his fingers through her sun-kissed hair. Buffy moved her hands over his chest, feeling his firm muscles under his shirt, before they stopped to rest on his shoulders.

Slowly, they pulled apart and looked at each other in shock. Neither could believe they had let things go so far.

"Oh Buffy I am so sorry!" Angel apologized.

"No, it wasn’t your fault, I never should have done that. Oh God, I’m supposed to have more will power than this!" Buffy began to sob. "I’m a bad person, I’m a disgrace to Giles!"

Angel’s heart broke; nothing made him sadder than the sight of Buffy crying. "Buffy, please don’t. Giles doesn’t want you to do this"

"I’m like a slut or something" Buffy continued to sob.

Angel wanted to comfort her, but it would probably be a bad idea to touch her under the circumstances.

"Buffy, you aren’t a slut. You have a lot going on in your life right now. You’re still trying to adjust to not being with Giles, and you just had a baby two weeks ago. There are so many changes, and change is always disrupting. Everything will be fine. We’ll just forget this happened, all right?"

Buffy smiled gratefully. "Thank you"

* * *

"Hello?"

"What’s up?" Cordelia asked on her end of the telephone. It was her first day back at work since Giles had died, so when she’d had a spare moment, she’d called her friend to check how things were going.

"Everything is fine" Buffy replied. "Austin and Melissa and I were just getting ready to go to the park"

"You sure you don’t need me?"

"No, I have it all under control. Cordelia, I have to live the rest of my life without a husband, I need to be able to take care of my kids alone" Buffy sighed as she cradled the cordless telephone between her head and her shoulder and carried Melissa to her changing table and gave her one more fresh diaper before they left.

"Well, Angel is so not going to be happy when he finds me here and not there"

"He’ll be fine"

"He’ll probably go over there himself to help you, whether you want help or not"

Buffy felt her heart skip a beat, even as her mind hoped he stayed far far away from her. "He won’t, trust me. I know Angel *very* well and he’ll be keeping his space from me"

"All because you guys kissed?"

"Yes, we’re doing the space thing" Buffy told her as she finished diapering the baby.

"I don’t see why you are making such a big deal about this!"

"Cordelia, I am supposed to be in mourning for a year or something, and Giles has only been gone for a month"

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "You are so big on guilt, that’s a major flaw you have, Buffy. You loved Giles so much, we all know that but I guarantee he doesn’t want you to mope around for a year or whatever. Why can’t you mourn him while you work things out with Angel?"

"Because I just need time alone. I need time to get it together with me and my kids, then I can decide if or how Angel could fit in my life"

"If you say so…. Crap! Here he comes… I guess I should get off the phone"

"Okay, talk to you later"

"Yeah, I’ll call you…. I’m pretty bored here"

Cordelia hung up the telephone and smiled sweetly up at her boss as he walked past her desk towards his office without noticing her.

He halted and turned to look at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Working. Remember, I’m your executive assistant?"

"Yes, and I remember assigning you to assist Buffy"

"Yes, but she says she doesn’t need me anymore"

Angel sighed and shook his head.

Cordelia grinned and held up the telephone. "You could always call her"

"I’ll do it from my office"

"Oh, yeah, good idea. You two need privacy" Cordelia teased.

Angel ignored her and walked into his office, plopping down in his desk chair and picking up the telephone. He hesitated for a few seconds, then admonished himself. He and Buffy were friends; friends called each other on the telephone.

He quickly dialed the telephone number, holding his breath as the telephone rang.

Buffy was double-checking to make sure she had everything for their picnic lunch in the basket, as well as the diaper bag all stocked, when the telephone rang. She sighed loudly and hoped it wasn’t Cordelia again. She’d never get her off the telephone.

"Hello?"

"Buffy"

Her entire body tensed when she heard his voice.

"Hi Angel"

"Are you all right?"

"I’m fine…. Although I am getting a teensy bit tired of having everyone giving me worried looks and concerned phone calls" She teased, trying to keep it lighthearted.

Angel smiled. "I’m sorry… I was just enjoying not having Cordelia around so I was just making sure I couldn’t pawn her off on you anymore"

Buffy laughed. "Why Angel you’re downright funny!"

"Thank you" He replied his heart swelling. It was the simplest thing, he had made her laugh but it meant so much to him. "Do you promise if you need anything, anything at all, even someone to watch the kids for half an hour so you can rest, you’ll call one of us?"

"I do. Now I need to get these children to the park for our picnic"

"All right, have a good time"

"Thanks" Buffy replied. "Call me later?"

"Sure" Angel replied honestly. There was nothing he’d rather do then talk to Buffy. Well…. Almost nothing.

* * *

The week went by quickly, and Buffy handled single parenthood quite well. Cordelia was surprised to find the house all in order when she arrived to pick Buffy up that Friday night. Austin was sitting peacefully on the couch and Melissa was sound asleep in her crib when Buffy let her in.

"I must admit, I am impressed"

"You doubted me?" Buffy replied with a smile.

Cordelia shrugged. "Usually, homes with two kids looked trashed 99.9% of the time. Even with two parents"

"Well, Austin has been very good about helping me this week" Buffy told her as she kissed her son on the head. "Caylee should be here any minute now, you’ll behave for her won’t you?"

Austin nodded slowly, engrossed in his television show.

"Good boy" Buffy replied, then looked back up at Cordelia. "Did you pick a movie?"

Before Cordelia could answer, there was a knock at the door. It was Caylee, right on time. Buffy gave her a few quick instructions and told Austin good night before she and Cordelia left.

Cordelia drove them to a nearby bistro. They ate their dinner as Cordelia told her friend about everything going on at the office and with Jack. Buffy loved to tease her that she and Jack were practically a married couple, although she didn’t understand why Cordelia feared marriage so.

Deciding to change the subject, Cordelia asked "So, what’s going on with you and Angel? I’m assuming you two are getting along because he still has this annoying giddy look at times"

Buffy gave her a small smile. "We have talked on the phone a couple times…"

"A couple?" Cordelia asked, her eyebrow quirked.

"Okay, once or twice a day. We’re just very good friends"

"Good friends that kiss"

"Kissed. One time. We haven’t even seen each other since then, except for the next day when he brought me to your place to pick up my car"

"Could that be because you don’t trust yourself to be near him without kissing him again? Or maybe it’s more a fear of ripping your clothes off?"

Buffy gave her an admonishing look. "Shut up"

"I only state the obvious"

"You only state the demented little thoughts in your mind"

"Yeah right, that’s what you love most about me. I am direct and honest when you need me to be"

Buffy shook her head and sighed. "Actually… what would you think if I said I was considering moving out of the apartment… maybe getting a little house?"

"Why would you do that? It’s a great apartment, and with a house you have a lawn and a lot of other worries"

"I know…" Buffy replied, looking down, "but that apartment is so full of Giles. It’s hard sometimes, because everywhere I look I see him"

Cordelia took a deep breath. "Does this have something to do with kissing another man in the same place you kissed Giles?"

"No…yes… I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to get a new place just so I can have sex with Angel guilt free… but I know that I will never be able to move on with another man as long as I am in that apartment. So… I figure sooner or later I will need a new place, but the question is, should I do it now, or wait?"

"I don’t think that’s an answer I can give you" Cordelia replied.

Buffy nodded. "I know…. I wish you could, though. It’s somewhat hard to be the only adult, the only one who can take care of anything. This is probably going to sound really anti-feminist movement, but I really miss having Giles there making decisions. I mean, he never made all the decisions, but he was there to support me and to help make them. He helped carry the weight"

Cordelia nodded. "I know what you’re saying. It’s easier when you aren’t the only one in charge. It’s pretty stressful to be responsible for two children, and when you have someone else to reassure that you're doing it right, it’s a lot easier"

"I guess I better get used to it" Buffy replied, laughing sadly. "I really have nothing to complain about, at least I had Giles for when Austin was a baby. There are women with more kids than me that *never* had a man around"

"I have to disagree… you have a right to complain. You got cheated" Cordelia replied. "However, I like to believe that the fates are trying to make it up to you by sending you Angel"

"Cordelia, I know better than most that when you find someone you love you shouldn’t waste any time…. But I can’t rush into anything with Angel. I need some time"

"Well, trust me, Angel will give you time. He’ll give you whatever you need"

Buffy smiled dreamily. "I know… he and Giles are a lot alike, actually"

"They are, aren’t they?" Cordelia answered. "I never really thought about it, but they’ve both got the ‘noble, sensitive, perfect’ thing down pat"

"Maybe I could just go look around at some houses on the market…. Can’t hurt to look"

"Nope, it can’t. Want me to come with you?"

"Of course, you’re pretty much my fashion consultant, and I know fashion can’t end with your clothes"

"Oooh… I’ve taught you well" Cordelia grinned.

* * *

The next day the two women set out to find a house. They were well prepared, with a list of things that Buffy required her home to have, along with a well-stocked diaper bag to take care of both children. At first Austin was well behaved, obediently following his mother as they wandered through the homes with a real estate agent. But after a couple of hours and it got closer to noon, his lunch and naptime, he got crankier. For a while, it was enough that Cordelia carried him around, but after a while he started fussing.

They decided to take a break for lunch, as soon as Austin ate his food, he was out. Buffy was prepared to stop for the day, but the agent told her she had a house that would fit Buffy to a T. Before Buffy could even argue, Cordelia agreed that they would look.

The agent hadn’t lied. It was a one story, four bedrooms, two and a half bath home with a large backyard for the kids. Buffy found it beautiful, and exactly what she’d wanted.

* * *

"So…. feel any different now that you’re a homeowner?" Cordelia laughed as she took a swig of her wine cooler.

Buffy laughed with her. "It’s not official yet, so no. However, once I pack up all my stuff here, while taking care of an infant and a toddler, then unpack it all there, with aforementioned infant and toddler in tow, I am sure I will have the look of total exhaustion homeowners often possess"

"You know what you need? A big strong man to help you!"

"Cordelia, it’s not nice to offer your boyfriend up to help me move without asking him first" Buffy replied, knowing that Cordelia hadn’t been referring to Jack.

"Ha ha… very funny, Buffy. You don’t think that as soon as Angel finds out you are moving he won’t insist on helping?"

Buffy sipped her own wine cooler before replying. "It doesn’t matter if he insists, because I can insist that I want to do it alone"

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Buffy, we all know that you are strong and independent. Now prove to us that you aren’t pig headed and will allow others to give you a hand and make your life easier. Or do it to make the move easier for the kids" Laughing, she added, "You owe one to Melissa, since the poor baby has to drink your milk and you’re drinking alcohol"

Buffy frowned. "I’m a terrible mother"

"Oh great, here we go again. Another brood-fest. Between you and Angel it’s amazing that I don’t need anti-depressants"

"I’m sorry…. I’m not very good company, I suppose"

"You know what you need?"

"What?"

"Fun!" Cordelia grinned. "Jack has tickets to a… damn I can’t remember the guy’s name… but he has four tickets to their concert this Friday. We were going to double with a couple that Jack knows, but they can’t go, so we have two extra tickets. You can come with us…. You and Angel"

"A double date?!"

"If that’s what you want to call it. Personally I didn’t think you’d want to date, but if you do I say go for it!" Cordelia teased.

"I’ll pass, no thanks"

"Oh come on Buffy, you and Angel are friends, you said it yourself"

"Yeah, but you and Jack are a couple"

"So! Remember when I dated." Cordelia shuddered "Xander…. You and Willow used to come to the Bronze with us and it was no big deal"

"Willow is a girl. Angel is a boy"

"Okay, well what if you had come with us and Oz had come with us?"

Buffy was about to argue, but knew Cordelia was right. "But it was different"

"Whatever. We’ll be here at six to pick you up. The concert is at eight so the four of us can grab some dinner. Do you want to call Angel about it or should I?"

Buffy just gave her a dirty look.

"I’ll mention it to him. I don’t trust you" Cordelia grinned, then glanced at her watch. "I better get going. You guys wore me out today!"

"Don’t let the door hit you on the ass" Buffy replied, smiling sweetly.

"Cute" Cordelia answered, getting up from the couch and picking up her purse.

Buffy got up as well. "Drive careful and call me when you get home"

"You got it…. Mom"

* * *

Cordelia came in the door and was immediately captured in her boyfriend’s strong embrace. He kissed her fiercely.

"I missed you today" He told her.

Cordelia smiled, turning on the charm. "I missed you too…. How about we spend the entire day tomorrow in bed?"

"Mmm… you know I love that idea" Jack grinned, then looked down at her suspiciously. "What are you going to try to talk me into doing?"

"You know how you’re getting tickets for you and I to the Ian Bradley concert Friday from your friend with connections?"

"Yeah…"

"I need you to get four seats together…. Please?"

Jack sighed. "This is something you’re doing to get Angel and Buffy together, aren’t you?"

Cordelia grinned. "You know me so well!"

"Cordy, Honey, maybe you should just leave them alone? I mean Buffy’s husband died pretty recently, and it’s not like Angel is going to get tired of waiting if they don’t start a romantic relationship next week"

"They still need a little push! Buffy bought a house today, she’s moving in on the 28th!"

"That’s great for Buffy"

"And Angel! Because now Buffy won’t see Giles everywhere she looks and she won’t feel compelled to close herself off because she feels like she owes him something"

Jack should his head. She was incorrigible.

* * *

The next Friday, Cordelia pulled a last minute whammy on her friends, calling Angel and ordering him to go pick up Buffy and they’d meet at the restaurant. She opted not to call Buffy, not only because she feared telling her about her latest ploy, but because she didn’t trust her to stick around if Angel was picking her up.

When the two arrived at the restaurant, both appeared not upset at all, she was surprised. Little did she know that they had hatched a plan to teach her a lesson on the car ride over. Buffy flirted shamelessly with the waiter, and Angel appeared completely uncaring.

When they got to the concert, Cordelia couldn’t even enjoy the show because she was too preoccupied by Angel really obviously checking out every girl that walked by and Buffy letting some guy hang all over her.

After the concert was over, they all went and got coffee together. Buffy began babbling about how wonderful Elliot was and Angel ogled another girl that passed by.

Cordelia couldn’t take it anymore. "Ahhhh! What is your problem?!"

The three of them looked at her as though she’d lost her mind.

"Buffy, Angel, you guys love each other. I mean, hello, it’s pulling teeth to get you two to do anything *together*, how can you like other people?!"

Buffy shrugged. "I think we got so sick of being thrown together…. We don’t even want to be together at all anymore"

Cordelia looked at her in disbelief.

"I told you so" Jack admonished from his seat next to her.

Across the table, Buffy couldn’t contain her laughter any longer. Angel and Jack soon joined in.

Cordelia narrowed her eyes. "What is so funny?"

Buffy tried to answer her, but couldn’t stop laughing. Cordelia crossed her arms over her chest and watched the three of them for a few moments before they started to calm down.

"Oh God, the look on your face was priceless" Buffy finally said.

"So this was supposed to be some ‘lesson’ for me, was it?" Seeing them nod, she added, in a humbled voice. "Lesson learned"

* * *

Buffy soon moved into her new home, trying to keep the tears of leaving the apartment to a minimum. She kept reminding herself that Giles would want her to move on. That’s the way he’d always been in life, he’d never let her wallow in her pain, he’d comfort her, then help her get through it. And if she stayed in the apartment they’d moved into when they’d married, the apartment where they’d conceived their first child and brought him home, the apartment where they had conceived their daughter….. she’d forever be remembering those special moments.

With the help of Angel, Cordelia, and Jack, the move hadn’t been too difficult. Cordelia had discreetly packed up Giles things; Buffy hadn’t even touched them since he’d died. They soon resided in a trunk placed at the foot of Buffy’s bed, upon her insistence. Cordelia didn’t see the harm; her friend wouldn’t be reminded of her deceased husband unless she chose to be.

Angel came over every few days, to help with this or that. Buffy was skilled when it came to hammering or painting, and she was still quite strong, but it was a relief to have another adult to talk to for a while. She wasn’t sure whether or not she wanted to go back to her job. Giles had left her financially secure so that she’d never *have* to work.

Before she knew it, summer was gone and fall had arrived. The air had grown rather chilly at night, but it wasn’t too cold. Buffy loved nothing more than to go sit out on her back porch at night after the kids had gone to bed. Angel would often sit with her. At times she was almost tempted to ask if he’d like to use the guest bedroom at night, she was so reluctant to see him go.

For Halloween, Buffy dressed Austin up as a dog, as he’d asked. Dogs were his new obsession and Buffy wondered how long she could go without getting them a pet. Cordelia offered to take him trick or treating while Buffy handed out candy, and Buffy had agreed, half expecting to see Angel appear at the door after Cordelia had called him to tell him about an ‘emergency’ so that he and Buffy would once again be thrown together. But Cordelia had improved, accepting the fact that if Buffy and Angel were meant to get back together, they would have to do it themselves.

Buffy shook her head when she realized that every time the doorbell rang she hoped that it was Angel. She had moved past her guilt but now she was trying to let him know that she was ready to do the relationship thing. She wanted to take it slow, and she knew Angel would agree to that, but she just couldn’t seem to approach him. She felt ridiculous; she was a grown woman, not a shy teenage girl.

Cordelia brought Austin home around eight that night and the boy went right to sleep, not even eating any candy before bed. The two women had some hot chocolate before Cordelia headed on home, since she had work the next day.

Buffy headed into her bedroom, pulling the covers down, intending on changing into her pajamas and reading until she grew tired enough to sleep, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. She opened it and was surprised to find Angel on the other side of the threshold.

She smiled when she saw him, looking gorgeous in black duster. As she let him in, she greeted him. "Hi, nice surprise finding you here"

"Hey… is this too late? Because I can leave if you want…" Angel replied.

Buffy shook her head. "Please don’t…. I enjoy your company. Let me take your coat"

Angel pulled the duster off and handed it to her. After she hung it in the hall closet, she asked, "Did you want cocoa or coffee or something?"

"No, I’m fine" Angel replied, shaking his head.

"Okay…. Let’s go sit down then"

The moved to the living room, positioning themselves on the couch so that they faced each other.

"I’m glad you came tonight… there’s something I’ve wanted to talk to you about…. I just never have the nerve" Buffy told him shyly.

Angel felt his nerves tighten, unable to shake his irrational fear that she’d tell him to get out of her life.

"I think that I’m ready…. To… see you. Well, I already see you, but… I mean…. do you know what I mean?" She asked nervously.

Angel nodded, surprised at her revelation. "You want to maybe date?"

"Yeah…" Buffy replied. "Oh, unless you don’t want to, because that’s pretty rude of me to assume you do!"

Angel smiled. "Of course I do. Not only are you the only woman I ever loved…. You’re smart and funny and beautiful"

Buffy looked down, blushing. "You don’t have to say that to make me feel better"

Angel placed his hand under her chin and made her look at him. "I’m not…. I’m saying it because it’s the truth"

Buffy melted in the warmth of his eyes and her eyes captured him and pulled him to her. Their mouths found each other and they again became absorbed in a passion-filled kiss.

When they eventually pulled away, Angel searched her eyes for any sign of regret, but all he found was desire and….. perhaps love…. but he didn’t want to expect so much so soon.

She stood up and held her hand out to him. She couldn’t be doing what it seemed she was doing, but he took her proffered hand anyway.

She led him out of the living room and past all the other bedrooms to her. Angel was numb, never in a million years had he imagined he would end up there when he’d come over that evening. Buffy shut the door behind them, and kissed his lips softly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked in a soft voice.

Buffy nodded, making sure to let him see the certainty in her eyes. She began unbuttoning his shirt, removing it from his body and tossing it over her shoulder. She knelt down to untie his shoes, which he promptly kicked off his feet. She made short work of his pants and socks, gently pushing him onto his back on her bed.

He watched with an anticipating smile on his face as she unbuttoned her blouse and let it fall off of her before she reached behind her and unzipped her pants, letting them fall to the ground as well and leaving her clad only in a lacy white bra and matching panties. She was a goddess. His goddess.

Finally, she climbed on the bed as well, crawling up to the head so that she could pepper his face with hot kisses. He tried to pull her on top of him, but she evaded his grasp and moved towards the foot of the bed, flashing him a wicked grin.

She quickly tugged his boxers off him, freeing his straining erection. She licked her lips as she took sight of it, standing high and proud. Angel almost lost it right then. She knelt between his legs and placed one soft kiss on the very tip of his penis before she opened her mouth and engulfed him. She bobbed her head up and down, taking more and more of his length in his mouth. She was determined to take all of him.

Angel groaned as she deep throated him; gone was the naïve, inexperienced young girl he’d last made love to. She began to gently scrape her teeth over his shaft before she began to lick and suck on his velvety sac. When she moved her mouth lower and began rubbing her tongue on the skin between his balls and testicles, Angel gasped. She worked him into a frenzy, pushing him to the brink of ecstasy.

"Buffy… I’m… going to…. come" He groaned.

"S’okay" She replied, moving her mouth back to his penis, clamping her lips around the head and firmly squeezing his balls. He gripped the bedcovers in his hands as he came, spurting his seed into her mouth. She swallowed every drop. As Angel relaxed back on the bed, Buffy cleaned every drop if his release off him and wiped her mouth, looking him in the eyes.

Angel had never seen any woman do anything sexier. He held out his arms and was pleased when she moved into them, lying against his chest as he hugged her tightly. However, he soon released her so that he could push her onto her back and move down the length of her body. Smiling seductively at her, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties, then tugged them down her slim legs. He lay on his stomach between her legs, placing her thighs over his shoulders before he gave one long, painfully slow lick to her slit.

Buffy hissed and arched up. Angel felt himself growing hard once more, loving how responsive she was. He separated her lips with his fingers and began exploring her depths. Buffy moved her hands down to try and clutch the back of his head as she lifted her hips and ground herself into his face, but he batted her hands away, intending on teasing her mercilessly.

She began to quietly beg him, soft sobs issuing forth from her mouth. Angel gave in and took her clit on his mouth, suckling it before he scraped it with his teeth. Buffy went off like a rocket, gasping and shaking on the bed as her lover crawled over her body. He pulled her into a sitting position, wrapping his arms around her and embracing her before he unsnapped his bra. He kissed her deeply, allowing her to taste herself on his tongue as he slid her bra straps down her arms. Pulling back, Angel was amazed by her beauty. Her face was glistening with sweat, her lips swollen from their kisses, and her body perfect, almost exactly as it had been when she was seventeen. However, motherhood had given her larger breasts, breasts he couldn’t stop himself from licking a bit of the salty sweat off.

Buffy held his head to her chest, the pleasure lulling her into a daze. He was so gorgeous, every time she saw him he seemed more amazing looking. And for him to be so generous, so sensitive, so loving….. it was extraordinary. He pulled his head away from her and gently pushed her back down onto the bed. As he knelt between her legs and lay her thighs over his, Buffy almost came just looking at his sculpted chest, sweat slicked and looking oh-so delicious.

Gripping her hips, he pulled her onto him, taking pleasure in her moans of delectation. He started slowly, filling her slick, hot body with long strokes. She moved her hands to his hips and began to pull him towards her, urging him to go faster. He began fucking her with more speed and force, both racing to their orgasms.

"Oh Angel…. Yes…" She groaned, then began to roll her hips clockwise. Angel got the hint and started moving his hips counter-clockwise.

She began to come, her muscles clamping down on him. He was so close, so very close. He bent down and kissed her deeply, then felt her hand move between his legs and squeeze his sac. He gasped as climax hit his body roughly, having the most powerful orgasm in his long life.

Angel collapsed on top of Buffy, allowing her to hold his weight for a moment before her rolled over and pulled her with him. She pulled the covers over them as she snuggled down. He moved his hand to the side if her face brushing back a stray hair with his thumb.

"You okay?"

She nodded. "Better than okay"

"Good" He smiled. "I love you"

"I love you too" She replied, smiling back at him as a tear streaked down her face.

He caught the tear with his thumb. "You’re regretting it"

Buffy rolled to lie on her back beside him. "I’m sorry… I feel bad. I feel like it’s unfair to him that I get to love you that I get to be with you…"

Angel lay on his side, looking down at her. "You think Giles would want you to be alone for the rest of your life? That he would want you to never love or be happy again?"

"Rationally, I know he’d want the best for me and the kids…. But I just can’t seem to be rational anymore" She replied as a few more tears trailed down her face.

Angel got out of the bed and Buffy feared he was mad and going to leave her, which was ludicrous since a part of her didn’t want her to want him to stay.

He walked over to wear his pants lay on the floor as he began explaining "This is the reason I came here tonight. I thought that if I showed this to you… it might make things easier for you"

He walked back to the bed and handed her a folded paper. She took it from him and sat up as she unfolded it and he sat beside her.

It was a letter. A letter from Giles. She ran her finger delicately of the loops and curves of the words on the paper. She could tell from the way it was worn that it had been folded and unfolded quite a bit. Angel had read it many times.

Buffy read it twice, her eyes lingering on certain words and sentences. Finally, she looked up at Angel. "Is this why you came to see me? You felt obligated?"

Angel sighed and tried to find the words to explain why he’d done it. "I came to see you because I love you. I don’t want to say it’s because this letter was like giving me the right, but it did make me feel like it was all right for me to come and see you and eventually have a relationship with you. If I hadn’t received it, I might have had some reservations…. Merely because of my own guilt"

Buffy nodded in understanding. "And you figured showing it to me might help me not feel so guilty?"

"Yeah, I thought if you saw that one of Giles’ last wishes was for you to be with me… you wouldn’t feel so bad. I just hope it didn’t bring you any more pain"

Buffy smiled gratefully. "No… this means so much to me. I have it in writing, his writing… so I know that he really wouldn’t hate me for loving you. I know he would want me to love you"

Angel smiled, relieved and hugged her tightly. Buffy hugged him back and kissed his shoulder, before she decided to get everything off her chest at once.

"There’s something we need to talk about" Buffy said, as she pulled away so she could look Angel in the eyes.

Angel felt a bit nervous again as he waited to hear her latest revelation. "Okay"

"I love you…. Tremendously. But I love Giles too. I never thought it possible, but you can love two people incredibly at the same time. Now, obviously, my love for Giles isn’t an obstacle in the sense that I have to choose which of you to be with… but if you want someone who loves you and only you…. I’ll understand. I mean, just because I love Giles doesn’t mean I love you any less… but you do deserve to have someone’s entire heart, because you are a wonderful man"

Angel held her chin in his hand. "You’re actually telling me that you aren’t sure you’re good enough for *me*?"

Buffy smiled. "I don’t see why I deserve to have two amazing men in my lifetime"

"Well, I have to argue with you, there. You’re pretty amazing yourself" He told her, planting a kiss on her lips. "And you’re the only woman I will *ever* want"

As he lay her, back on the bed, kissing her passionately, all thoughts of being undeserving and betrayal left their heads.

* * *

Angel awoke, disoriented in the dark bedroom. He remembered that he was at Buffy’s, in her bed, without her. He glanced at the clock and found it was merely three in the morning. He didn’t want to believe that she’d left him in there because she didn’t want to be with him, but it was a distinct possibility. He got out of bed and slid on his pants, then left the room in search of his lover.

He didn’t have to go far, because just down the hall as he was passing Melissa’s room, Buffy called him.

"Hey"

He stopped and turned, finding her in the baby’s room, nursing her in the rocking chair. He entered slowly, unsure of whether or not she would want him in there. But she merely smiled up at him as she continued to feed the child.

"Did she wake you? I tried to get to her before the crying woke you up"

Angel shook his head. "I woke up alone and went to look for you… to make sure you were okay"

"I’m better than okay" She smiled more widely at him. "If you want, you can sit with me" She told him, nodding her head towards a cushioned chair a few feet away. "Of course, if you want to go to bed, I will totally understand"

"I couldn’t sleep without you" He smiled back at her sitting in the chair.

"Did you have any plans for tomorrow night?" She asked him in a low voice.

Angel smiled playfully. "Not yet, but I hope to have some soon with you"

Buffy laughed. "I hope this doesn’t disappoint you, but actually I promised to take Austin to a birthday party for another little kid tomorrow night"

"And I would be disappointed, why?"

"Because I’m inviting you on a ‘fun-filled’ evening with me, the baby, and a bunch of toddlers"

"But I love you, the baby, and Austin. I’d love to join you"

* * *

"Good morning" Angel greeted his assistant, with a huge grin on his face, as he breezed past her and into the office.

Cordelia stared after him, stunned. Angel…. Arriving at the office in the morning…. smiling? Something very odd was going on.

She decided to call her best friend, and was very annoyed when Buffy didn’t pick up. She left a message on the machine for Buffy to call her, then hung up and sighed. She hated not being aware!

* * *

"Austin are you taking care of the baby?" Buffy asked, smiling as she watched her son gently rock Melissa’s carseat from his own.

"Yes Mama" Austin replied, looking up at her in the driver’s seat as they headed to the store to pick up a gift for Spencer, the birthday boy.

After the two of them had finally gotten out of bed, Buffy had dressed Austin. She was a bit apprehensive of how he’d react to seeing Angel as he left the bedroom and talked to them for a few moments before heading to his own place to shower and get some clean clothes. When Austin had only been pleased and seemed truly excited to see him there, she felt a lot better. The child didn’t really understand what was going on, he hadn’t even reacted when Angel had kissed her goodbye as she’d dropped him off at his office after picking him up at his apartment so the four of them could go out for breakfast together. All he knew was that Angel was nice to him, and was quiet like him. Austin liked that.

Buffy heard her cell phone ringing, so she pulled it out of her purse and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"What is going on?"

"Um… I’m taking the kids to the store to get a birthday gift for Austin’s friend?" Buffy replied, unsure of what the overly anxious Cordelia meant.

"Not that! Why is Angel in such a good mood?" Cordelia replied, exasperated.

"I don’t know" Buffy replied coyly. "He can’t just be in a good mood?"

"No, of course not! And I just know that if he’s in one, you have something to do with it…. So spill!"

"Cordelia, I have no clue what you are talking about" Buffy replied as Melissa started to cry. "I better let you get back to work. I’ll call you later!" She added cheerfully before turning the phone off. It would be best not to tell Cordelia at work where she would surely blurt something out in front of all Angel’s employees. If he wanted them to know, he could tell her.

* * *

‘We’re gonna see Uncle Angel?" Austin asked from his spot in the stroller as Buffy pushed it through the building that Angel worked in.

"Yes.. remember be quiet so you don’t wake the baby" Buffy replied in a low voice.

Austin nodded as he glanced at his sleeping sister lying in her spot behind him. Buffy carefully maneuvered the stroller as she tried to follow the signs to Angel’s office.

"Oh, what darling children!" A woman gushed as she walked down the hall from the opposite direction.

"Oh, thank you" Buffy replied, with a small smile.

"Were you trying to find someone?" The woman asked.

"Yes, actually. I am looking for number 213" Buffy answered, grateful for the help.

"Mr. O’Rourke?"

Buffy nodded, not liking the gleam the woman got in her eyes.

"I’ll take you there" Roxanne, the office gossip, purred as she turned and started walking Buffy to Angel’s office, ready to find out exactly why this young woman was bringing her two children to see their mysterious boss.

By the time they reached Cordelia’s desk, she was very disappointed. Buffy was tight lipped.

However, she did notice the look on Cordelia’s face when she saw them. Complete shock. Something big was going on.

"Buffy… how nice to see you" Cordelia greeted when she recovered.

"Oh, you know Cordelia?" Roxanne queried.

"We go back" Buffy replied. "Thanks for walking me here"

"Oh no problem, did you need any…"

"Thank you Roxanne, don’t worry, I’ve got it from here. You can get back to work, I know how much you hate to stop working" Cordelia interrupted her biggest fake smile on her face.

Doleful, Roxanne left them alone. Buffy looked after her curiously.

"She’s certainly odd"

"Buffy!"

Buffy turned and gave her friend her most innocent face. "What?"

"What is going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why is Angel so happy? Why are you here? Why do you have a new dress on?" Cordelia interrogated.

"Oh, you noticed!" Buffy grinned, twirling around to model it. "You like?"

"Yeah, it’s really cute, where did you get it?"

"Barton’s"

"I’ll have to run over there." Cordelia commented before shaking her head and realizing she got off track. "Buffy!"

Before her friend could evade any more questions, Angel opened his door and grinned at her.

"I thought I heard your voice, but then I figured it was wishful thinking" He told her as he gave her a hug and a soft kiss.

Cordelia gasped. "Oh my God! You guys… um… you know…" She stopped herself before blurting it out in front of the children and anyone else who might be listening.

"Cordelia!" Angel scolded. "That is none of your business"

"Yes it is!" Cordelia argued. "I am Buffy’s best friend, therefore, it concerns me greatly"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I’ll talk to you later. We have a birthday party to attend"

"Fine, fine, fine…. I know the truth now, so I’m cool"

"If you say so" Angel replied, before escorting his lover down the hall, earning stares from all the receptionists who had been wondering for years about their boss…. Like if he might date them. One glance at the way he looked at Buffy, and they knew they’d never stand a chance.

* * *

"Morning" Angel greeted tiredly as he entered Buffy’s sunny kitchen the next day.

Buffy looked up from the table where she sat feeding Melissa some baby food and smiled. "Just barely… it’s 11:30"

Angel shrugged before leaning over to kiss her. "It’s Saturday…you’re supposed to sleep in late on Saturday’s."

"Oh, I remember! I used to do that too…. Until I had kids" Buffy replied.

She gave Melissa her last spoonful of applesauce, as Angel poured himself some coffee. Handing the baby a toy, Buffy stood and placed the dishes in the sink. Angel came up behind her and nuzzled her neck as he placed his hands on either sides of her, effectively pinning her against the counter.

"You were great last night" She told him.

"Buffy…. in front of your daughter?!" He teased.

Buffy turned around and playfully punched him. "I meant at the party you pervo"

"Oh…" Angel replied.

"You’re very good with kids"

Angel shrugged. "I just treat them like I do people"

Buffy nodded. "You’re very good with people"

"Really? I always considered myself anti-social"

"Well, it would be nice if you and I both played anti-social and hid from everyone in the bedroom" Buffy suggested as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

"Mmm… very nice" Angel replied, kissing her more deeply as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

They both gasped when they felt something grab their legs. Looking down, they saw Austin at their feet, hugging them both.

Buffy smiled. "What are you doing Sweetie?"

"Gwoup hug" Austin explained.

"Oh…" Buffy replied, before scooping him up in her arms. "Do you still have a Mommy Hug left?"

Austin nodded before hugging his mother tightly. Buffy gestured to Angel to come closer. He did, and was surprised when Buffy hugged him again with one arm. He wrapped his arms around the both of them.

"I like this group hug better" Buffy told them.

Austin nodded. "What about Missy?"

The three of them looked at Melissa playing happily in her carrier on the table.

"Melissa?" Buffy called in a singsong voice.

Recognizing her name, the baby gurgled and laughed.

"Looks like she does her own thing" Angel observed, then looked lovingly at Buffy before adding. "Kind of like her mom"

* * *

The next month went by uneventfully, Angel spent a majority of his nights at Buffy’s. In fact, he rarely spent nights at home. The office got extremely busy and he had to work a lot of late nights… he’d never really noticed how much he worked when he didn’t have a life. On those nights, he’d just go home.

Before they knew it, it was Christmas. Angel naively let Buffy talk him into going shopping with her the weekend before the holiday. Cordelia came over to Buffy’s that Saturday to watch the kids so that the couple could have an easier time of it.

As Angel tried desperately not to lose Buffy in the crowd, he wondered for aloud why she had waited until four days before Christmas to get the kid’s gifts.

"Well, I got a lot of their gifts already, but I try not to buy Austin’s gifts in front of him. I just get clothes with him there because he doesn’t notice, but I want his toys to be a surprise, so I never got a chance before now" Buffy answered, giving Angel her best apologetic look.

As expected, he melted. "It’s all right. I wish I could have gotten more time off of work so I could help you out more"

"You already do plenty" Buffy smiled as she shifted the bags in her hands so she could link her arm around his.

"Well, things should slow down at work so I can spend more time with you guys"

That thought reminded Buffy of what she really wanted to talk to him about. "Want to eat lunch? I’m starving"

"Sure" Angel replied, letting her lead him to the food court.

Twenty minutes later, they managed to find an empty table, and sat down with their food. Buffy tried to form a speech in her mind as Angel began eating. Halfway through his meal, he noticed how distracted she seemed.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, concerned.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, just thinking about something"

"Thinking about what?" Angel asked.

"You" She answered with a smile, then elaborated. "There is something I need to talk to you about"

"What is it?"

Buffy bit her lip, then went for it. "Well, you spend a lot of time over at the house with the kids and I and we love having you there. I mean, and I hope this doesn’t freak you out, but Melissa thinks of you as her daddy and I’d say Austin pretty much does too"

"Why would that freak me out?" Angel replied. "It actually makes me happy"

Buffy couldn’t help but smile, knowing how lucky she was to have a man that loved her kids as well as her. "I was thinking, if you wanted to…. you could move in… I mean, I totally understand if you don’t want to. You’re very independent and maybe living with us would drag you down"

"I’d love to" Angel said, amazed that she had asked him. He could never hope for so much.

* * *

"Mommy!" Austin exclaimed, racing over to his mother as she and Angel entered the house.

"Hey!" Buffy replied, scooping him up into her arms. "How’s my boy?"

"Missy is dwiving me cwazy!" He replied, rolling his eyes.

Buffy and Angel both chuckled. "Were you good for Cordelia?" Angel asked.

Austin nodded, then reached for him. Buffy handed her son to him then kissed him on the cheek.

"I’m going to go find Cordelia and see if Melissa has done any damage" Buffy told them before heading out of the living room.

"You get me gifts?" Austin asked, smiling sweetly at Angel.

Angel raised an eyebrow. The kid wasn’t very different from his mother after all.

* * *

As soon as Buffy walked into the kitchen, Cordelia pounced.

"What did he say?"

"Were the kids good?"

"Buffy!"

"He said yes" Buffy replied, and couldn’t help but glow.

Cordelia squealed and hugged her friend tightly. "I knew he would!"

Melissa clapped when she saw Cordelia’s excitement. Buffy beamed at her six-month-old daughter as the baby laughed.

"So, when is he moving in?"

"Well, he’s going to go get the rest of his clothes, like, this afternoon. We’ll see what to do about his furniture… I am sure we can use some of it here. First thing after Christmas he’ll call a real estate agent about selling his apartment"

"Oh, I am so happy for you two" Cordelia grinned.

Buffy smiled back at her. "Thank you. You’re always here for me and you’re always supporting me when I need it"

"Hey, what are best friends for?"

* * *

Cordelia left soon after and Buffy fed the kids their lunch, then put them down for their naps. Angel had been planning on leaving to go get his things from his apartment, but Buffy looked so beautiful when she wrapped her arms around him and rubbed herself against him while she kissed him erotically.

They made love in what they now considered their bed, the afternoon sun warming their skin as the languidly worshipped each other’s bodies for several hours.

It was nearing dark and the time that the kids would wake up from their naps when Angel reluctantly left, promising to be back in an hour.

When he walked into the house with a suitcase in his hand forty minutes later, he was surprised to see an ecstatic Buffy.

"Guess what?!" She grinned as she hugged him tightly.

"What?"

"My mom called…. She’s coming over for Christmas dinner"

Angel saw the sparkle in her eyes and tried to squash any doubts he felt about Joyce. "That’s wonderful"

"I want to tell Austin, but I’m still a little nervous. Don’t want to get his hopes up. I suppose I should be ashamed for not trusting my mother"

"I don’t think you should" Angel replied.

Buffy bit her lip nervously. "You don’t think she’ll show?"

"I don’t mean that" Angel explained. "I just think it’s understandable for you not to want to set your child up and risk him being disappointed with the track record your mother has. I think you should let his grandmother be a surprise"

Buffy smiled. "Okay! But I’m sure she’ll be here. Now I know that my mom, Cordelia, Jack, Willow, Oz and even Xander will be here. The whole gang!"

Angel humored her, smiling and nodding as she talked excitedly about how great the upcoming holiday would be.

He just hoped it would turn out as well as she wanted.

* * *

"Are you sure I look all right?"

"You look so beautiful" Angel replied, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist and kissing her softly.

"Good…. I’m so nervous. I know it’s ridiculous, but I am" Buffy chuckled.

Angel’s heart broke for her. She was a nervous wreck because her own mother of all people was coming over. The woman she should never have to worry about impressing. However, he didn’t feel that her anxiety was all for naught; he had a sense of impending doom, but hoped it was just his negative subconscious.

The doorbell rang and Buffy jumped. "Do you think she’s here so early?"

Angel glanced at his watch. "It’s probably Cordelia"

"Oh, yeah, probably" Buffy replied before heading to the door where Austin waited anxiously to see who was there.

A part of Angel was dreading seeing Joyce, who he was sure would to this day not approve of him being with her daughter. The other part was hoping she’d get there as soon as possible. Buffy seemed like she might explode from the suspense.

"Jeez, Angel… did she take some caffeine pills or something? Buffy you are so wired looking" Cordelia commented as she and Jack came into the kitchen where Angel stood.

Angel chuckled, before scolding Cordelia. "Leave Buffy alone. She’s been running around all morning trying to put this together and clean up the mess that Austin made from opening his presents"

"Why didn’t YOU clean it up?" Cordelia countered.

"Because *I* had to keep Austin and Melissa out of Buffy’s hair. Not an easy task"

"Hmm." Cordelia replied before turning on her heel and heading out of the room.

Jack pulled a soda out of the refrigerator and shook his head. "You two are going to kill each other someday"

Angel shrugged, agreeing too much to argue. "Where’s Buffy?"

"She said she had to get the baby ready" Jack answered as the two walked out into the living room and sat down. "So what do you think about the problems in the Middle East?"

* * *

"Now today you will be meeting Grandma, Melissa, and I want you to be on your best behavior. We have to show her that Mommy is raising you right, okay?"

Melissa giggled and grabbed a lock of Buffy’s hair as her mother pulled the white tights on her chubby legs.

"Good idea, you just be so adorable that she won’t care if you behave!" Buffy smiled. As she slipped some patent leather shoes on her daughter and lifted her up, examining how she looked in the red velvet dress with a matching headband with a bow on it on her head, providing the perfect contrast to her blonde hair just beginning to grow long enough to naturally curl. She was beautiful, Buffy decided before carrying her out of the nursery.

She just hoped her mother could see past the fact that she didn’t approve of Melissa’s father so that she could love her granddaughter.

* * *

Austin watched nervously as the lady with red hair held his sister and laughed with the man beside her over how adorable she was. Melissa loved being held and adored but it just made him apprehensive. Babies didn’t know how scary strangers were.

He felt a little better with the knowledge that Uncle Angel sat on the other side of the lady holding his sister on the couch. He wouldn’t let anything happen to Missy. However, he was preoccupied, talking loudly with Aunt Cordelia, which they seemed to love to do. Uncle Jack was even laughing.

Mommy, though, wouldn’t sit still. Uncle Angel had given up trying to get her to relax and let her just pace back and forth through the room.

The doorbell rang and she took a deep breath. Seeing everyone look at her. "It’s probably Xander" She told them, smoothing her hands over her skirt. Austin got up and followed her to the door.

Buffy opened the door as Austin held onto her leg, using it as a shield as he peered around it.

"Mom!" Buffy exclaimed, seeing Joyce standing on the other side of the threshold.

Austin was very confused. Why was Mom saying Mom?

"Buffy" Joyce replied in a low voice, raising an eyebrow at the small face peeking up at her. "Austin"

Buffy hugged her mother tightly, loving how her mother hugged her just as fiercely. Buffy stepped back and allowed her Joyce in.

As soon as she was through the door, Joyce bent down and picked Austin up, which scared the child. She was a stranger to him.

"Austin, this is Grandma" Buffy explained. "She is my mommy"

The fear didn’t leave Austin’s eyes and he began to struggle.

"He’s shy around people he’s unfamiliar with" Buffy explained.

Joyce nodded and set the boy down. Austin ran off to the living room. "I guess that must be one of his father’s characteristics, because I remember you used to love all the attention you could get when you were little"

Buffy grinned as her mother hugged her once more. "I’m so glad you came"

"Oh, me too… and I am so sorry I’ve been such an ass. I’ve regretted how I behaved for so long… and I wanted to come to the funeral.. but I worried it might hurt you to see me when I never approved of… him"

"It doesn’t matter, you’re here now" Buffy replied wiping at a tear that streamed down her face.

"Oh, Honey, don’t cry. If you cry, I’ll cry. This is Christmas"

"I know" Buffy replied wiping the few tears away and smiling. "Let’s go see everyone else"

She led her mother to the living room, where Austin was now sitting on Angel’s lap.

"You guys all remember my mom" Buffy said as they walked in. Everyone stopped talking and looked in amazement. "Oh, except Jack"

Jack stood and held his hand out to Joyce, who shook it as Buffy introduced them. "Jack, this is my mother, Joyce Summers. Mom, Jack is Cordelia’s fiancé. And you know, Oz, Willow, Angel, and Cordelia"

Joyce nodded. "Nice to see you all"

"And this." Buffy began, picking Melissa up out of Willow’s arms. "Is Melissa, my daughter"

Joyce gasped as Buffy placed the child in her arms, beaming. She looked at Angel, happiness shining in her eyes. He couldn’t help but feel overjoyed that Buffy finally had her mother back.

* * *

The night passed all too quickly for Buffy. Before she knew it, everyone had eaten, exchanged gifts, and left. Joyce had told her she was staying at a nearby hotel, since she was going to some convention for a few days, but would remain in LA for the week, so she could spend some time with them, much do her daughter’s pleasure.

"I just can’t believe it Angel, I never in a million years would have believed my mom would come back into our lives" Buffy grinned as she got into bed.

Angel looked up from the newspaper in his lap. "Well, I am glad she did"

"Me too… now the kids get a Grandma. I think even Austin was warming up to her, don’t you?"

Angel smiled and kissed her softly on the lips. "He did sit on her lap"

"Just think…" Buffy said in a low, sultry voice. "My mom can be the dutiful Grandma… happy to watch the kids for a weekend so we can have alone time"

Angel tossed the newspaper of the bed and pulled her over so she straddled his lap. "I like that"

"Mamma… thought you would" She smiled, before dipping her head down to share a searing kiss with her lover.

He began to slide his hands up her bare thighs, venturing up her silk nightshirt, towards her panties.

Then Melissa began to cry. They both groaned and let their foreheads rest against each other.

"I’ll be back" Buffy sighed, as she got up from the bed and trudged out the door. Angel sighed and hoped it be one of those nights that Melissa fussed for hours on end. Having someone willing to watch the kids so they could be alone would be *very* nice.

* * *

Over the next two months, Joyce more than made up for lost time with her grandchildren and daughter. She even decided to move back to LA. The only thing that had been keeping her in Sunnydale was the gallery, but she decided to relocate it in LA so she could be closer to her family.

Life ran smoothly, Angel settling into his role of father well. Austin still on occasion asked about Giles, but he had no problems accepting Angel as a father. Buffy supposed it was a blessing in disguise that he was so young when his father died, however, she made sure to have a few pictures of Giles around. She and Angel had an understanding that the children would know who their biological father was.

Cordelia and Jack decided to get married in Hawaii. Everyone was surprised that Cordelia wanted a small, understated ceremony to be held on Valentine’s Day. They only asked Buffy & Angel, a few other friends, and Jack’s sister and her husband to attend.

One afternoon, Buffy was telling her mother she needed to go shopping for clothes for the kids, and hopefully there would already be summer clothes in the stores, because neither had anything that was cool enough and fit them.

"I have another idea… why don’t you and Angel go alone?" Joyce suggested.

"You mean leave the kids?"

"Yes.. you’ll only be gone five days, I can take care of them"

"Oh, I don’t know… that’s a lot to ask. It’s one thing for you to spend a few hours with them while Angel and I go out to dinner, but five days… Mom that is very exhausting, even for me"

"Exactly, you are worn out, Honey. I want you and Angel to have a nice little vacation, and you can focus more on your best friend’s wedding"

Buffy sighed, she was torn. A part of her would love five days just for her and Angel, but another part didn’t feel right making her mother take care of her children, and another part didn’t feel right about abandoning her kids.

"I’ll talk to Angel, see what he thinks" Buffy conceded.

Joyce smiled, hoping she’d get to spend the time with her grandchildren while giving her daughter a much-needed break.

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Buffy asked for the third time that morning as she dressed Melissa in a pair of overalls on the living room floor.

Angel, who was busy rushing around to make sure that they weren’t forgetting anything, nodded. "Yes, Buffy, this is a very good idea. The kids love your mother and she is really looking forward to this time with them"

"But what if they need me? I’ll be so far away!"

"It’ll be okay. I promise you, if anything, anything at all were to happen, even though I’m sure it won’t, I will get you home right away"

Buffy sighed and leaned back on her heels. Melissa laughed and kicked her legs, then began chewing on her teething ring some more.

Austin knelt beside her. "Look Baby" He exclaimed, showing her a picture he had colored.

Melissa laughed again, as she always did when she got attention.

"She really likes it Austin" Buffy smiled.

"Yeah!" Austin agreed, grinning, before getting up and running back to the kitchen table to color another one.

Angel knelt behind Buffy as Melissa rolled over on her belly. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck.

"They will be fine" He told her softly.

Buffy smiled. "You just want me all to yourself on a beach in a skimpy bikini"

"That too" Angel chuckled.

The doorbell ringing interrupted the lovers. Angel got up and headed for the door as Buffy picked up Melissa and put her in her playpen, then went to finish getting ready.

After she went into the bathroom and ran the brush through her hair, deciding she looked decent enough then came back out to find her mother sitting at the kitchen table beside Austin, drinking a cup of coffee.

"Hi Sweetie, excited about your trip?" Joyce asked, smiling warmly at her daughter.

"Yeah" Buffy answered, but it was evident she was also quite apprehensive.

"Relax Buffy, we’ll have a great week, won’t we Austin?"

Austin nodded, he and Grandma had just discussed how he had to be a big boy and help Mommy. He was a little scared that she was going away with Uncle Angel, but Grandma would be there. "You have fun"

Buffy looked at him strangely and was about to ask what was going on, when Angel came into the room.

"I put all your luggage in the guest room, Joyce" Angel told her as he wrapped his arms around Buffy from behind. "You ready to go? Cordelia and Jack should be picking us up any time now"

Buffy nodded. "I just have to say good-bye to the kids"

She went back into the living room and picked up the playing Melissa. "Will you miss Mommy, Sweetie?"

Melissa just offered Buffy a soggy cookie. Buffy smiled and scraped the mess out of her daughter’s hand. She walked into the living room, holding the baby tightly to her chest. Angel gave her a concerned look that she tried to ignore. It was hard leaving your babies; she’d been a wreck when Giles had talked her into letting Cordelia watch Austin when he was three months old while she and Giles went out to dinner.

The doorbell rang again, this time it was Jack. Buffy held a little tighter to Melissa, as if she were going to save her.

"We ready to go? Cordelia’s in the car" Jack informed them.

Angel nodded and picked up a suitcase, Jack went and grabbed the other before heading out the door. Buffy tried not to cry as she kissed Austin good-bye and hugged and kissed Melissa before handing her to Joyce. As she hugged her daughter, Joyce reassured Buffy that the kids would be okay. Angel half-dragged Buffy out to the car after he had told everyone good-bye and helped Jack load the luggage.

Once in the backseat of Jack’s car, Buffy let a few tears fall as she waved to Joyce, Austin, and Melissa as they stood in the doorway, all three of them blowing kisses- something Melissa had just learned how to do.

* * *

Once they were on the plane, after meeting up with the rest of their group at the airport, Buffy was a lot calmer, but still a little sad about leaving the kids. Cordelia kicked Angel out of his seat and made him sit with Jack for a while so she could console her best friend.

The guys did their own thing, sitting in silence as they tuned out the world around them for a few hours and read their newspapers. A couple of hours later, Angel saw it was almost time for lunch, so he got up and headed a few rows back where the girls were sitting.

"I figured you’d want to eat lunch with Jack" He said softly to Cordelia, who in turn laughed hysterically with Buffy.

He looked at them strangely, wondering if there was a private joke.

Kelly, Jack’s sister, turned in her seat. She and her husband were sitting in the row in front of Buffy and Cordelia. Smiling sheepishly, she informed him "They’ve been drinking"

Angel’s eyes widened. "What? It’s barely noon!"

"We’re on vacation, Angel!" Cordelia exclaimed, pretending to be exasperated, but not pulling it off when she began to giggle.

Buffy laughed along with her, rather loudly, making Angel glad that the plane was empty, and the only other people in nearby were the ones in their group.

Angel hurried back up the aisle to Jack, then leaned over the seat so he could keep his voice low. "Um… you need to come back here to get Cordelia"

Jack looked at him peculiarly, but got up and followed him the few rows back to where the women sat. Cordelia looked dreamily at Jack.

"Hey baby!" She exclaimed.

"Are you drunk?" He asked, shocked.

Cordelia shook her head emphatically.

"We just had one!" Buffy explained, while holding up three fingers.

"Yeah… one…. After another" Cordelia added, as she leaned on Buffy’s shoulder and the two of them laughed uncontrollably.

"Okay… you’re coming with me" Jack said as he pulled Cordelia up, supporting her as she stood, since her legs were wobbling quite a bit.

"Au Revior!" Buffy called as Cordelia and Jack moved to their seats. Cordelia laughed and blew her a kiss.

Angel sat down and tried to ignore the amusement clear on the faces of Jack and Cordelia’s family and friends.

Buffy giggled and lay her head on his shoulder. "Don’t be a prude, Angel"

Angel was trying to think of a way to sober her up quickly. If they were home he could just dump her in the bathtub with cold water, but alas, the plane didn’t have such luxury.

As he plotted, Buffy decided to play. She hummed giddily as she trailed her fingers down Angel’s chest to his stomach and down to his groin. She gave his member a squeeze, and that got his attention.

He quickly grabbed both her small hands in his to restrain her from any further "explorations"

"Don’t do that" He scolded her firmly.

Buffy laughed. "Ooh… you wanna handcuff me?"

Angel could distinctly hear Kelly and her husband as well as several others laughing, since Buffy hadn’t exactly been quiet.

Jack wandered back down to them and gave Angel a sympathetic smile. "Cordelia just… got sick… and it helps… you might want to take Buffy to the bathroom"

Angel nodded. "Good idea"

He got up and started to pull Buffy to her feet. She wasn’t making it easy for him.

"I’m not sick, I feel great!" She exclaimed as he led her to that bathroom.

* * *

"I feel so horrible"

Angel stroked his fingers through Buffy’s long blonde hair that he had been holding back as she vomited everything she had consumed that day. They were still kneeling in front of the small airplane toilet in case she got sick again.

"You’ll be okay, you brought all that medicine, I’m sure some of it will help" He reassured.

"I hope" She moaned. "Plus, I feel like such an ass"

Angel smiled. "Can’t help you there"

"Cordelia just suggested we each have a glass of champagne to relax our nerves. I haven’t had any in so long because I was always pregnant or nursing, so it seemed like a nice idea. But then one glass became another, and another, and I never had a chance to eat this morning… so…"

"Don’t worry, aside from the handcuff comment, you really didn’t embarrass yourself too much" He told her, amused.

Buffy groaned. "I’d hit you if I wasn’t so dizzy"

"You ready to go sit down again?" He asked.

"I guess… I just want to wash my mouth out first"

Angel helped her up and she moved over to the small sink and rinsed her mouth of the bad taste with water before they headed back to their seats, rolling their eyes as Jack’s friends teased them about the "mile high" club.

They sat quietly, just cuddling, until lunch arrived half an hour later. Luckily, Buffy felt well enough to eat. After they were done, they both fell asleep, spending much of the rest of the flight unconscious.

Due to the time difference between Hawaii and California, it was still early in the afternoon when they landed. They all headed to their hotel and checked in, then went off for food and sightseeing or naps separate, deciding to meet at six for dinner.

As soon as they had settled in their room, Buffy and Angel were all over each other. He pushed her down on the bed and lay half on top of her, half on his side, kissing her furiously as he unbuttoned her sweater.

"Finally… got you all to myself" Angel murmured as he nipped her shoulder and squeezed her breasts.

"Yeah… no kids or work or anything to distract us" Buffy agreed, moaning as Angel’s ministrations pleased her.

Someone began pounding on the door. Angel pretended he didn’t hear it because he didn’t care and he hoped Buffy didn’t either.

Unfortunately, she did. "Angel…" She quietly protested. "Someone’s at the door"

"Ignore them and they will go away"

Buffy sighed and pushed him off her. She rose from the bed and began rebuttoning her sweater as she walked to the door. "It’ll just take a minute"

Angel sighed and lay back on the bed as Buffy opened the door. "Hey Cordelia, what’s up?"

"Yeah, and why do you not understand ‘Do Not Disturb’?" Angel practically growled from the bed as he gestured to the sign he had placed on the door.

Buffy shot him a dirty look. "Don’t be mean"

Before Buffy turned back around, Cordelia stuck her tongue out at him. As soon as his girlfriend was facing Cordelia, Angel flicked the brunette off.

"I just thought that you and I could go shopping, you know, since the wedding is the day after tomorrow and we will probably be so busy after tonight that you and I won’t have any alone time" Cordelia explained.

"You can have time alone next week" Angel suggested.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "We could shop"

"That just happens to be exactly what I had in mind" Cordelia grinned.

"Give me a few minutes to get ready?" Buffy asked.

"Sure… I’ll meet you in the lobby in fifteen"

Buffy closed the door after her friend and turned to look at her annoyed lover. "How about a quickie?"

Angel frowned. "Buffy, the whole great thing about being here is that you and I don’t have to have quickie’s like we do at home. We can take our time because we have nothing to do and nowhere to be"

Buffy straddled him and began rocking her core against his member through their clothes. "We have all night… I promise… and after the wedding we’ll have all the time alone that we need"

"In *three* days" Angel argued as he groaned from the pleasure.

Buffy unzipped his pants and stroked his erection before sliding her skirt up to her waist and moving the crotch of her panties aside so she could slide him into her velvety wetness.

"Think of it as… something to look forward to." She told him in a low voice as she rocked back and forth, placing her hands on his shoulders for leverage.

"But today was something to look forward to" Angel argued his voice strained as he neared orgasm.

Buffy bent her head down to lick his cheek. "But now it will be even more intense"

Knowing she was close, she reached behind her and squeezed his balls, gently but firmly. He surged upward as he began his spiral into climax, pushing her over the edge. Her small hand squeezing and caressing his sac and her walls closing tightly on his length were too much and he exploded inside her.

Buffy collapsed against him, breathless from her orgasm. Angel held her tightly to him.

"Are you *sure* you don’t want me to go tell Cordelia you don’t feel well?"

Buffy rolled her eyes, gave him a kiss and got out of bed. She arranged her clothes as he gave her his best puppy dog look.

"Bye Angel… I’ll be back by five to get ready for dinner…. Take a nap… you’ll need it" She grinned before walking out the door.

Angel couldn’t help but smile and shake his head.

And anticipate their first night without any interruptions.

* * *

Buffy returned at five, as promised, her arms filled with bags. After she called her mother and talked to Austin for a few moments before he went to bed, Angel managed to talk her into taking a shower… with him, of course. Everyone gave them a knowing smile when they arrived fifteen minutes late for dinner.

Angel had hoped they could just go back to the room after dinner, but Cordelia and Jack insisted the two of them go with everyone else to a nightclub. Finally, after an hour, Buffy managed to get them out of there.

They spent the entire night making love. It was the best night of Angel’s life. Angel had sex with many women, but Buffy was the only one he had made love to. For the first time since her seventeenth birthday, there were no distractions, and this time, he was there when they awoke in each other’s arms.

He hardly got to see her that day, she was too busy shopping for dresses for the wedding with Cordelia and Kelly, since the bride wanted them to wear Hawaiian dresses they had waited until the day before the wedding. Angel pretty much stayed in the room that day, reading and watching TV and waiting for Buffy to get back.

When she did, she hung up her dress and collapsed on the bed. Angel went ahead and took a nap so he could cuddle with her.

Angel narrowly escaped a bachelor party that night. In fact, so did Jack. His single friends went ahead and partied into the wee hours of the morning in honor of their friend, who spent the night with his fiancée.

Buffy was gone most of the next day as well, helping Cordelia make last minute preparations. Angel didn’t even see her until the wedding at sunset. She looked beautiful, in a blue sundress.

Cordelia had never looked happier in her life as she and Jack became husband and wife. The reception was brief, since Cordelia and Jack were leaving early the next morning to begin their official honeymoon touring Europe.

Angel and Buffy spent the next two days completely involved with each other. They had no distractions whatsoever, and they relished it. Save for Buffy’s daily calls back home, they were the only two people in the world.

On their last night, they went to a romantic outdoor restaurant. Buffy noticed that Angel had been acting strange all evening.

"Are you okay?"

"I’m great" He reassured. "I’m with you, aren’t I?"

Buffy smiled. "Smooth talker"

"Want to take a walk on the beach after we’re done eating?"

"Sure, that sounds nice" She smiled.

As planned, they walked along the shore in the darkness. It was a beautiful night, the sky was filled with stars, the ocean sparkled, and there was a cool breeze caressed Buffy’s skin like a lover.

And when her actual lover stopped, she looked at him with concern. "You okay?"

Angel nodded and smiled. Taking a deep breath, he dropped down to one knee and pulled a small box out of his pocket. "Buffy… will you marry me?"

* * *

Four months later, on a warm June morning, Austin raced around his front yard with his friend, Daniel. The boys had become best friends since Daniel had come to Austin’s third birthday party a month earlier. Grandma stood nearby holding Melissa and keeping a watchful eye on them.

"Be careful not to get dirty boys, you have to look nice" Grandma called.

Melissa kicked her legs and Joyce set her down. The baby had taken her first steps on her first birthday a week earlier. She chuckled to herself; it was just like Melissa to wait until everyone was gathered at the house to start walking. That way, she’d have a ton of attention.

Cordelia walked out the front door. Joyce looked at her and smiled. "Is it time?"

* * *

Angel stood nervously in the backyard as Austin walked slowly up the aisle between the folding chairs. He considered his job as ringbearer extremely important. Unfortunately, Mom had decided to make Melissa the flower girl since she had started to walk, but since she was still very shaky, he had to help her. Slowly, they trudged up the aisle, with everyone smiling at them. Austin hated it.

They were just a few feet away when Melissa shrieked and pulled her hand away from Austin, falling to her knees and crawling over to Angel.

"Dada" She called as she affectionately patted his foot, then sat beside him as he stood and smiled down at her.

Austin shook his head and assumed his position as Aunt Cordelia made her way down the aisle. As soon as she got up to where the minister and Angel stood, she bent and picked Melissa up, so she could at least stand on the bride’s side.

When Angel saw Her standing at the other end of the aisle, she took his breath away. Joyce walked with her daughter down the aisle. Before he knew it, Buffy was standing before him, looking amazing in a white veil and a very elaborate white wedding gown. She looked perfect.

The ceremony went by in a blur. Before he knew it, Angel was kissing his bride. They were married. Angel was amazed. Buffy was his wife…. He’d never dreamed that possible.

After they had danced the first dance, Angel began playfully dancing Melissa around the room as Austin stood in a chair and danced with his mother. She looked so happy; she was definitely in a good mood, so he decided it was the perfect time to ask her something he’d been contemplating for a while.

"Mom, can we talk?"

Buffy smiled at her son. He was three, going on thirty. "Sure, Austin. Should we sit down?"

Austin nodded very seriously, so Buffy pulled up a chair and sat across from Austin as he sat in the chair he had been standing on.

"Mom, you know how Missy calls Uncle Angel Dad?"

Buffy nodded, hoping he didn’t have a hard to answer question.

"Do you think he’d let *me* call him Dad?"

Buffy smiled brightly. "I’m positive that he would"

Austin smiled back at her in relief. "Should I be nice and ask?"

Buffy thought about it for a few seconds. "You know, I think that it would be a nice surprise for him if you just said it" She held out her arms. "Want to go talk to him now?"

Austin smiled and let her pick him up. Buffy walked them over to where Angel stood, holding Melissa. "May we cut in?" she smiled.

"Oh, I guess so… you’re pretty cute" Angel teased.

"Good… I was worried I might be too old for your tastes"

"You’ll do" Angel replied with a wink.

"Are you going to let him talk to your mother like that?" Buffy asked Austin.

"Don’t do that!" Austin laughed and scolded Angel, before adding. "Dad"

Angel looked at Austin in shock as the toddler shyly lay his head on his smiling mother’s shoulder.

Angel smiled as well, before leaning over to kiss his bride.

Joyce was so pleased with herself for getting the first shot of the happy new family.

* * *

Austin looked curiously at his surrounding’s as he held tightly to Daddy’s hand while they walked down the big hallway. He hadn’t been here in a long time; he was a little kid the last time. Now he was four and a very big boy. Mommy said that only big kids could go to pre-school like he did.

He looked over at Melissa, who held Daddy’s other hand. She was still a little kid, only two. She was a very difficult little sister and never listened to him.

"Here we are" Daddy said, smiling down at them. "You guys ready?"

Daddy pushed open a door and they all walked into a dim room.

"Mama!" Melissa smiled, she had missed her mother terribly in the few days she had been gone.

"Hi guys" Mommy greeted.

"Hey Mom" Austin replied as Daddy lifted him on the bed so he could get a better look at his mother and the bundle she held in her arms.

Angel lifted Melissa and held her in his lap as he sat next to Buffy on the other side of the bed.

"What that?" Melissa asked, pointing and the newborn lying in Buffy’s arms.

Buffy smiled at her before telling her and Austin "This is your little brother, Evan"

"A boy?" Austin asked.

Angel nodded. "That’s right. Now you have a brother *and* a sister. You’re very lucky"

Austin wrinkled his nose. "That’s what I thought when Missy came. I was wrong!"

Buffy and Angel laughed, then kissed each other lovingly.

"Don’t give up hope on him yet" Buffy suggested as Angel bent and kissed their newest child on the forehead.

Angel couldn’t help but kiss his wife one more time after he lifted his head. She had never looked more beautiful than she did right then, sitting in a hospital bed with him and their three children.

And they lived happily ever after (because the author always wanted to say that).

END