In truth, he was hoping she’d come up to his apartment with him. After that talk with Xander… he really needed to be with her, skin on skin, as close as two people could be. It was far from healthy and he knew it, but he needed to forget for just a little while that Buffy could never be his. So he pretended he was just turned on by seeing her in the black bikini, not overly skimpy…. but it was pretty sexy and didn’t make it hard to believe that it had turned him on quite sufficiently.

Buffy returned the smile, "I bet you do."

"Hey, wasn’t that traffic on Hudson Avenue horrible?"

"Huh?"

"You know… because of the parade, there was all that traffic. And maybe on your way back, you’ll have a hard time finding a way to get through because roads are closed."

Buffy chuckled, "That would certainly be a shame. Say, should I walk you up?"

"That would probably be safest."

She turned off the engine, but before either of them got out of the car, they leaned over and met each other halfway, sharing a kiss filled with passion and promises of what was to come in mere minutes. Hastily unbuckling their seatbelts, they both climbed from the jeep and hurried into the building.

Once in the blessedly empty elevator, Graham had Buffy leaning against the wall and resumed their fervent kisses, stroking his hands up and down her sides. Before it could go any further, though, Buffy pulled away.

"Don’t they usually have cameras in here?"

They didn’t see one, but figured it could be a hidden one and since Graham really didn’t want to get funny looks from the security guards, he impatiently waited until the elevator reached his floor.

At long last, the doors slid open and they rushed down the hallway. No sooner were they in the apartment with the door closed that Buffy was pushed against the wall with Graham planting hot kisses along the side of her neck.

One of the last thoughts Buffy had before she was overcome by mind-numbing pleasure was that she really needed to find a way to get into bikinis around Graham more often.

Chapter Nine

***

If anyone noticed that it had taken Buffy over an hour to take Graham home, they didn’t comment. She came back to Xander’s apartment to find them all gathered around the television watching some movie on HBO.

As everyone watched the movie and munched on popcorn, Buffy reflected on what had occurred at Graham’s. As usual, it was great. She may not have been the most experienced girl, but she knew Graham was a great lover… not that she’d had any exceptionally bad ones. Parker had been the worst and even he could have been better if only he’d been half as considerate as Angel, Riley and Graham.

So maybe she *was* wrong, but she couldn’t imagine it being much better than it was with Graham. Even if he didn’t love her, he made sure she always had an orgasm, and he seemed to know even better than she how to give her one. And it was different with Graham than it was with all the other guys. Her only time with Angel had been filled with relief that they were both still alive and together, and all the anxiety that came with making love for the first time. With Riley, she had always held back a little bit, scared to get hurt again like she had been with Angel. And Parker… well, that was a train wreck. She’d slept with him for all the wrong reasons and had learned to regret it immensely. And even if Graham gave her no promises of a real, emotional relationship, she trusted him.

But still, it was starting to get to her. In the past week and a half, she’d had a lot of fun. Not just with the sex… she saw Graham nearly every day and Dawn was often around, stopping them from even kissing. He was fun to talk to, or just watch television with. His presence calmed her, made her feel warm and happy in a way she hadn’t experienced in longer than she could remember. She’d come to the realization that she didn’t just like him – she loved him. It was nothing near what she still felt for Angel, but it grew a little more with every passing day. And as those feelings grew, so did the darkness she felt when she was alone after being with Graham. While it felt incredible to be with him, to feel him inside her and his lips caressing hers… when it was all over, she felt so cold and alone that she had to wonder if it was worth it.

Now she knew how Riley had felt, to make love to someone, to open yourself up so much and love them, but to know that those feelings would never be returned. And unlike Riley, it was her own fault because she had gone into this knowing Graham just liked having sex with her.

It made her feel horrible. She was a fool, a whore, and so undeserving of Riley’s love. Not only had she held back the love she honestly felt for him when he’d needed it so much, not only had she slept with his best friend over and over and *enjoyed* it… now she was falling in love with him.

Someone knocking loudly at the door interrupted her reverie. Since everyone else was entranced by the television, Buffy rose and answered it, surprised to find Spike on the other side of the threshold.

"It’s already dark?"

"Hello to you too, Luv."

"Sorry," Buffy replied, smiling at him. After all he had done to help her with Glory, the two of them had managed to forge and maintain a friendship.

"Did I miss anything?" he asked, walking into the apartment.

She shook her head, "Not much except pizza and whatever movie they are watching. I haven’t really been paying attention."

"Well, I like pizza," Spike said, heading for the kitchen.

Buffy chuckled; it never ceased to amaze her how human Spike could be. She’d never seen a vampire who liked people food so much. She followed him into the kitchen, deciding Spike’s company was better than sitting back down and thinking about Graham again until she got all depressed.

"So when do the fireworks start?" Spike asked as he put a couple slices of pepperoni pizza on a place and put them in the microwave.

"Nine o’clock," she answered. "I never knew you were into stuff like that."

Spike turned and smirked at her. "There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Buffy. For instance, I happen to have a birthmark on my-"

"I don’t want to know!"

He laughed and pulled the now heated pizza out of the microwave. "Fine, fine… you’ll change your mind."

His banter may have been playful, but a part of Spike was very serious. He loved Buffy just as much, if not more, than when she’d still considered him an enemy, or at least not a friend. Still, he’d decided that if he were to win her over, it wouldn’t be by following her around and harassing her about it. He’d be her friend, earn her trust… and hopefully, someday, her love as well.

***

"Sister, content you in my discontent. Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe: My books and instruments shall be my company. On them to took and practice by myself."

"Hark, Tranio! Thou may'st hear Minerva speak. "

Buffy smiled from her position leaning against the door frame leading to the living room where Graham was helping Dawn practice lines from ‘Taming of the Shrew’, which was the play her drama group was going to put on at the end of the summer.

"I hate to interrupt, but it’s eleven o’clock," she spoke up.

Dawn gasped and jumped up from her seat, "Oh my God, I have to get to bed! I need a full eight hours of sleep for the audition tomorrow."

"I’m sure you’ll do fine," Graham assured her.

"Thank you for helping me!" she said, surprising him by bending down to give him a hug.

"You’re welcome. Good luck tomorrow."

"Thanks," Dawn grinned, than rushed to the door of the room, only stopping to kiss Buffy on the cheek before running up the stairs, "Night!"

"Good night," Buffy called after her, amused. It was good to see Dawn so excited about something.

Graham leaned back on the couch as she came into the room and sat down beside him.

"Do you really understand Shakespeare?"

He shook his head and grinned, "Not at all. I was big on cliffs notes when I had to endure lit classes."

"Gee and here I thought you were this totally sensitive guy," she joked.

His eyes took on a dark glint as he smiled seductively, "Does that mean you want me out of your house?"

Buffy recognized his hunger and felt an answering cry deep inside herself. "I don’t know, I think you might be able to redeem yourself."

"Oh really?" he replied as Buffy moved to straddle him and dipped her head down. Their lips met, expressing their mutual need for one another.

Things progressed quickly, and they both found themselves incredibly turned on. Breaking apart to catch their breath, Buffy leaned her forehead against Graham’s and looked him in the eye.

"Do you think Dawn is asleep yet?"

"No," she half whined, "She too excited to fall asleep right away."

"So she might catch us down here?"

"Yeah," Buffy sighed, "But if we go upstairs together, we stand a better chance of her seeing us."

"She probably won’t come back downstairs… if we’re quiet," Graham said optimistically.

Even though she knew it wasn’t the best idea, Buffy went with her hormones and nodded before turning off the lamp on the end table, leaving the room bathed with only dim light from another lamp. As their lips met once again, Graham’s fingers found their way to her head, running through her golden hair as their mouths melded together.

***

Upon reaching her bedroom, Dawn changed into her pajamas and said her prayers – something she only did for special occasions when she needed help from anywhere she could get it. Climbing into bed, she continued to read from the script, hoping she’d get sleepy soon. However, after a few minutes she was positively antsy. There was no way she’d be falling asleep soon!

Remembering how her mother used to sometimes give her warm milk to help her fall asleep, Dawn decided to give it a shot and got back out of bed before creeping down the stairs. Seeing that there was hardly any light in the living room, she figured Graham must have already left, but then frowned when she heard some strange sounds coming from that direction. As she went down a few more steps, she realized it was moaning.

Being as silent as possible, remembering not to step on the squeaky third step from the bottom, Dawn sneaked over to the living room doorway. The sight that greeted her was something she would never have dreamed of seeing in a million years.

Buffy was sitting on Graham’s lap with his hands up her shirt as they kissed. It wasn’t your normal ‘good friends’ kiss. Hell, it wasn’t even as tame as the kisses she used to witness between Buffy and Riley.

Coming to her senses enough to realize she didn’t want to be caught, Dawn rushed back up the stairs, her glass of milk forgotten, as she tried to wrap her mind around what she’d just seen.

Back in her room, Dawn got back in bed, still in shock. She began to second-guess all the times she had seen Buffy and Graham hug each other goodbye or that way they looked at each other and seemed to say so much with just their eyes. At the time she had figured they were just close friends, and perhaps they had the potential to be a great couple, but now she wondered what had really been going on.

They were obviously… close. Dawn wasn’t sure if they were going to do it – although she hoped they wouldn’t on her *couch* – but even if they didn’t, she was pretty sure people didn’t make out like that on their first date. Buffy certainly didn’t; Dawn had eavesdropped on enough conversations between her sister and Willow to be sure of that.

So what was up with them? Were they dating? Why had they been acting like they were just friends?

Dawn turned the light off, all thoughts of the play gone from her mind. She had an entirely new problem to keep her up that night.

***

"So, was Graham here for very long after I went to bed?" Dawn asked, studying her sister very closely.

Buffy shrugged, "For a while."

"What did you guys do?"

Frowning, the blonde asked, "What’s going on?"

"Nothing! Just making conversation."

Buffy looked at her suspiciously, but didn’t comment on it any further. "Are you ready to go? You have to be there in twenty minutes. I figured you would be going crazy with fear that you might be late. What if the car breaks down?"

"Do *not* jinx me!" Dawn shrieked, getting up from the kitchen table and rinsing her plate in the sink.

The slayer smiled and loaded Dawn’s plate and the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher while her sister ran a brush through her hair once more and put on some lipstick.

"How do I look?"

"Remarkably like Bianca Minola!"

Dawn rolled her eyes, "Let’s go."

"Okay," Buffy replied, grabbing her keys.

The two sisters headed out to the jeep and Buffy started driving them to UC Sunnydale, where Dawn’s drama classes were held. While her sister mostly worried about everything she had to do that day… and not focus on that icky way she felt having this immoral sex thing going with Graham, Dawn tried to figure out why Buffy was acting like nothing had happened with Graham. If she hadn’t caught them, she would have no idea that they’d been making out and more on the couch the night before. It was all very strange and she didn’t understand. Still, there was no way she was going to *tell* Buffy what she had witnessed – it would be way too embarrassing.

"Are you nervous about your audition?" Buffy asked.

"A little," she answered honestly, although she realized this whole thing with Buffy and Graham was a great distraction from worrying too much about getting the part.

"You’re going to be fine, I just know it. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and watch? Mr. Dannen said it was fine."

"That will make me even more nervous. You know how that feels."

"Yeah, I just want you to know you have my support. And I’m proud of you."

Dawn couldn’t help but smile at Buffy. She could be a huge pain in the butt, but she really loved her.

***

Buffy wasn’t sure she could keep this thing with Graham up… but on the other hand, she wasn’t sure that she could stop it. As pathetic as it was, being in love with a guy who was having a purely sexual relationship with her when she had *agreed* for it to be that way, she needed it. She needed Graham and the intimacy that she found with him. Not just the sex – though that was certainly intimate – but also just having someone with her to talk, someone who knew what it was like to lose their mother, it was so…. nice.

Sighing, she shook her head and pulled away from the curb outside Satterfield Hall, the auditorium where Dawn’s class was held. Her sister had already gone inside, but Buffy had gotten rather lost in her thoughts. One thing she had learned over the past few weeks was that the days went by much faster when she avoided thinking about Graham until she saw him and all bad thoughts disappeared.

As she pulled out onto the street, Buffy headed towards the grocery store, trying to decide if she should go ahead and get a cake that said congratulations on it. They were supposed to announce who got what role before the kids went home that day, so Dawn would know by that night. She figured she should be safe; she may think Dawn was the best actress in the class, but she *was* biased. Perhaps she would just go to Marie Callendar’s instead and get Dawn’s favorite pie. Then they could either have a celebratory dessert… or pig out and whine together.

She stopped at a red light and bent over to fiddle with the radio, not seeing the car coming from the cross street to her right, making a left…. badly. The next thing she knew, it slammed into the front of her jeep.

***

Graham awakened slowly to the shrill sound of the telephone ringing. Groggily, he picked it up. "Hello?"

"Graham? Oh God, I woke you up. I’m sorry!" Buffy said on the other end.

"It’s okay, Buffy."

"I wish I didn’t have to call you, but Anya and Xander went on their little vacation so Giles is running the store alone and I can’t find Willow or Tara so I had no choice."

"Don’t worry about it. What’s up?"

"Would you mind coming to pick me up from the hospital?" she asked, biting her bottom lip.

Graham sat straight up in bed. "What happened?"

"I got in a car accident," Buffy explained.

"Oh God, are you okay?" he asked, climbing out of bed.

"Yeah, I just have a sore ankle and have a few bumps and bruises, but I’ll be fine in a few days," she explained, "Unfortunately, the accident killed my car and I really can’t drive well anyway, so…"

"I’ll be there right away."

"Thanks," Buffy replied, hanging up the phone.

The nurse on the other side of the registration desk smiled at her. "Did you reach someone?"

"Yeah, one of my friends is coming to pick me up."

"Good, let’s get you back to the exam room. Dr. Padget should be able to see your x-ray soon so we can get you on your way," the nurse replied, walking around the counter and grabbing the handles of the wheelchair they had insisted Buffy sit in. Not that she’d argued – her ankle really was quite sore. Luckily, being the slayer, she doubted that she could have hurt it too badly.

As the nurse pushed her back to the exam room, Buffy frowned and squirmed uncomfortably. No matter how fast Graham got there and she was discharged, it wouldn’t be fast enough. She’d already had an aversion to hospitals, but after all the time she’d spent there while her mom was sick, she hated being there even more.

***

"Okay, promise not to tell a soul?"

Lisa rolled her eyes, "You can’t tell me you have something important to tell me and then honestly expect me to tell you not to tell me!"

Dawn frowned, confused. "What?"

"Just tell me why you have been acting weird all morning!"

"Well, first I was worried about the audition but now that it’s over with I started thinking about-"

"Dawn, just get to the point!"

"I was *trying* to!" she said defensively, "Anyway, last night after I went to bed I decided to get some milk and when I came downstairs I saw Buffy and Graham in the living room, kissing."

Lisa’s eyes widened. "Kissing? Kissing how? Kissing like you’d kiss your brother or kissing like you’d kiss your *lover*?"

"Well, since I don’t have a brother, I can’t be *sure*, but I think if I kissed him like she was kissing Graham, it would be illegal in some states. Plus, she was sitting on his lap, sorta straddling him, and his hands were up her shirt."

"Are you for real?" she gasped.

"Yes, but you can’t say anything. Buffy doesn’t know I know and she would *kill* me for telling you."

"I won’t," Lisa assured her, then grinned. "This is so exciting. Our matchmaking is working, don’t you see?"

"Maybe, they certainly seemed to like each other last night," Dawn commented.

"Why aren’t you happier? I thought you liked Graham."

"I do, and I like the idea of him dating Buffy. He’s really cool and she deserves some happiness," she explained, "It’s just that this morning, he was gone and Buffy acted like nothing had happened."

"And you didn’t say anything?" Lisa prodded.

"Of course not. It’s kind of embarrassing. At least I didn’t walk in on them doing it. Do you think they did it?"

"Probably. Did they come upstairs?"

Dawn shook her head and put her face in her hands, "I am never going to look at that chair the same way again. Forget sitting in it!"

"They probably want to announce their relationship together. Do you think they just decided to get together last night and then they consummated their love? That is so romantic!"

"I don’t know, I’ve been thinking about it, trying to look for hints that they had something going. I mean, Graham would hug her goodbye, but Xander does that sometimes and I *know* they’re just friends. They’d better be, because if Buffy does it with Xander, Anya will rip all her hair out."

"Well, they’ll tell you sooner or later. They are probably so in love that they don’t want anyone to know because they want to keep their precious love to themselves."

"Lisa, you need to read some ‘Babysitter’s Club’ books or something."

"Ooh, I bet you’ll get the part of Bianca. Then you can have Buffy take you out for a celebratory dinner and invite Graham and maybe they’ll decide to tell you. You’ll be in a good mood so then they will feel safer telling you, because maybe they’re scared you won’t take it well. Oh, this is so exciting!"

"I’m serious, I’ll lend you some of mine."

***

Graham walked into the emergency room, absently noting that for a small town their hospital was always busy, and made a beeline for the front desk.

A busy nurse finally gave him her attention, "May I help you?"

"Yes, a friend of mine is a patient. She called me to come get her. Buffy Summers."

"Oh, yes. Things are taking a bit longer than we originally expected. I’ll take you to her," she smiled, walking around the counter and leading him to a makeshift room with curtains for walls.

He felt a mixture of relief and sympathy as he saw Buffy sitting on the edge of the hospital bed looking quite miserable but not very injured.

"Your friend is here," the nurse announced. "Dr. Padget still hasn’t talked to you?"

"No," Buffy told her, giving Graham a small smile.

"X-ray is probably just backed up, I’ll call and check for you," the nurse replied, leaving the two of them alone.

"I’m sorry, I thought I’d be ready to go by now."

"Hey, it’s okay, I don’t have anywhere else to be."

"Except sleeping," she pointed out.

"Buffy, I doubt I went to bed last night much later than you did and I didn’t get up nearly as early."

She sighed, "Do you work tonight?"

"Nope, so I can catch up on my sleep later," Graham told her, "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good, considering the state of my car. It’s totaled," she lamented, rubbing her forehead.

"What happened?" he asked, sitting on the bed beside her.

"I was stopped at a light when this guy was coming down the cross street and was busy fumbling with his cell phone while attempting a left. Unfortunately, he got the wrong side of the road and smacked into the front of my car with his stupid Expedition."

"God, you’re lucky you escaped with as few injuries as you did. How’s your ankle, by the way?"

"Throbbing, but I’m sure my great healing will take care of that soon. Any time now. Hopefully within a few minutes."

"How exactly did it get hurt?"

"When the front of the car got crushed, my foot twisted and got stuck. The EMT’s had to get it out." Buffy sighed, "God, my car, Graham! I have no car! Okay, I went for a very long time without a car but now I have all these adult responsibilities like groceries and Dawn and I really need a car. What am I going to do?"

"Did the guy who hit you have insurance?"

She nodded, "I think so."

"Well then his insurance company will send you a check and you can use it towards getting a new car."

"Okay, and in the meantime?"

"You can rent a car. I think auto insurance sometimes covers that too."

"You have an answer for everything," she remarked.

Graham smirked, but before he could respond, a middle-aged man in a white lab coat entered the room.

"Miss Summers, sorry about the wait," he said, then smiled at Graham. "Hello."

"Hi," he replied, smiling politely.

"This is my friend, Graham."

"Hello, Graham, I’m Dr. Padget," the man said as he glanced over Buffy’s chart and made a few notes. "I looked at the x-rays and it turns out that you sprained your ankle. Actually, you’re quite lucky that it didn’t break, getting stuck like it did."

"Yeah, I feel like this is my lucky day," Buffy replied sarcastically.

The doctor smiled, "I’m going to have someone come in and wrap it for you. We’re going to give you some crutches, but I want you to stay off your feet for a couple days. It will probably take a week or so to heal and then you should go see your regular physician. I’m also going to prescribe some Tylenol with codeine. I want you to take one before you leave the hospital and then you can take another when the pain gets to be too much as long as it’s been 8 hours."

"Oh this is great, how can I take care of Dawn if I am doped up and can’t walk?"

"Don’t worry, I’ll help. And everyone else will be glad to pitch in too," Graham told her.

"Take it easy. If you push yourself too hard, you’ll only set back your recovery," the doctor warned her.

Buffy frowned, but decided she should listen to him. That would be the mature thing to do. She just hoped Dawn didn’t run wild without constant supervision. This was turning out to be a really crappy day.

Graham frowned as he watched Buffy struggle with her crutches as she made her way to the couch. He had offered to carry her several times, since her nerves were shot and the pain meds were making her drowsy, but she had insisted she could do it herself and he knew when Buffy was going to stand firm.

She collapsed on the couch and sighed, "I know I didn’t have to avert an apocalypse or get my heart broken… but this really sucks, you know?"

"I know… and I know you won’t believe me, but after you take some time to calm down and get some rest, things won’t seem as bad."

"You’re right, I don’t believe you," she retorted, then gave him a sad smile. "My mom kept it together for all these years. She took care of the bills and us and even ran the gallery and made it look easy. I’ve just been at it for months and I wrecked the car."

"Hey, for one thing, the same thing could have happened to your mom. And for another… your mother wasn’t twenty years old when she all of a sudden had to start raising a fifteen year old and take care of bills and a house. Nobody expects you to take this all on with no problems," Graham told her. "And in all honestly, I look at you and all you do and I am amazed."

"You’re just saying that because you’re my friend," she smiled shyly.

"I’m not! I’m a good friend… if you were screwing up, I would tell you," he promised her. "Now… do you want anything to eat or drink?"

Buffy would have liked to tell him that she didn’t need anything, but she was really thirsty and since she sincerely doubted she’d be able to get herself into the kitchen anytime soon, it only seemed smart to fess up.

"Diet coke?"

"Sure," he smiled and went into the kitchen. He emerged a moment later with a glass of soda for her.

Insisting on getting her comfortable, Graham had Buffy tell him where to get her a blanket and some pillows before the two of them relaxed with the television on.

Growing drowsy, a thought hit Buffy. "Oh no, what time is it?"

"A little after twelve, why?"

"Dawn’s class lets out at one."

"I’ll pick her up, then," he told her. "It’s at the college?"

Buffy nodded, "Satterfield Hall."

"Don’t worry, I’ll leave in a little bit and Dawn will find me waiting for her as soon as she’s done."

***

At half past twelve, all the students sat anxiously in the seats of the auditorium and watched with bated breath as Craig Dannen stood on the stage and announced who got what part.

When he said that Dawn Summers would portray Bianca, the brunette sat in shock, frozen still. As much as she had hoped and prayed she would get the part over the past few weeks, she had never imagined what it would feel like to really get it.

Once he was finished, Mr. Dannen allowed the kids to socialize until their rides came to pick them up. It was only after talking to Lisa for ten minutes that it started to sink in. By one o’clock, Dawn rushed out to the parking lot, excited to give Buffy her news.

However instead of finding any sign of the black jeep or her sister, she found Graham standing in the lot beside his Mustang. Her heart stopped as she immediately was filled with fear. Buffy would never have Graham pick her up without a good reason.

Instantly, dozens of reasons why Buffy wasn’t there passed through her mind, most of them along the lines of something horrible happening to her sister. She couldn’t lose Buffy… she was all Dawn had left! Panicked, she broke into a run until she reached Graham.

"What’s going on? Where’s Buffy?"

"Calm down, it’s okay," he assured her. "Buffy got in a car accident."

"Oh God!"

"But she’s *fine*. She just has a sprained ankle, that’s it," Graham explained. "The doctor gave her some pain killers and they made her drowsy, so she is asleep at home right now."

"You left her alone?!"

"Dawn, she’s just sleeping and it’s not for that long. Come on, we can go back right now."

Dawn nodded and allowed him to help her into the passenger seat of the car. Graham climbed in his side and quickly started the engine, eager to get her home so that she could see her sister. It hadn’t occurred to him before, but upon seeing the look on her face when she had spotted him waiting, Graham realized that Dawn was terrified of losing Buffy. And with good reason… she’d learned far too young what it was like to lose a parent. That’s what Buffy was to her now… and Graham had to prove to her that everything would be okay.

At long last, they pulled into the driveway in front of the Summers’ home. Graham had just barely stopped the car before Dawn tore out and raced into the house. He quickly followed and found her standing in the doorway to the living room, staring at her sleeping sister.

"She’s okay?" she asked in a small voice.

Graham nodded, "I promise, she’s fine. She’ll have to rest her ankle for a few days, but then she will be good as new."

Dawn moved to kneel beside the couch, just to be sure Buffy was breathing. After a few moments, she felt more confident of her sister’s health and turned to Graham and smiled, "Buffy’s going to go crazy if she has to rest for a few days."

He returned the smile, "Probably… so you really should try to go easy on her, okay?"

She nodded, "Sure." At that moment, she was so filled with relief and gratitude that Buffy was indeed fine, it was easy to agree to something as simple as that.

"Hey, how about we go make some lunch?"

Dawn shook her head, "I want to stay here in case she needs me."

"She’s going to be asleep for hours, she won’t need anything for a while. Besides, we’ll be able to hear her in the kitchen. Come on," Graham persuaded.

Reluctantly, Dawn stood and went into the kitchen with him. After a few moments, they found a frozen pizza and put it in the oven.

"Hey, with all the excitement, I forgot to ask… how did the audition go?"

Dawn smiled, "I got the part."

"That’s great! Not that I’m surprised… you nailed it last night. Wait until Buffy wakes up, she’s going to be so happy."

Her smile widened at that. Buffy would be really happy for her, she was positive. That would be the perfect thing to tell her when she woke up. Dawn couldn’t wait to talk to her… and she was so caught up in everything that was happening that what she had witnessed the night before completely slipped from her mind.

***

"Hey," Graham said quietly, smiling at Buffy as her eyes fluttered open.

She looked over at him, still somewhat in a haze, before she tried to reply and found her throat was extremely dry.

Graham got up and left for a moment before returning with a glass of water. Helping her sit up a bit, he assisted her in drinking until she’d finished the glass.

"Want more?"

Buffy shook her head, more awake now. "Thank you."

"You’re welcome," he replied, sitting down in the chair again, "How are you feeling?"

"Okay… my ankle hurts a little, but I can deal with it. What time is it?"

"About seven o’clock. You’ve been out for about six and a half hours."

"Oh God, I can’t believe I did that."

"Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure it was the Tylenol 3," he grinned wryly.

Buffy looked around and asked, "Where’s Dawn?"

"She had to use the restroom. She’ll be very disappointed that she didn’t get to witness your awakening," he half-joked. "She’s spent the past few hours not so patiently waiting for you to wake up."

"Sometimes she can be sweet," Buffy smiled.

"Do you feel up to eating something? You probably should get something in your system soon."

Groaning, she replied, "I was supposed to go to the grocery store today! We have hardly any food."

"I know, that’s why I went to the store earlier and got you some essentials. You know, milk, bread, lunchmeat, cereal… not a lot, but enough to get you through a few days until you fill up to making a full list for me," Graham told her.

"You went grocery shopping for me?" Buffy asked, surprised. Sure, Graham was a very considerate guy, but that was definitely above and beyond the call of duty. Actually, his still being there was quite generous of him.

"Yeah… I hope you don’t mind, but I left Dawn here with you. I know she was basically unsupervised, but she refused to leave your side and she was so anxious about you that I knew she wouldn’t do anything bad."

"No, that’s okay," she said quietly, then gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you for all your help. I really owe you."

"Hey, we’re friends, right? I’m just doing my job."

"You’re awake!" Dawn exclaimed as she walked into the room before running over to the couch and bending down to hug Buffy tightly.

"I’m fine, Dawnie… don’t worry."

"Never get in a car accident again, you scared me!"

"I won’t, I promise," Buffy smiled up at her.

"See, I told you she was okay," Graham said.

Dawn grinned at him, blissful that he had been telling the truth. Turning back to Buffy, she took a deep breath. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"I got the part!"

Buffy’s eyes widened and she beamed at Dawn, "That’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you!"

"Thanks!" the younger girl said, ecstatic that she finally got to share her news with her sister.

"Man, I had planned on us celebrating tonight and now we have nothing."

"That’s okay, we can do it when you’re all better. I’m just glad you didn’t get hurt worse. The jeep is really totaled?"

Buffy nodded, "It’s a goner."

"Well, I’m not happy that you were in an accident, but at least we’re rid of that hunk of junk."

Rolling her eyes, her sister told her, "Easy for you to say. You don’t have to worry about getting a new one… the hassle it will be and the whole money thing. But remember that we have no car for a while now."

"That’s easy!" Dawn retorted, holding her hand up to her ear like a phone, "Hello Avis, I’d like to rent a car, preferably a convertible!"

"I sure hope my insurance will cover that," she sighed.

"Don’t worry Buffy, we’ll be fine."

Despite all her worries, Buffy smiled and tucked Dawn’s hair behind her ear. "Yeah, we will."

"Want me to make you a sandwich?" Dawn offered.

"That would be nice, thank you."

As the teenager trotted out of the living room, Buffy and Graham exchanged amused looks.

"Do you really think she’s okay?"

"Yeah… she was really upset when I picked her up, but she calmed down when she saw you. And now that you’re awake, she is sure you’re fine and so she is fine."

Buffy sighed again, "Poor Dawn… when I was scared of losing her… I just couldn’t imagine going through life without her. And at least I don’t have to rely on her to take care of the house and bills and make sure there is food on the table. I imagine it must be pretty scary for her."

"But she is a good kid… she’ll get through this. She’s got a great sister to make sure she does," Graham replied.

Buffy granted him a smile and wished, not for the first time, that he wasn’t Riley’s best friend and that they could be a real couple.

***

"Hello?"

"Hey, it’s me," Dawn said into the telephone.

"Hi," Lisa replied, "What’s up?"

"Buffy got in a car accident."

"Oh my God, is she okay?"

"Yeah, she sprained her ankle, but she’s fine," Dawn explained, "The car is totaled… I know I should be all mature and say that’s bad, but we’re getting a new car!"

"Awesome!" Lisa grinned, "So do you have to play nurse?"

"Not so much… Graham’s been here and he’s more than happy to cater to her every need. You know, with all the freaking I did about her being hurt I forgot about it, but this morning I realized that neither of them have said anything about them being a couple."

"Hmm, that’s weird," her friend frowned. "Well, maybe they’re just dealing with this for now. Once Buffy gets better, they’ll probably tell you."

"You think?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

It was Dawn’s turn to frown. "I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal. I mean, if they just told me out of the blue that they were getting married, it would be a shock, but dating isn’t that big a deal."

"Yeah, but Buffy is dating her ex’s friend and that’s sort of against the rules. They’re probably nervous about being judged, so I think they’re putting it off to avoid your possible disapproval."

"Well that’s silly. Sure, if I was Riley, I probably wouldn’t be too happy. But I like Graham better anyway."

"You could always tell them what you saw," Lisa smirked.

"Yeah right! Talk about embarrassing conversations I never want to have!"

"Then wait it out. Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. True love conquers all!"

Dawn rolled her eyes. Lisa may be her best friend and a very cool person, but when she read romance novels, she could be such a fruitcake!

***

"I wish I didn’t have to work tonight."

"We’ll be fine. In fact, it’s not even necessary that Xander’s here. I feel a lot better today and can use my crutches," Buffy said.

"Rest," Graham ordered. "Remember, the more you rest, the faster you heal."

"Yes doctor," she replied sarcastically.

"Now, that sounds interesting," he teased.

Buffy blushed, "Pervert."

"Yeah, like you wouldn’t love to play. Maybe I’ll come by after work."

"I thought I needed to get my rest?"

"Well, too much rest can be bad," Graham said playfully.

She grinned, "Oh really?"

Dawn and Xander were busy in the backyard… allegedly watering plants, but Graham had a feeling they would be having a water fight. Nevertheless, he knew they were otherwise occupied and probably wouldn’t walk in on he and Buffy.

With that in mind, he sat down on the edge of the couch and bent his head down to capture Buffy’s lips in a passionate kiss. Her arms found their way around his neck as she eagerly reciprocated.

All too soon, Graham had to pull away, out of fear of being caught as well as getting too carried away. He supposed if they were careful, they could make love with Buffy’s ankle being hurt… but this was not the time nor place.

"I’d better get going."

Breathlessly, Buffy nodded.

"Take it easy tonight."

"Be careful," she replied, giving him a small smile.

"Always am. I’ll call you, okay?"

"Okay, bye," she called as he waved and walked out the front door.

Closing her eyes, Buffy rested her head against the cushions and wondered for probably the millionth time… what the hell was she doing?

***

"Buffy, you don’t need to walk me across the street," Dawn sighed as she grabbed her backpack and walked to the door.

"Mom always did and I don’t want Melinda’s mother thinking I am some sort of a…. bad guardian."

"Mom went over and talked about boring stuff with Mrs. Roberts. You have nothing in common with her."

"She’ll think I’m irresponsible."

"You’re on crutches, you have a great excuse," Dawn countered, "And we’re going to look totally bizarre."

Buffy rolled her eyes, "You act like I have three eyeballs. Come on!"

Her sister sighed, but opened the door, with Buffy following closely. It had been four days since her accident and she was absolutely tired of the couch and had been all over the house on her crutches all day. She’d never admit it to Dawn, but now she was rather tired and planned on taking a nap as soon as she left Dawn at Melinda’s for a slumber party.

When Mrs. Roberts answered the door, Dawn greeted her before unenthusiastically announcing that her sister had come along. She’d soon gone upstairs to be with the other girls, leaving Buffy alone to be doted on by the older woman.

She made it clear that she already felt just terrible about the girls being without their mother… and to add Buffy’s accident to it… she was just amazed Buffy could put on such a brave face. The woman meant well, but Buffy couldn’t take much of that before using her nap as an excuse to go home.

She didn’t lie, though, because as soon as Buffy made her tedious climb back up the stairs – since she refused to get back on the couch – she climbed on the bed and conked out. When she awoke, several hours had passed and it was dark out. She managed to make herself a TV dinner and sat down on the couch to eat it.

After spending the next few hours vegging out watching television, there was a knock at the door. Buffy frowned, since it was kind of late, but climbed up to get it. She found Graham standing on her porch, still in uniform.

"Hi," she smiled, "I didn’t think you were coming by tonight."

"Well, I remembered Dawn telling me about her sleepover, so I figured you could use some company," Graham replied, walking into the house and shutting the door behind him before giving Buffy a gentle kiss. "And I come bearing gifts."

Buffy grinned as she saw him hold up a box. "Is that what I think it is?"

"If you think it’s a Triple Chocolate Chip cheesecake, then you’re right."

"Oh my, you must have been sent from Heaven," she sighed.

"Are you talking about me or the cake?" he joked.

"Wanna sit in the living room? I can go get plates and silverware."

"How about *you* sit down while *I* get the silverware?" Graham suggested.

"Fine," she sighed before heading back into the living room.

A moment later, Graham sat beside her on the couch and cut them both slices of the cake. For a while, they were content just so sit beside each other and eat while watching Maury Povich. The episode was about teenage girls that were completely out of control.

"Can you see Dawn and I ending up like that?"

"No, I think you like your privacy too much," Graham replied.

"I meant, can you see Dawn becoming a total slut and doing drugs and stealing and all that because she has no father and *I* am the closest thing she has to a mother?"

"No, not at all."

"But don’t you think her chances of being screwed up are pretty good?"

Graham thought a moment before replying. "Not really… I think that what happened to her could cause her to have problems, but I also think she has a great role model in you and that you won’t allow her to let the things that have happened cause her to be a bad kid."

"You think we can actually control it?" Buffy asked him.

"Well, I think there are instances where a parent can’t do anything to stop their child from becoming… messed up. However, Dawn had a good start and we know how great she can be… so we know she is capable of not being bad," he explained. "I don’t think that just because something happens to you, you have to end up dysfunctional. We’re all made either good or bad. Like me… I had no father. I could have ended up hating women or shooting up my school according to what the studies say. But I’m not like that. I think I could probably even get away with being a selfish jerk, using women and all that… because I lost my mom and my dad was like that, so life just done me wrong… but I have good in me."

Buffy smiled and tenderly traced her finger over his jaw. "Yeah, you do."

Graham leaned over and soon the two were kissing and touching each other all over. Pulling back, he rested his forehead against hers and whispered, "Do you want to go upstairs? I know you’re still hurting, so you may not want to, but we can be careful."

Buffy smiled and nodded slightly, "I’d like that."

Instead of letting her struggle with the crutches, Graham stood and lifted Buffy up, carrying her bridegroom style up the stairs. "Is Dawn coming home in the morning?"

"No, she has to get up early and go to her drama class. One of the other girls there is in the class too, so her mom is driving them since I can’t," Buffy exclaimed.

"Good… then I can stay the night," he replied, smiling down at her.

Buffy returned the smile before lifting her head and kissing him once again. Finally, they reached her room and Graham was laying her on the bed. He climbed on beside her, lying on the opposite side of her wounded ankle so as not to cause her any pain. His hand moved to the side of her face, turning her towards him a bit before dipping his head down to kiss her slowly. Buffy melted into the kiss, her fingers finding their way into his short hair as she arched her back.

Their need for one another grew stronger as hands explored flesh, pulling garments off each other, caressing, stroking… until both were nude and Graham was on top of Buffy, still mindful of her ankle. Buffy carefully spread her legs, knowing if she moved her ankle the wrong way, she’d be *so* out of the mood.

Graham slid inside her with painful slowness before pulling back and thrusting inside her, again unhurried. As they set a decidedly leisurely pace, their mouths melded together, tongues imitating the actions of their lower bodies.

Feeling his climax approaching, Graham reached between their bodies and lightly stroked her distended nubbin. Less than a moment later, Buffy was crying out and arching her back as orgasm slammed through her. Graham allowed the enhanced pleasure of her strong muscles squeezing him to bring him over the edge as well, moaning her name as he spilled his seed deep inside her.

***

"Buffy?"

"Hmm?" she replied, cracking her eyes open and finding Graham peering down at her in the dim light.

He smiled, "Hey…. I was wondering if maybe I should go now? Dawn may see my car when she goes to class and could get curious… we could tell her I just came over early, but I’d rather not arouse her suspicions."

Buffy nodded quickly, "You’re right. Besides, knowing Dawn, she could come over here before she leaves."

"Okay… it’s only six-thirty, but if I go now, we can be sure she doesn’t see me," he said, climbing out of the bed and pulling on his boxers.

Buffy sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest, "That would be the best thing to do."

"And then later, I’ll come back and pick you up. We can go run your errands."

"That would be great," she forced herself to smile. "Thank you."

"Sure," Graham replied, pulling his shirt over his head before he walked back to the bed to bend down and give her a kiss. "I’ll call you later. Go back to sleep."

"I will… bye," she called after him.

Buffy lay back against the pillows, listening to his footfalls on the stairs followed by the sound of the front door opening and closing. She stared at the ceiling for a long while until tears blurred her vision.

Why did she do this? Why did she act like she was fine having casual sex with Graham when it was tearing her apart? She didn’t like having to sneak around and lie. She wanted to be able to tell her sister about the guy she was seeing and have him there to go out on dates when she wanted romance, to hold her in the mornings with the sun shining down on them… she wanted love.

As she drifted back off to sleep, Buffy wondered what she had done in a past life to have such crappy luck with men. First Angel, who loved and accepted all of her, and she in turn loved with her whole heart…. but that love lead to soul loss and death. The Riley, who was so wonderful, so perfect… but he couldn’t deal with her being the slayer. And now Graham… sensitive, generous, kind…. and not at all interested in her for anything besides sex…. and possibly friendship.

***

"God, this is a hassle. Remind me not to get in another wreck," Buffy half-joked as she struggled to sit down in the passenger seat of the mustang.

Graham stood and held open the door for her, having learned the hard way earlier that morning that she didn’t want any help.

"At least now it’s all taken care of. We’ll get the last of the information about the accident to the insurance company and they can do whatever they have to do to get you a check."

"Good… I can tell my ankle is getting better. I want to be able to buy a new car as soon as possible. I hate having to bug other people for rides."

"I really don’t mind," he insisted, shutting the door as she was settled in her seat. He walked around the car and climbed in the driver’s side, before asking, "Did you ever check and see if your insurance covers a car rental? Then you don’t have to worry about it."

"It doesn’t matter. The youngest you can be to rent a car is twenty-one," she sighed.

"I didn’t even realize that," he tried to sound sad for her, but truthfully, it kind of pleased him. He knew it was shameful… but it was nice being able to spend time with her as he drove her around.

"Yeah, it sucks, but what are you going to do?" Buffy looked at him as he started the engine, "How much do you think they’ll give me?"

Graham shrugged, "When I called your insurance company last Friday, they told me that the other guy’s company would have to go to the junk yard and look at the jeep, then factor in the Blue Book price and the condition of the car prior to the accident to give you a check."

"I hope I get a lot. My parents bought it just before they separated and it was pretty expensive, so even though it was six years old, I should still get enough to at least have a big down payment on another car, right?"

"I’m sure it will be fine. Plus, you have your savings, right?"

"Yeah," she sighed, "But I’m not sure my savings can handle a new car right now. I’ll have to call Mr. Boyd."

"Sounds smart to me," he agreed, feeling really guilty for actually taking pleasure in Buffy’s misfortune… even if it wasn’t a *lot* of pleasure. She had a sister and house to take car of and now no vehicle and he was enjoying the fact that she was relying on him for transportation?

***

"Hey, I just realized that it’s almost one. Do you need me to pick Dawn up from her class?" Graham asked as he came into the living room after using Buffy’s bathroom.

She looked up at him and smiled, "That’s okay, Mary’s mother Polly – the one who drove her this morning – told me she will be happy to take Dawn to and from there until I get another car."

"That’s very nice of her," he commented, sitting beside her on the couch.

"I’ll say… I’m going to have to be the one to take Mary and Dawn to class and the mall… and the movies… everywhere… when it’s inconvenient for Polly for the next month," she joked.

"What’s this?" he asked, gesturing to the paper resting in Buffy’s lap.

"I figured I should check out the prices of used cars. I have no idea how much I am getting, but when I get the check, I will know whether or not to be happy or depressed. Unfortunately, I’m not trusting myself here… I know nothing about cars. I’ll probably get ripped off."

"Well, you trust me, right? I have some idea of the good cars and I can do research. I’ll check stuff out for you."

Buffy smiled, "You’d do that for me?"

"Of course," Graham grinned, leaning over so their lips were less than an inch apart. "You’re a great kisser."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmm-hmm… how long do you think we’ll have until Dawn gets home?"

"Probably only fifteen minutes," she replied, "But I suppose we can make do with the time we have…"

"I suppose…" he agreed, before covering her mouth with his own. He wished he could take her upstairs… or even just strip her right there on the couch… and love her like there was no tomorrow… but it looked like he would have to settle for making out and some heavy petting.

All her earlier thoughts about how crappy this affair was making her feel when she was all alone flew out of her mind when Graham’s talented hands and lips worked their magic on her. How could anything that felt so good be bad?

***

"Hi!" Dawn greeted cheerfully as she opened the front door and found Graham standing on the porch.

"Hey Dawn, how’s it going?"

"Not too good. Buffy’s being weird… maybe you can fix her," she said, stepping aside to allow him in.

Graham frowned, "Weird how?"

"Well, for one thing, she decided to quit using the crutches today so she is hobbling all over the place and I don’t think that’s helping. Plus, she’s being really quiet and stuff… I know she is thinking about something bad, but of course she won’t tell me."

"Where is she?"

"Kitchen. Have fun!"

He sighed before heading through the house to the kitchen, finding Buffy standing in front of the sink. She appeared to be washing dishes, but was currently staring out the window instead.

"Buffy?"

Startled, Buffy whirled around, hurting her ankle in the process. She grimaced, but didn’t lose her balance.

"Why aren’t you on your crutches?"

"I’m healing, I can tell… and I’m sick of those things. Give me another day and I will be fine."

Graham rolled his eyes, but knew it wouldn’t do him any good to try and persuade her otherwise. "Is something wrong?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes, "Why would you ask that?"

"Because Dawn is quite sure you have something on your mind."

She sighed, "I should have known she would be able to tell."

"So what is it?"

Buffy rinsed the soap off the plate and set it in the rack before limping over to the table and sitting down, gesturing for Graham to do the same.

"Mr. Boyd came over today and we went over the finances. Apparently he has been trying to avoid giving me bad news until I’ve had some time to mourn my mother."

"You have financial problems too?"

She laughed humorlessly, "Of course… it’s one thing after another."

"Did you just overestimate how much you had?"

Buffy shook her head and took a deep breath, "Mom had us set up pretty well. She had life insurance and all that… but the hospital bills were killer and wiped a lot of that out. We still have some savings, plus I’ll get social security for Dawn until she is eighteen… but with the house and our little habit where we like to eat… I don’t have the money to be buying a car."

"What are you going to do?" he asked, not bothering to try and suggest the check she got would cover the cost of an entire car.

She shrugged, "Get a job?"

"I guess that’s your only option. I wish there was something else, Buffy."

She smiled, "It’s not like working for a living is such an amazing hardship. I hear a lot of people have been trying it!"

"Any ideas on where you will work?"

"No… maybe retail or waitressing… first I need to worry about my damn ankle healing."

"Good idea," he said, "And, you know, I have some money saved…"

"No! Absolutely not. Look, we don’t have money to go on like we are for the rest of our lives, but Dawn and I are fine. And even though I am going to have to earn some money for a new car, I can use the check for a down payment… we’re going to eat, get a new car, I’m going to work.. everything will work out," she assured him.

Graham grinned, "Isn’t it supposed to be *me* telling *you* that?"

"Nah, I’m self reliant."

"You certainly are," he nodded, feeling a renewed sense if admiration for her strength.

"But I do have to admit that before you came in here, I was full of worries and all that… so talking to you made me feel better," Buffy told him honestly.

Graham beamed; it felt good to help her. And to be the one she could open up to, confide in… and help her work through her problems… that was pretty important. Unfortunately, whenever his thoughts drifted off in that direction, Riley soon entered his mind…. and he was reminded that what he really wanted, he could never have.

***

"Come on, Spike, one more game!" Dawn grinned, after beating the pants off the vampire at their last round of rummy.

Spike shook his head, "You have to get up early tomorrow for your class."

She rolled her eyes, "I promise not to tell Buffy that you let me stay up late."

"You think I’m just making you behave to impress your sister?!"

"Well… yeah."

"I’m not!" he frowned, "Now go to bed."

Dawn sighed and rose, "Fine… night Spike."

"Goodnight, Niblet," Spike called after her as the girl headed up the stairs. He spent the next ten minutes cleaning up the mess left over from their card game and snacks. Buffy was supposed to make it a short night and would be home soon. He would have preferred to be out patrolling with her, especially since she wasn’t back to full health yet, but she had asked him to stay with Dawn… and there was no way he would deny her that. After all, for her to trust him with the care of her sister… he chose to be flattered.

Spike went into the kitchen, washing the few dishes that were in the sink before he restlessly did a once-over of the entire downstairs. Finding that there was nothing to do, he sighed and sat down on the couch. Perhaps there was something on the telly.

There was a time when this would have been a prime opportunity for him to go explore the Slayer’s bedroom, steal her knickers and read her diary… but things had changed. For one thing, there was the whole part about where he had to be serious and respectful in order to win her over. If she caught him in her room, she would kick his ass.

Hearing the key in the lock, Spike looked to the foyer and saw Buffy enter the house. "Hey."

"Hi," she smiled, walking into the room with only a very slight limp.

"How’d it go, Luv?"

"Fine… uneventful. You vampires sure hate a Sunnydale summer, don’t you?"

Spike chuckled, "Only those of us who have nothing that makes us want to stick around."

"Well, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the break," Buffy told him, sitting down in a chair. "So how did things go tonight?"

"Great, Dawn and I had some hot cocoa and popcorn, watched some TV and played cards."

"She loves to play rummy," she said, "I don’t know how, so it’s always a special treat for her to play with you."

Spike shrugged, not quite used to getting compliments from Buffy. "I like to play it."

"Well, I really appreciate you staying with her. I know babysitting isn’t exactly your thing."

"I don’t mind," he replied, feeling a bit awkward. "So… Dawn says you should get the check soon for your car. That’s good."

"Yeah, it will be nice to be mobile soon. *I* can handle a purely pedestrian life, for the most part, but it’s hard with Dawn. I’ve been relying on other people to give her rides to class."

"Y-you know.. if you ever want to, my car is yours."

A smile spread on Buffy’s face, "Spike, you love the DeSoto! You’d really let me borrow it? That’s sweet."

Spike was glad he was unable to blush as he shyly averted his eyes from Buffy’s. Shrugging again, he replied, "Well, it’s a standing offer."

"Thank you," Buffy responded quietly.

"Uh.. I’d better go. Got things to do and all that." He stood up and grabbed his duster.

"Right," she stood and followed. "Well, thanks again… for everything."

"Sure... I’ll see you soon, Pet."

Buffy sighed tiredly, locking the door behind him. A few months earlier, she’d never imagined she would have to deal with a vampire in love with her while having feelings for her ex’s best friend that she was having a sex-based relationship with him. Only a freak like her could have such a bizarre love life.

***

"Graham says I should probably get a used car, maybe from a rental place. He knows people who have done that and gotten some really great deals," Buffy told Giles as she helped him carry books to the front of the store from the stockroom.

"Yes, that is an idea. Graham is knowledgeable about cars?"

She nodded, "He has this old Mustang… cool old, you know? Anyway, he rebuilt the engine or something. And he fixed the jeep before, remember?"

"That’s right, he did," Giles replied. "Now, the check that the insurance company sent you, it won’t cover the cost of another car, will it?"

"No… unless I get a crappy one, and that doesn’t sound smart. Graham says for just about five thousand more, I can get a really good car. You know, one that’s reliable so I won’t have to pour money into it’s repairs and stuff."

"That sounds like a good idea to me," he told her as he began shelving books. "The reason I ask is that you will need to get a loan since you can’t pay for a new car outright."

"I know, that’s a big part of why I’m getting a job," she replied.

Xander had taken her to the doctor the previous morning to have her ankle checked out. The doctor had been pleasantly surprised to find her ankle completely healed, deciding it mustn’t have been as bad as he had originally thought. After that, she had gotten Xander to take her to a few stores and restaurants to fill out an application. She had an interview on Monday, so she would hopefully be gainfully employed within a few days.

"Yes, but when you ask for a loan, they like for you to have had your job for quite some time. At least several months."

Buffy sighed, "So you’re saying they won’t give me one? Just great… so either I keep bumming rides off others or I get a crappy car."

"There is another option," Giles said, halting his stocking to turn and face her. "If you have someone co-sign for you, someone who has had steady employment and the lender feels confident that they *can* pay if you don’t… they will give you the loan. That person will be liable should you back out, but I don’t think it would be hard for you to find someone who has faith in you."

Buffy smiled, "Are you saying what I think you’re saying?"

"I would be happy to co-sign for you."

Her smiled turned into a grin and she hugged him, "Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are a life saver!"

Giles chuckled, "It’s my pleasure."

And he wasn’t lying… he knew Buffy wasn’t his real daughter, but the fact that they didn’t share blood seemed so unimportant. Being able to do this, to help her out with something that didn’t have to do with the Hellmouth… it felt wonderful.

"Now, this means I need to be with you to purchase the car. However, I know that you had planned to go with Graham."

Buffy shrugged, trying to play it cool, completely unaware of the fact that for the past twenty minutes Giles had heard her spout ‘Graham says’ countless times and already had his own ideas about her feelings for the young man. "I’m sure Graham wasn’t looking forward to spending the day looking for a car for me. He’ll probably be relieved."

"Actually, I was thinking that since Graham does know so much about cars, the three of us should go together," he explained, not adding that he really wanted to spend some time with Graham and get to know the fellow… if he was spending so much time with Buffy and Dawn, he wanted to be sure that Graham was of the good sort.

"Oh," she said, a small smile on her face. "Okay."

***

"So, Buffy… it says here that you are willing to work the early shift. You do realize that you have to be here at five o’clock in the morning for that, right?" the older man doing the interview asked.

Buffy nodded, "It actually works out best for me. I’m the sole guardian of my little sister. She’s fifteen, but I still don’t like to leave her alone much. At least this way I will only not be around for her in the mornings… I think it’s better than having her be on her own afternoons or evenings."

"Oh, you take care of your sister? Well, that requires a lot of responsibility," Douglas Markerson replied, impressed.

She gave him a sad smile, "Well, I’m very responsible."

He decided in that moment that she was definitely worthy of being hired. She obviously wasn’t just working for money to buy clothes, and that meant she would work hard to keep the job.

Besides, one look at her face and he could tell that the reason behind her being her sister’s guardian wasn’t a happy one.

"Could you start next Monday? This is Elaine’s last week… she’s the one you’ll be replacing."

She nodded quickly, "That would be fine, thank you!"

"You’re welcome," he smiled gently. "Now, I have to go get some paperwork for you to fill out and then we’ll get you a uniform ordered so you will be all ready to go next Monday. You already have waitressing experience, so it shouldn’t be too difficult for you."

As Mr. Markerson left her alone at the table in the diner, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. She had a job… granted, she was a waitress… but she had income!

***

"I can’t believe you’re just going to be a waitress."

"Dawn!" Willow scolded the younger girl, "Being a waitress is fine!"

"I know, but it’s an icky job. You should have held out for something better."

"I’ll look for something better in a few months. For now, I have a job so we have money to make car payments and I am happy," Buffy replied, "Besides, the great thing about waitressing is that you get tips so you don’t have to starve until your next paycheck."

Dawn’s eyes widened, "We may starve?"

"It was a figure of speech," Buffy sighed. "I told you not to worry, we’re fine. It’s just that getting a new car makes a new job necessary."

"You know, you can sue the guy who hit you," Anya piped in as she carried some books over to a shelf near them. "Then you wouldn’t have to get a degrading job hauling food to people and cleaning messes."

"I can’t afford a lawyer," Buffy replied.

"Oh, it doesn’t matter, I’m sure you will win and then you can pay the lawyer with your settlement money!" Anya explained.

The slayer quirked her eyebrow. "Hmm… maybe."

"Hello ladies!" Xander greeted everyone as he walked into the Magic Shop.

"Good, you’re here… I was worried you had forgotten," Dawn said, gathering her bag and jacket.

"Forget Dawn’s ultra important skating party? Never," Xander grinned.

Buffy smiled at him, "I appreciate this, thank you."

"No prob, Buffy."

"See you guys later," Willow said.

"Yes, and Buffy don’t forget to stay away from my boyfriend. I still remember many torturous things that I can do to you from my demon days," Anya reminded her.

Buffy rolled her eyes, "Bye guys."

"So, how did the interview go?" Xander asked as they followed Dawn out of the store and to his car.

"Great, I got the job," she informed him.

"Well, that’s good news! Now you don’t have to worry about that at least."

"Yeah… I’m a little leery about being gone in the mornings, but I think I can trust Dawn to get herself up and ready for her drama class on the days she has it… and on the days she won’t, I am going to allow her to be alone until I get home. I get off at one, so she won’t be left to her own devices for all that long a time. I figure she has less a chance of getting into trouble than if I worked a later shift."

"It sounds good to me. Dawn’s got to have a chance at staying home alone sometime," Xander nodded, "Hey, how’s she going to get to her class? I can drive her if you want."

"That’s sweet," she smiled, "but it’s okay. I talked to Mary’s mother this afternoon and she agreed to drive Dawn every morning and I will pick the girls up every afternoon."

"Aww, you’re driving in a carpool! When’s your first PTA meeting?" Xander teased.

"Ha. Ha. Just get in the car so Dawn won’t be late."

***

"Hey," Graham greeted, walking in the front door of the Summers’ home.

"Hi," Buffy smiled, shutting the door behind him.

"So, how’d it go? I’ve been wondering all day. I even tried to call when I got home from work, but the phone was busy, so I changed and… that’s why I came over," Graham babbled uncharacteristically. After he had started going, he had felt rather self-conscious. Unfortunately, it had never occurred to him on the drive over that being so anxious to hear if she got the job made his true feelings rather transparent.

Buffy tried not to allow herself to be too encouraged by that little omission. She was just… misinterpreting friendly interest as more. It was probably wishful thinking.

"I got the job."

"That’s great!" He hugged her tightly without thinking, then pulled back as it hit him that this wasn’t exactly appropriate. Giving her an awkward smile, he added, "I’m so happy for you."

"Thanks… it’s just a waitressing job, which as Dawn says, is ‘icky’, but it’s a start."

"Hey, you could do a lot worse. Sure, if you could go get a job as a CEO of a company and sit behind a desk while collecting a massive paycheck, I would recommend it… but for right now, this is good."

"I know… it’s money… which I need. Granted, it’s not the money I will deserve for all the hard work and crap I will get from customers, but without a college education, I’m not going to do much better," Buffy said, leading him into the living room.

"Well, maybe you’ll find an opening working in an office as a receptionist or something," he said optimistically as they sat next to each other on the couch.

"Yeah… but those are usually nine-to-five and then Dawn will be left alone all afternoon once she goes back to school."

"She’s fifteen, Buffy," Graham reminded her, "It’s pretty common for kids her age to be left alone."

She sighed, "I know… and when I was her age, I was already babysitting her… but Dawn’s not like other kids. I loved my mother more than anything, but she screwed up with Dawn. She babied her too much, didn’t give her responsibilities… so she couldn’t be left alone. Seriously, it wasn’t fun for me to not be able to go out so that I could watch Dawn, but if I hadn’t, she would have gotten into trouble in some way."

"Really? She doesn’t seem that bad to me."

"Well… she actually has matured a lot since Mom died. I don’t know, maybe leaving her home alone won’t be a huge disaster after all."

"Well, she’s going to be left alone a little with you working now, right?"

Buffy nodded, "In the mornings, before her drama class three days a week, and twice a week she is on her own until I get home from work."

"Well, that’s perfect, because it’s the daytime and not any long stretches of time all alone. It can be a test to see how she’ll do if you get a better job."

Putting her face in her hands as the stress got to her, she replied, "And what if she fails? What if Dawn totally screws up without supervision?"

Graham pulled her hands away and lifted her chin to make her look at him. "First of all, I really believe she won’t screw up. But if she does… you have me, and Giles and Willow, Xander… all your friends. Between all of us, I am sure an arrangement can be made so that Dawn is always with one of us."

"I want to believe you. You make it sound so easy."

"It’s not easy… but it’s not a catastrophe, either. You’re going to have to work hard. You’re going to be tired and have to deal with bills and stress and all that not-so-fun stuff, but you will do it. You’ll get through it all just fine."

"I don’t know how Mom did it. I know that she would spend hours going through bills, but she did it. She ran our house and made sure Dawn and I always had food and clothes and went to school and at the same time she ran a gallery."

"Your mother didn’t just wake up and start doing all that at when she was twenty. She got married and she and your dad dealt with bills and careers. She got to get used to it, while having someone to share the load with, before you and Dawn came along. You’re overwhelmed, understandably, but you aren’t alone. You know that, right?"

Buffy smiled and nodded, "I’m very lucky… I have great friends."

Her stomach growling interrupted the touching conversation.

Smiling sheepishly, she explained, "I was too nervous about my interview to eat breakfast and after Xander took Dawn to her party, he took me to the grocery store so I just got home a little while ago. I was planning on making dinner soon… want to join me?"

"I have a better idea. Let me take you out for a celebratory dinner," Graham offered.

"Oh, you don’t have to…"

"I know I don’t… I want to," he answered honestly. He really did feel like celebrating… plus, as much as he liked Dawn, it would be nice to take her sister to a restaurant all alone. It wouldn’t be a date, but did it hurt to pretend?

"Okay," she answered, giving him a small smile.

***

"What time is the party supposed to be over?" Graham asked as they left the parking lot of the restaurant.

"Lauren’s mother said I should pick her up at the skating rink at about eight."

"Oh… it’s only just past seven. If we were to pick her up now, it would be too early."

"Yeah… I suppose we could go to my house," Buffy replied, wondering if he was alluding to what she thought he might be alluding to. "But that would be kind of inconvenient. For the time it would take us to go there and then to drive to the rink… once we got to the house, we’d just have to turn around and leave."

"Maybe we should do something else instead?"

Buffy smiled wickedly, "Make the next left."

***

"Mmmm…" Graham moaned, reluctantly breaking their kiss as the being in the front seat grew too uncomfortable. "Let’s move to the back."

"Okay," she replied, still breathing heavily.

Once in the backseat, Buffy sat sideways in Graham’s lap and they resumed their steamy make-out session. Slowly, he began inching his hand up her thigh, happy that she was wearing a skirt. Not only because she had great legs… but it made things easier.

When they broke apart to breathe, Buffy panted, "I don’t think we have room to have sex."

"We do," he smirked, "but it wouldn’t be very comfortable. There’s other stuff we can do though."

With that, Graham’s hand slipped under her skirt and moved between her legs to her mound, covered by her damp panties. Buffy gasped and closed her eyes, clenching his shoulders as his fingers applied delicious friction to all the right spots. He moved them underneath the material, sliding one finger inside her and another began to mercilessly tease her clit.

He tenderly nipped at her earlobe and whispered, "Come for me."

Buffy groaned and bit her bottom lip, throwing her head back as she grew closer to orgasm.

The hand that had previously been resting on her hip while he helped support her with his arm moved up to cup her breast through the thin material of her blouse. The dim light prevented Graham from seeing how hard her nipples were, but he could feel them and began to stroke his hand back and forth, teasing her for a few moments before he took one breast in his hand and gently squeezed it while rubbing his thumb over her pebbled peak.

At that point, Graham had two fingers inside her and was still expertly manipulating her clitoris. Between that and the way he was fondling her breasts, she reached her climax and cried out as she came on top of him, violently.

Graham continued his ministrations until she began to calm, gently extracting his hand from her panties and releasing her breast. After licking his fingers clean, he captured her lips in a steamy kiss, allowing her to taste herself.

It was then that Buffy became aware of what all their making out and her wriggling in his lap had done to him. She moved off of him, despite his protests, and sat next to him in the backseat.

"It’s your turn," she said, planting a kiss on his lips as her hands worked on freeing him from the confines of his pants.

When at long last she had his erection in her hand, Buffy gave him a few slow strokes before dipping her head down. She swirled her tongue around the head of his penis, licking up all the pre-cum he had already secreted. Taking him in her mouth, Buffy then began to work the hand that was still forming a tube around his thickness and moved in unison, sliding up and down as her other hand occupied itself by caressing his balls.

It was Graham’s turn to groan as he leaned back in the seat and helped hold Buffy’s hair back, both to aid her and to make it easier for him to watch as her hand and mouth moved up and down his cock.

Abruptly, she stopped and he immediately began to plead with her to keep going. She ignored him and instead she began to lick his length, alternately using the top and bottom of her tongue. Graham felt himself grow closer and closer to release as she gave him a mind-numbing blow job.

"I’m gonna…" he stammered, gritting his teeth.

Buffy moved her mouth back up to the tip of his erection, sucking hard as her hand stroked him at a furious pace.

With a shout, Graham came, spilling his seed inside Buffy’s mouth. She eagerly swallowed every last drop before sitting back up and giving him an evil smile.

"That was fun."

They spent the next few minutes kissing each other languidly until they had to leave or they would be late picking up Dawn. Reluctantly, they separated, Buffy crawling back up to the front seat and giving Graham quite a pleasant view. He carefully rearranged himself in his boxers before zipping his pants up and following.

As they headed back down the dark road that had led to the secluded area Buffy had directed him to, Graham couldn’t help but grin. He’d never experienced anything like this before. It wasn’t just the sex – not that the sex wasn’t great – but he’d never felt the way he did about Buffy for anyone else. Looking over at her, he saw she was relaxing against the back of the seat, a lazy smile on her face.

"You know, most girls prefer a bed to a car," he teased.

Buffy chuckled, "I do too… it’s just that, I don’t know… that was fun. Kinda dangerous and sordid and forbidden. I’ve never done that before."

"Really?" he asked, surprised.

She nodded, "I mean, I’ve kissed while in a car before, but all the guys I went out with before I was a slayer didn’t have cars. I was called a few months after my fifteenth birthday. And pretty soon after that, I was a social leper. My next boyfriend was Angel, and he didn’t have a car either… and then Riley. You know, Riley defile me in a car? No way."

"Yeah…" he said quietly, suddenly wishing this conversation hadn’t taken the turn it did.

The next few minutes were silent as Graham got back on a main road and started heading out to the skating rink. They were stopped at a light when he felt Buffy’s hand on his thigh. He looked over at her and found she was giving him a serene smile, obviously not feeling depressed about Riley like he figured she would be.

"Thank you," she said, "for giving me one of those high school experiences I never had in high school."

"Well, it really put me out, but you’re welcome," he joked.

Buffy gave him a mock dirty look before leaning over and planting a kiss on his lips. Feeling quite pleased again, Graham drove the rest of the way to the rink and pulled to a stop at the curb in front of the rink, as were several other cars, and Buffy opened her door.

"I’ll go get Dawn."

Before she could even get out of the car, Dawn came out of the doors. She walked over to the car, a bright smile on her face.

"Hi! I had so much fun."

"That’s good," Buffy said, standing up, "Did you thank Mrs. Scott and Lauren for inviting you?"

"Yeah…." Dawn replied, looking at her strangely, "Are you okay?"

"I’m fine, why?"

"Your hair is all messed up… and your skirt’s twisted."

Buffy flushed and quickly righted her skirt before running her hands over her hair. "Um… well, I’ve had a long day… didn’t pay attention."

"Okay…" the younger girl said slowly before climbing in the backseat of the car, "Hi Graham."

"Hey Dawn, how was the party?"

"Great," she told him as Buffy got back in the car and shut the door, "You guys should have come. Especially you, Buffy. You love to skate."

"Maybe we can go skating sometime soon," she replied, giving Graham a murderous look. He should have told her!

***

"So, what exactly are we looking for?" Giles asked.

Buffy frowned, "A car, remember?"

"Yes, I know a car," he retorted, "but what kind of car?"

"I’m thinking one that goes and it preferably cute."

"I think she wants the fun and good looks of a sports car, but she needs it to be convenient like a family car at the same time," Graham supplied an answer.

"Thank you," Giles sighed, "Now do you suppose it will be easy to find that mix."

"Probably not," she pouted, "I guess that means I have to go with a sensible car, right?"

"That would be best," Giles replied.

"Fine, but I am not driving any type of wagon vehicle!"

"Hi! How are you all doing?" a salesman greeted as he approached the three.

"We’re fine… and actually, we’d just like to look around for a bit first, okay?" Graham told him.

"Sure, just let me know if you need anything!"

As Buffy started checking out a Miata, Graham turned to Giles and said, "Hope you don’t mind about that. I find it easier to shop cars without some guy trying to make a commission breathing down my neck. Besides, the last thing we need is some guy calling Buffy ‘Little Lady’ or making some comment about vanity mirrors and making her mad."

Giles smiled, "Very true… and I feel quite the same way. If we can get Buffy away from that… miniature version of a car and find her something more realistic, we can get someone to assist us."

Graham nodded in affirmation and the two joined Buffy as she continued to examine the car. They both cringed at the size of the thing – Buffy would fit into it quite well, but if either of them-or anyone else that was over 5’6 – tried to get in, it wouldn’t be very comfortable.

"This one is cute!" she told them.

"Cute is one word for it. Buffy, you can’t get this one," the younger male said.

"Why not?"

"It’s little! You need something to be able to drive around town, take Dawn and sometimes her friends places… buy groceries… remember?" Graham pointed out.

"Well, Dawn and I are little… and I am sure I can fit groceries in it!"

"It’s not nearly as fast as it looks."

"Really?"

Graham nodded, "So can we look at something else?"

They started walking through the lot, occasionally checking out a car, but bypassing all mini-vans – Buffy wouldn’t be caught dead in one – and SUV’s and trucks – they were expensive, gas guzzlers that Buffy definitely didn’t need. A Mustang convertible caught his eye and he couldn’t help but pause and admire it, recalling their hot night of passion in the backseat of his car a few days before.

"I don’t think Giles will go for it, but I do like it," Buffy said from beside him, startling him out of his fantasy.

"At least it’s not a *Miata*," he replied with distaste.

Buffy rolled her eyes, but admitted, "This one *is* cuter."

"And it will actually go when you hit the gas."

"Yeah, but that could be a problem for me. I could get all sorts of nice tickets."

"Buffy, how about this one?" Giles called from twenty feet away.

They turned and saw him standing in front of a midsize car, with four doors… yet it actually didn’t appear like the Mom-Mobile.

With interest, Buffy walked over to him, followed by Graham. She walked around the car, checking it out… and found it really wasn’t bad at all.

"Alero’s are supposed to be pretty good," Graham spoke up, "I knew someone who had a coupe and he loved it. GM is discontinuing Oldsmobile so the resale value may go down, but GM is still a pretty reliable company so I wouldn’t worry about it."

"It seems attractive enough, but would still suit Buffy’s needs," Giles added, quite pleased with himself.

Looking up at the males, Buffy grinned, "Let’s test drive it!"

As the three of them headed back to find a salesman, Giles said, "Now, I suppose we should come up with a plan. Buffy, how much do you have for a down payment?"

"Well, I got eight thousand from the insurance company, but Anya told me I shouldn’t put it all down up front. I should save some to help out with payments… or just as extra money for emergencies. She suggested five thousand down."

"That sounds about right," Graham nodded.

"All right, now I know you don’t like this, Buffy, but you should let Graham and I do most of the talking."

"You’re right, I don’t like it. Look, I know you’re co-signing, but I am still going to pay for the car."

"Yes, but they won’t take you as seriously," Giles pointed out.

Buffy pouted, but didn’t continue to argue. He was, after all, right.

***

Buffy hugged Giles fiercely as they stood beside his BMW. "Thank you again, so much! I am forever in your debt."

"All I did was trust you, which I have done for years now. I’m just trusting you legally now," he told her.

She grinned, "Well I appreciate it. And I won’t let you down!"

"I know you won’t. Now you go enjoy your new vehicle. I’ll see you later."

"Okay, bye!" she said, stepping back as he climbed in the car. As he drove off, she turned and walked back to her recently purchased car, which was parked near the entrance, with Graham waiting patiently for her.

"So, how does it feel to be a car owner again?" he asked, opening the driver’s door for her.

"Feels pretty good!" she replied, sliding into her seat. Yep, definitely felt great.

As soon as she had gotten behind the wheel of the car for her test drive, Buffy had known that this was the car for her. It probably wasn’t as fun as having a sports car, but she did have the whole other ‘motherly’ side of her that thought about stuff like convenience. As much as she’d liked the Miata, it wasn’t a good choice for someone in her position, but this one was, and managed to still be cute enough so that she wasn’t embarrassed to be seen in it.

"You know, I’m really glad we found you something. Now I don’t have to worry about you being stuck," Graham commented as he buckled his seatbelt.

"You worried about me?" Buffy asked, attempting to be casual.

"Well, I wasn’t staying awake at night in a panic, but yeah… I didn’t like the idea of you needing to go somewhere but not being able to."

"Oh," she replied, trying to decide if that was encouraging or just normal for a friend. Xander hadn’t said he was worried about her…

"But now I know you have a good, reliable car. Other than the occasional maintenance like oil changes, you should be fine."

"And Dawn will like it. Not as much as a convertible, but I think she’ll be pleased," she smiled.

"Dawn will definitely be pleased."

"Ooh, what time is it?" she asked, checking out the clock. "Good, we have over an hour until Willow said she would be bringing her home. Want to go out for lunch?"

There were actually other things Graham wanted to do with Buffy, since they hadn’t had enough time alone since that night Dawn had gone to the party, but he could settle for a meal. "Sure… I’m starving."

***

Buffy sighed and slapped the stake against her open palm. It was already ten o’clock, not that late usually… but the next day was her first on the new job and she had to get up at three-thirty, so she really should have been asleep already. However, between her normal jitters about the first day at work, leaving Dawn alone and all the other stress that came with her fun new life, she couldn’t sleep, so she had decided to go on a quick patrol. Luckily Dawn was over at Melinda’s, so she’d been able to leave without having to get a babysitter.

Hearing a rustling sound, she froze, listening closely and deciding there was definitely something around the corner of the mausoleum a few yards to her right. As quiet as possible, she moved along the wall of the mausoleum, poised to attack whatever hid around the corner.

Taking a deep breath, she jumped out with her stake held firmly, ready to fight… and came face to face with the end of Graham’s gun.

She gasped and put her hand to her chest. Obviously just as shaken, Graham moved his weapon away. The two of them were silent for a few seconds as they caught their breath.

"Shit! I thought you were a vampire or something," she exclaimed.

"Same here."

As she calmed down, she frowned and pointed to the gun, "I thought you guys got rid of all that crap. You said you killed them too now."

"We do, but since we’re not all as spry as you, we sometimes need a little leverage in our favor," he explained with a wry smile.

Buffy nodded and sat down on the top of a tombstone, "That makes sense."

"I’m surprised to see you out here. Shouldn’t you be in bed early tonight?"

She nodded, "That was the plan. But I can’t sleep…. You know, that’s another sucky thing about this shift, how am I going to patrol?"

"It’s a temporary job and for the time being, it will be enough to just let my guys and I handle it," Graham assured her, smiling, "And I have the perfect solution for insomnia."

Buffy’s eyes widened, "You want to have sex? Here in the cemetery?"

It was something he never would have dared do normally, but Buffy made him feel different than he ever had in life. She made him want to risk his career just for a fun romp in the cemetery after almost a week without any sex. "You said you like ‘dangerous, sordid and forbidden’, right?"

"I said it was fun to do it in the car and is was ‘dangerous, sordid and forbidden’ but there are a lot of places where that’s true. That doesn’t mean I want to screw you in the grocery store."

He strode over to her, like a predator to his prey, "You really want to tell me that you *never* entertained any thoughts of doing anything here besides patrol?"

Buffy’s mind flashed back to all the how and heavy make-out sessions she had with Angel in this very cemetery and knew how right Graham was.

"You’re sure none of your co-workers will catch us?"

Graham nodded, "I’m in charge, so I know exactly where everyone is assigned and nobody will be coming anywhere near here."

With that said, Buffy pulled his head down to kiss her. His hands moved to her hips and he stood between her spread thighs as he leaned into her. Graham lifted her and Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her off to the side to a small area of ground with no graves and laid her down, resting himself on top of her, but careful not to put all his weight on her.

As their mouths mated, Graham worked on unbuttoning her blouse. Buffy cooperating, pulling her arms out of the sleeves and arching her back to help him remove her bra. She was soon nude beneath him, and while Buffy felt a loss of power being without a stitch on while he was fully clothed…. it turned her on at the same time.

***

Spike heard their moans and whimpers before he saw the couple on the ground in the cemetery.

"Kinky fuckers," he grinned, shaking his head before he took off to get a closer look. If they were just going to go at it in the middle of *his* cemetery, then they deserved to put on a free show for him.

Stopping about ten yards away, Spike leaned against a tree, using the shadows it provided to keep himself hidden. He frowned, realizing this wasn’t just some anonymous couple. At least not her, she was no stranger.

Spike realized that the nude girl who lay in the grass, moaning and writhing beneath this man dressed in camouflage was his beloved Buffy.

His sweet, pure Buffy who didn’t do things that were wrong was fucking in the goddamn cemetery with another bloody human!

His first instinct was to go over and rip the boy off of her and drag her back to his crypt and make her dress before taking her home, all the while lecturing her on what a stupid idea it was to be caught in such a compromising position in a cemetery in Sunnyhell.

However, Spike found his feet wouldn’t move. He was helpless to do anything but stand there and watch with great pain as Buffy and the boy acted like animals. At least with Riley… he had known what they had been doing but he hadn’t been forced to watch it. A small voice inside his head reminded him that he wasn’t being *forced* to watch… he could turn around and leave, drown in his sorrows in some bar… but still, he stayed.

***

"You’re a perv," Buffy giggled as she found her panties and slid them on.

"In that case, so are you," Graham smirked as he fixed his own clothing, which only took a few seconds.

"It was *your* idea."

"*You* enjoyed it just as much as I did," he retorted, cutting off any further comments by covering her lips with his own.

Buffy responded to the kiss, dropping the bra she had just picked up off the ground. They were well on their was to a second round when a voice crackled over the radio Graham wore. Pulling apart, Graham unhooked the radio from his belt and held it in front of his face.

"Miller."

Buffy listened as the guy on the other end informed him of some action near city hall while ahe picked her bra back up and refastened it.

"I’ll be there ASAP," Graham replied, "Over and out."

Buffy started pulling her pants back on and found him looking guiltily at her.

"I feel like a total louse for doing this, but I have to…"

"Go, I know. And I understand. It’s all right."

"You sure you’re okay?"

She smiled, "I can take care of myself better than anyone else."

"That’s true," he said, leaning over to give her one more kiss. "Good luck tomorrow. I’ll give you a call in the afternoon."

"Okay, bye," she replied, watching him go before fastening her pants. As soon as he was gone, all the pleasure she’d felt over what they had just done went with him and Buffy was left with the guilt, shame and worthlessness. Of course, Graham didn’t mean to make her feel like a whore, but what was a girl that you could run into in a graveyard and have on the ground in a matter of moments when you weren’t even dating her?

She felt hot tears sting her eyes as she slid on her blouse. Falling to her knees, Buffy buried her face in her hands as she allowed the tears to fall, full of self-hatred and confusion.

Once the boy left, Spike went on autopilot, letting his pain guide him. She would never love him. She would continue to go to these human boys who couldn’t begin to understand what she needed. He couldn’t bear to witness that. There was only one solution.

He was going to kill her.

The pain that he would feel wouldn’t matter. He’d just wrap his hands around her throat and squeeze the life out of her. In his jealous, pained rage… he saw it as helping Buffy, releasing her from this torturous existence. She couldn’t handle what she really was and pretending to be someone else only hurt her. Besides, he couldn’t let her continue to hurt *him* so much.

Spike crept up behind her huddled form, taking care not to make a sound. He lowered to his knees behind her, staring at the slight shuddering of her shoulders as she cried. He lifted his hands so that he could wrap them around her neck…. but found that he couldn’t do it. As hurt as he was, he loved her. He couldn’t kill her. She was destroying him, but Spike would still do anything for her and there was no way he could choke the life out of her.

Buffy lifted her head, sensing him for the first time, and turned to see Spike kneeling there. "Oh God… did you see?"

He nodded slightly, "Unfortunately, I saw it all."

"Great, just great."

"You regret it?"

"I always do… but I keep doing it."

"So this isn’t the first time?" he asked as casually as possible.

Buffy shook her head, "Far from it. This has been going on for months."

"Who the Hell is he?"

"Graham… you know, Riley’s best friend?"

"Oh, bloody Hell…. I thought you two were just friends."

"Well, in a way, we are. Um.. our arrangement is like… we do it… but he’s not my boyfriend or anything. After all, he’s Riley’s best friend. How would Riley feel if I started dating Graham?"

"He’d probably be just as upset if he found out you were fucking him. If you have such a problem with it, why did you start sleeping with him in the first place?"

"I got drunk… after that, we just couldn’t stop," she explained, despite the fact that this was incredibly private and she was sharing it with *Spike*. "It’s kind of complicated and long."

Spike shrugged, "I’m free all night."

Buffy smiled despite herself, "Well, Dawn is supposed to be home around eleven, so I need to get back there. Do you want some hot cocoa?"

"Absolutely, Luv," he replied, not over the pain of seeing her with Graham, but eager to spend an evening talking with her anyway.

***

"So you love the bloke?" Spike asked, avoiding her eyes so she wouldn’t see the pain in his.

"Yeah," she replied quietly, "I’m sorry, Spike."

"Don’t be, Pet… I know that you can’t help who you love. Believe me, I never would have chosen to fall in love with a *slayer*," he replied, "Err… no offense."

"None taken," she smiled.

"So, you love him. Why are you ‘just friends’ then? Friends that screw, that is."

"For one thing, Graham seems pretty content with the arrangement as we have it. It’s not like we can be a couple just because *I* want to… and anyway, it would destroy Riley."

"Oh please, the prick left you! Who gives a rat’s ass how he feels?"

"*I* do. I know you never liked Riley, but I loved him… at least a small part of me did. He’ll always have a piece of my heart. I don’t want to hurt him."

"Buffy, you’ve got to start looking out for yourself! You don’t want to make the pansy cry so instead you’re breaking your own heart. Damn, all those years with Angel turned you into a fucking martyr. Makes me ill."

"Spike, you don’t understand. I know that you’re good. You probably hate to hear me say it, but you’ve helped Dawn and I when you didn’t have to. But still, you’re a little shaky with the conscience. It’s a lot easier for you to just ignore someone else’s pain and to take what you want."

"Well, it’s a lot more fun way to live. Think about it. If you were more like me, you’d be with Graham and I wouldn’t find you in a cemetery, crying your eyes out."

Buffy sighed and leaned back in her chair, "You forgot the little part where Graham doesn’t want to date me."

"Yeah, how the Hell do you know he doesn’t? You’re telling him that you like this little arrangement when you really don’t, how do you know he’s not doing the same thing?"

She shrugged, "I can just tell. Why wouldn’t he say something if he felt the same way."

Spike took a drink from his mug, "Maybe he’s all guilt-ridden too. Maybe he has no idea how you really feel."

"Spike!" Dawn exclaimed, walking into the kitchen, "What are you doing here?"

"Having a cup of hot chocolate with your sister, Niblet. How are you doing?"

"I’m great," she grinned, taking a seat at the kitchen table, "I figured you’d be asleep, Buffy."

"Well, I’m not used to going to bed early yet, and I have butterflies."

"You’ll be great, won’t she, Spike?"

"Of course she will," he agreed, giving Buffy one of those looks that made her shiver.

"You need to get to bed, though," Buffy said, "You have class in the morning, and I won’t be here to wake you up every fifteen minutes until you get out of bed. And I don’t want you to make Mary’s mom wait when she comes to get you."

"I’m going, I’m going," Dawn sighed, kissing her sister on the cheek. "Night Spike."

"Goodnight," he replied as she left the room. He swallowed the last of his cocoa before looking at Buffy, "You’d better try and get a little rest too. I have stuff to do, anyway."

Buffy smiled as he stood up and rose from her seat, "Okay, I’ll try. Thanks, Spike… even though I didn’t exactly resolve anything, I do feel a bit better. It’s nice to talk to someone about all this."

"Anytime… I mean that," he said, "And Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"Your secret is safe with me."